My husband is addicted to p**n and is becoming a crappy father! ?

Question

Every chance my husband has he is surfing p**n. Which if it is at night or when our family is not home, I could care less... but I don't even like to leave our child home with him, as I know the second I leave he will not pay any attention to him, instead he will go surf the net for p**n until I return. Then he is all lovey and says oh how much he wants me and starts groping me. YUK! Personally it makes me sick! I am not prude, but dammit when he has half an hour to spend with our child he should be a father not a p**n junkie! How can I say something without pissing him off? Please help!

Answer 1

take pics of your self and tell him too waight untill you get home lol

Answer 2

I know you'll hate this but...I think it's probably is because you are a prude. You probably only like it once every month or two and when you do it has to be missionary position.

Sure p**n can become an addiction for a lot of men because it satisfies part of them that isn't being satisfied. You obviously need to loosen up and start satisfying him in the bedroom.

Answer 3

grosssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

maybe get out some weird guy on guy p**n and start watching it in bed wth him next to you.

if he can do it so can you

Answer 4

whos more important him or the kids??

if you say the kids than get a divorce

if you say him than s***w  his brains out morning noon and night

u are a prude.

you should be sensitive to his needs

i bet you are real stingy with the s*x

he's gonna leave you

Answer 5

I don't think you're a prude.  p**n addictions don't have anything to do with what goes on in your bedroom, it is a neurochemical response to a sexual stimulation with no responsiblity or emotion involved.  No matter how hot or h*rny  you are, you are responsibility, committment and emotion wrapped up in the sexual experience.  Don't listen to the jerks who tell you you're not satisfying him.  That's like tellin the wife of an heroin addict that she's too boring for him, that's why he turns to heroin.  

First, don't let him watch your son.  You'll be as guilty as him if something happens to the baby while he's surfing p**n.  After all, no matter how much you WANT things to be different, you know the truth.  You'll have to live with that and I know you love your baby too much.  As hard as that is, and I know how hard it is to not have help with a small child, you have to protect your baby.  

Second, educate yourself about p**n addiction.  There are plenty of resources out there for you and for him.  But he has to want to change or you have to accept it.

I was speaking with at social worker PhD the other day about p**n addiction and she said that it almost inevitably leads to cheating.  So watch out for your life.  He could not only destroy your family but kill you and leave your son without a mother.

So give him an ultimatum.  He ends the p**n.  No more internet in the house (this sucks for you, but it is internet or your family), no nudie mags or channels, no movies, NO p**n.  Total accountability will be necessary.  12 step program, church p**n addict group, stuff like that.  He participates 100 percent and suffers the withdrawl for the rest of his life or loses his family.

Then stand behind your ultimatum.  What other choice do you have?

Answer 6

simply say that with a child comes responsibility and that your child is growing up fast and he's missing out. tell him that he needs to get help for his obsession... it seems to be taking over his life, and thereby impacting the lives of you and your son in a negative way. this is a bad environment to raise a child in and childhood scars can last a lifetime.  

Answer 7

Sounds like you need to cancel the internet and stop having s*x with him until he can learn respect.

Answer 8

Theres a balance of looking at p**n, but when it takes over spending time with his kids, that's a big problem.  I look at p**n at night, as our s*x life isn't that good and we don't do it that often, so I need a release, but I never choose p**n over spending valuable time with my children.  

Answer 9

how old are ya'll?  Mayb you need to get with him more often?

or mayb he needs to m********e  in the morning, this usualy helps...

Answer 10

He needs an ultimatum. If he does not change, leave him! You and your child deserve better!!

Answer 11

The worse thing you can do is try to make a man stop watching p**n because that means you're asking for marriage problems. He probably watched p**n before you and he will after you. Compromising is the key. Giving him some time to watch p**n throughout the night while everyone is sleeping so he can have the time to spend time with his kids during the day. Men love looking at beautiful women and their nothing better than watching beautiful women having s*x.  

Answer 12

o no !!

Answer 13

yea, thats a problem...good luck.

