My husband is always sick!!?

Question

My husband is 33 years old and overweight. Two years after we were married, he discovered that he had high blood pressure and cholesterol issues. Most people who have simple illness take their medication, change their diet and they tend to lead a normal healthy life. Not his case. Every week or two at the most he complains about problems with sleeping at night. It seems as though when he goes to bed his blood pressure spikes. He has pain in his arm, his chest is heavy, and when he does check his blood pressure it's sky high. He'll take his meds and usually in an hour it will subside. I have been dealing with this with him for so long that forgive me, but I've gotten aggrevated. The doctors have changed his meds, increased them, decreased them, but he is always complaining about something. They can never find anything. He's lost weight, changed his diet and works out daily. I'm beginning to wonder if this is all in his head. Like he just expects to feel bad so he does. Please help!!!

Answer 1

I understand how annoying this may be & how it may be draining you emotionally, but theirs hope, this sounds like a man that may have depression & anxiety? He sounds very stressed out about health problems that its most likely causing more stress. Maybe you can recommend counseling? & Yes, if a person expects to feel bad, they can & will, having a positive attitude can make a difference in his overall health & wellbeing.  

Answer 2

He may just be a whiner, or he just wants the attention.  There are some people who feel that everyone around them needs to be aware of his health issues and wants them to suffer with him.  Or you get people who just suck it up and keep it to themselves.

It does sound like he is not taking his meds at the same time each day.  I take all of mine right before bed every night.  He needs to take them at the same time each day.  If he doesn't have a watch or cell phone with an alarm on it get him one and set it to go off when it is time for the meds.  Or you may need to act like his mother and remind him.  I think that once you get him on a schedule with his meds that he should not have some of these problems.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

it's probably not in his head.  be his biggest cheerleader and advocate.  if he was up on trail for killing someone he would need you to believe him.  this is a big deal and you need to be on his side.

find a chiropractor , ND, and anyone else who has a different take on total health.  he isn't getting what he needs from the normal medical profession.  mostly don't be weary in well doing!

Answer 4

I can't help your husband.  However, I do have advice for you: stop worrying about it so much.  He really does have health problems (psychosomatic sickness does not cause "sky high" blood pressure), so it falls to him to take his medications as prescribed, to eat healthier, and to exercise, and there's nothing much you can do about those things except cook nutritious meals when you cook, and sometimes exercise with him.  Other than that, there's no sense worrying because there's nothing else you can do.

You say, "I have been dealing with this with him for so long that forgive me, but I've gotten aggravated."  So, stop "dealing" with it.  Accept that what you can do is all you can do.  Just because he worries or complains doesn't mean you have to engage in worrying with him.  Sure, he could keel over dead tomorrow, but you worrying about that in advance will have no effect on that whatsoever.  Stop worrying about what's wrong with your husband, and focus your attention on the things that you love and enjoy about him.

Answer 5

There is a problem getting the meds to a proper dosage at times, can change alot in some cases. That differance can make you feel bad. Sounds like he may be on the right track, but some people just like to complain. He may never grow out of that!

Answer 6

Probably not in his head if he is over weight the weight is bothern him why he feels like c**p. Being to heavy for your own good can hurt you.

Answer 7

Does he have a stable job or is he taking sickies ?

Actually my uncle is like that. Oh the pain on my wrist... my arm... etc etc. I can't do this i can't do that.. Drives my aunty up the wall. He's too sick to do any work but he's healthy enough for intercourse lol (My Aunty's words)

If this sounds familiar it's laziness plain and simple if he doesn't get his act together you can whip him into shape (literally) Or you'll be stuck with him like that for the rest of YOUR life.  

Answer 8

It sounds like he is trying to do the right things to improve his health.  I know its hard living with someone who complains all the time, but he probably does have something going on.  Doctors don't always find everything.  If he really expected to feel bad, he wouldn't be going through the rigors of diet and exercise.  You're probably just venting right now.  Keep the venting to strangers on line, so your husband doesn't feel like he is a burden on you or that you don't believe in him.  Best of health to you both:)

Answer 9

Thank God I don't have high blood pressure or cholesterol problems. Both DO run in my family, but they are real and Dr's really can't give a reason why some extremely healthy people have high blood pressure.

Stress, family history, poor diet, inactivity are all contributors, but not always the culprit.

So just support him the best you possibly can.

  

Answer 10

I am thinking if it were in his head then those doctors are prescribing meds for nothing. Listen first of all I know it can be tiring. But you need to remember he does have a disease. There are many symptoms and some times symptoms from the meds doctor try on him. The med at time can be worst that the disease. You sound very angry. You mentioned most cases people take their meds and lead a healthy life. Yes they lead a healthy life but still have aggravating symptoms. Depending on your coverage it may take two years to dial in his meds. It sounds like he has made progress by losing weight. Just because you lose weight does not mean disease leaves. Get your husband to counseling for chronic pain. This will help him keep most pains to himself. He is just telling you whats happening to his body. Your life has gone done hill because he just keeps telling you and telling you. I am sure he senses your anger, and feels terrible for being sick.I am going to tell you something that may seem harsh. Your husband is truly sick. This is when he neeeds his partners help the most. If you are feeling he is just making it up. I know he feels that and belives you don't really love him anymore. Remeber reenforce that positives. He lost weight he works out. You both need to work on dropping the negative thoughts. Your mind can do many things. I know of memebrs of my family that have terminal cancer. They are sick every day but they enjoy evry moment of whats left of their life. They know that they are leaving but you would never know it by their feelins. You love your husband? If you do then start the new way of thinking and care for him with love not anger.  

Answer 11

This sounds like my ex husband to the T.  I was married  my whiner for 33 years, after 20 years I tuned him out, I couldn't help someone who will not help them self.

Answer 12

give his a medicine

Answer 13

All you can really do is divorce him so give him an ultimatum to get well in the head.