My husband has just started talking to his Biological father.

Question

My husband remembers getting letter when he was in thrid grade and getting a phone call here and there and his father never paid child support most of his life. now that my husband is 22yrs he had just started paying it and well he had wrote a letter to him telling him that he's been looking for him for years and that his uncle has been looking for him and that whatever his mother is saying if she is saying about him might not be true that he wants a chance to get to know my husband and tell him everything about his side of the story and sounds as if he wants to be back in his life. My husband decided to call him yesterday and talk to him and his uncle and things went okay I'm sure his family is really hurt he wants to talk to his father thay had done everything they can to keep them out of eachothers life. Well I want to be there for my husband I don't tell him what I think he should do or what my thoughts are at all I'm only here to support my husband. I've been communicating to his uncle sending pics and everything for my husband and I want to meet them I don't know what to do or think I've been in my dads life my whole life my parents are married. I don't know what to think about this situation or how to handle being around his family all they do is talk about how screwed up it is and how mad they aer his father is trying to get to know my husband again. I mean his father was a bad person but he had cleaned himself up alot. Anyone who has been in this situation or knows people what should I do or think. I think everyone has a good side and deserves a second chance. Its his dad I don't want my husband to never know his dad when he dies it'll be to late.

Answer 1

It is never too late to right a wrong.

Seems as if his father has done this and is now trying to be a part of his life. Let him and when the negative comes from his family let them know you two can survive just fine without hearing the negative.

Your husband will also need to decide on his own to stand up to the bad and distance himself from it.

In the end after he has given him a chance to love his father and get to know him in an adult way the burdens will fall on others shoulders, not his.

Additional Comment:

It does not matter what his father was, what matters is what he is now. Some people hold onto the bad and never let it go no matter how hard you try to get them to see the good that has come from the bad. You can beat yourself up trying to make them see and understand another way but it will affect you more than them.

Don't worry about your husband. He is 22 years old and old enough to make his own decisions in this. He has his own way of seeing things now and should not let the bad of his past keep him from seeing the good of the future.

Support him and be there for him while he makes the move to get to know him again. Hope for the best and let come out of it what comes out of it.

Chances are since they saw nothing but negative and bad in this man they kept him from knowing his son. He had a right to whether he was bad or not.

I really don't understand the child support though. If he is 22 now then he is not eligible for it unless the father just wants to make good his bad. If he is doing that then the money needs to come directly to him and not his extended family.

Answer 2

reunioning for parents after long periods of time, can be overwhelming and good at the same time. My ex husband never had his dad in his life..but about 6 months before we got married, the now ex..wanted a relationship with his dad, he wrote to his dad, dad responsed back. The father and new wife, ended up at the wedding..some time after that when the children came along..the father ended up remarriage after the third wife died..and stopped having a relationship with the now ex husband and still to this day, doesn't bother we our children..so some times relationships work out and some times they don't. But this was my story and my experience with the now ex husband and his father.

Answer 3

I dont buy what hes selling theres always an alternative motive to these kind of people he probly owes some money to some people my dad is the same way back stabbing and doesnt care about his family I wouldnt let him do it