Answer 14

Hmmmmm without pissing him off???

Aren't you children's welfare at least as important as his moods?

FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR KIDS go here and learn to communicate better and get what's BEST FOR YOUR KIDS:

http://www.google.com/search?client=oper...

Answer 15

ouh my....let him watch one of the oprah show about p**n addicts!! that is soooo unhealthy...you should tell him to cut down on watching p**n....slowly tell him how you feel about his doing....you need to thrash it out with your husband....

Answer 16

this is ruining more marriages than $ problems, inlaws or anything else, you are losing true intimacy and he is becomming desensitized.

next step, adultery when it presents itself.

mabey you can put something on your computer where it can't be downloaded? if the child sees it that is child abuse.

Answer 17

was your love making good before he started to watch the porns? if it wasnt, maybe he is trying to learn something, so he can better please you. who knows.. i would say it sounds like he is really addicted and it is a sickness. you need to comfort him right away, before it is too late, if it isnt too late already.. communication is the only way you will know... commute asap.

Answer 18

You know...Back when me and my hubby started dating, I found p**n on his computer. I was not happy at all...he know it made me feel demoralized and like a smaller women....he stopped it. He didn't touch it again.

You need to tell your hubby this asap...that as a women your sickened and feel small because of it. Tell him that his ADDICTION is hurting you!!! Its you or p**n! Yes...HE IS ADDICTED probbly! You tell him firmly...you spill out every bit of sadness and rage to him when you do. Make him understand!

Answer 19

Tell him how his looking at p**n makes you feel.  use "I" statements.  If he agrees to lessen the looking while he's watching kids, great...but keep an eye on  it.  He may be addicted and really can't stop.  At that point counseling is the best opition.

Good luck

Answer 20

i was with someone who was addicted to p**n but he did it discretely.  I hated it too and i hated hving s*x with him after a while.  the s*x wasnt love anymore.  Before him, i was married to a guy addicted to video games.  This was just as bad.  My little boy would cry behind the door for att'n and he would continue to play video games.  Once i threatened to leave with our son, he chilled and started to be  abetter father but once my son wen tot bed, i was left alone.  Ive been divorced now for over six years. It wasnt the reason why we divorced. We had many issues but i can understand how you feel.  You have to say something now and put boundaries.  I personally would not like it all if he did that and he shouldnt if he has kids.  

Answer 21

Why are you worried about pissing him off?? Are you scared of him or something? The real question is, why did you ever give him the impression that it's okay to look at p**n while he is in a relationship? It doesn't make you a freakin' prude! You're his wife! What he is doing is disgusting and should be reserved for people who are still single, not married couples with children at home. Eww!  

Answer 22

unfortunately he is in an addiction just as bad as drugs or alcohol!! sexual addiction is something that he wont just snap out of...

you say you hate it and it bothers you, you are going to have to set some boundaries and stick to them. honestly tell him how it makes you feel, and let him know that if he continues to look at it, neglect the kids, yourself etc........is going to happen (you are going to have to fill in the blanks)  and stick to them.

right now your husband is in a viscious cycle that who knows where its going to end. and the sad part about it is he is the only one that is going to be able to say that he needs help.

this is going to get worse before it gets better. its going to take some standing up to him, setting some boundaries and standing up for  yourself and the kids!

Answer 23

Two thoughts:

1. tell him exactly what you just told us.

2. marriage counseling.

Does it really matter whether he gets pissed off or not?  Aren't you and him and your child and your marriage a lot more important than him getting angry or not?

Answer 24

BLOCK THE SITE ON THE INTERNET OR YOU COULD TAKE THE POWER CORDS AWAY WHEN YOUR OUT OF THE HOUSE OR AT NIGHT TIME OR PUT PARRENTAL CONTROLLS ON THE TV

Answer 25

tell him. r u mad at me or say he is becoming a bad father but break it to him easy and tell him that u need help if those don't help then i don't know

Answer 26

I suggest you get counseling. He is obviously addicted to p**n.