My husband is angry at me because i dont have enough breastmilk!!!

Question

I gave birth 3 1/2 weeks ago and I have been pumping. At the begining i had plenty milk but now it seems im getting less, anyways my husband blames me for not producing enough milk, he made me feel so miserable last night i tried to explain that i just cant make it appear and he got so angry and started yelling at me. He told me that I have to pump every 2 hrs, but the truth is that with the baby its so hard to get spare time that often. We got mad at each other and he says hes the victim I feel horrible I have been crying since last night, I feel like im a bad mother and wife, I dont understand what I have done to deserve this. Hes 34 and im 23 and he even blames me because i wasnt able to find a school that teaches floor tiling in our area!!!!

Answer 1

he's yelling at the mother of his child! threaten to leave him and make him pay child support.

Answer 2

Why don't you tell him to try looking after the baby on his own for a day so that he might realise how tirring it is and that without you, he can't even produce milk!!

You're not a bad mother and you're certainly not a bad wife.  You're just slightly unlucky that you don't have enough breastmilk.  It's not your fault.  Do not blame yourself.  He's a jerk.

Answer 3

He's a control freak.  Get the heck ot of there.  You are in a bad marriage.  What does he want you to do?  You cannot bring forth breast milk if it isn't there.  The idiot.  And tension will only make things worse.  And I personally do not know of any schools that teach laying floor tiles.  You need to get out of that wreck of a marriage and let someone else have the idiot.  You don't deserve that treatment.

Answer 4

I would tell him go lactate!!!!

Answer 5

He obviously has some problems!  Ignore him and do your own thing.  It is your baby and your body.  If you can't produce more milk then you can't and him yelling at you or being angry with you won't change how much milk you produce!  

Answer 6

Sounds to me like he just enjoys being angry over something.

Answer 7

he's 34 and ur 23? hopefully he's rich.. if not u must be pretty ugly, just take his verbal abuse because ur obviously not pretty enough to find another man

Answer 8

OMG! Some men are just......AHHH!  I know the feeling.

Tell him to watch the baby every two hours so you can pump or hire someone to help you so you can pump...basically, ask him nicely what he can do to help you produce more milk and if he can come up with the solution, then fine! but if now, then tell him to get a grip.  

Answer 9

WHAT? Are you kidding me? That's not your fault whatsoever. It sounds like stress issues? Or he has anger problems?

You have no control over the amount of breast milk you produce...

Answer 10

chillax..............

it nt ur fault

u r a gr8 mom...........nd a wife.........

ur husband is totally a ject

if he threatens u again.......ask hm to feed.........

wat does he thinkkk?????????........

nway u dunt take tension...........jus relax........he is out of his mind

Answer 11

I'm sorry but what a pig! You don't need to be pumping now, you need to be feeding your baby. Your milk will produce the right amount for your baby and no more. You have done NOTHING to deserve this. If he isn't careful, your milk supply will dry up-it happened to me with my first son as my then boyfriend did nothing to help me. I was only able to feed my son for 6 weeks as my milk totally dried up.

You are not a bad mother and you are not a bad wife. He, however, is being a terrible husband and a terrible father as he is blatently not caring about what is best for your child, and that is a calm, relaxed and happy breastfeeding mother.

Tell him in no uncertain terms that if he doesn't lay off you then your milk will dry u[p and HE will be to blame. Or go onto bottle milk-you don't need the stress of him being like this. If you go onto bottle milk then make sure he does all the night feeds!

Also how does he know baby is not getting enough milk? Is your baby not putting on weight? Cos short of that, he can't know at all.

Take care of yourself ok?

Answer 12

What!

Answer 13

The man is an idiot. Lose him.

Answer 14

wtf? he's 34 and you're 23? how the h**l did that happen?...man your'e gonna end up either dead or really badly abused! sounds like a macho chauvanist b*****d...leave him.

take your child and run. getting a restraining order. thats just plain stupid!!! blaming your wife because shes running out of breastmilk.. does he not know that you only lactate for a little while? breast milk isnt gonna last forever!!!

Answer 15

What a jerk..........sorry to be harsh.  

Answer 16

that is NOT your fault you cant do anything to help that

Answer 17

Call the cops, press harassment charges on him, then file for a divorce, sue for custody of the children!I

Answer 18

He sound verbally abusive, or about to be there. Whats his deal? I wouldn't deal with him, kick him to the curb.

Answer 19

Wow, sounds like a jerk.  To help with the breast milk thing I would contact a lactation consultant to see what they recommend doing.  Some women just can't breastfeed because things like this happens to them and they just can't reproduce enough milk.  And as far as your husband goes, sounds like he is a bit verbally abusive and do you really want your child growing up around that?

Answer 20

wow!

im soooooo sorry for u!

and im really very sorry that om telling u this but ur husband is a big fat jerk! and thats only me being kind!

u r being an excellent mother and its not ur fault that u cant produce enough breast milk!

and ur being an excellent wife by actually caring about ur jerk of a husband!

but trust me! if i would have met him! i would seriuosly give him a lesson he would NOT forget!

ur doing a wonderful job! please i think u should like try to keep ur husband happy with wat he does because that is the only way he will shut up! that way he will understand that u r trying to be kind and he might actually be kind bk!

gd luck!

bless u and your child!

hope  i helped!

ps-if that doesnt help, then im sorry but u have to leave him so that u and ur child will be able to live peacefully! consider telling a close frend or someone u can trust to help u deal with the problem!

thanks and gd luck!

Answer 21

Tell him to pass a bowling ball through his butt hole and then tell you how it feels!!!!!

Answer 22

Uhh...Sounds to me like your husband is an a$$hole...might wanna rethink that situation for s**z girlie.  

Answer 23

Tell him to go on with his insistent controlling attitude.  Not every woman breastfeeds nor has the inclination to do so, and not breastfeeding is NOT a crime nor does it make you less of a mother and wife.  I don't breastfeed.  And I dare anyone to try and make me feel less of a mother for not letting my child attach itself to my breast just because its "better".  If you're b*****s are producing less, then its likely not due to you, but the baby's eating habits.  Tell your husband that the stress isn't helping either and try to augment your breastfeeding with formula fed bottles.  It won't hurt the baby.

Answer 24

Tell him since he's so perfect, he should start nursing the baby.

  Unless he's a physician, he needs to shut up and let you do your job. Him yelling at you will actually cause you to produce LESS milk from stress!

  Just take a deep breath, then yell as loud as you can, "Shut up and go tile a floor! I'm the mother and I know what I am doing."

Answer 25

You cannot control how much milk your b*****s produce. And his yelling and stressing you out will cause production to get less. However, you have a much bigger problem. Your husband is emotionally abusive and may or may not become physically abusive. It's time to look at getting out.  

Answer 26

ohh my gosh, that's terrible. It's so great that you had a baby, but I think with him won't be so good. He seams to have anger issues. I would have him get counsiling or honestly... leave. I mean you can't picture your life being just like this with him forever can you?

Answer 27

He sounds like he is just stressed out. Adding a new addition to a family is a very stressful event. Also he might feel useless in the situation of feeding the baby because he himself can not do anything so he is just aggravated and it taking it out on you. To fix the problem try talking to your doctor about it. They are always helpful and may have ideas on how to produce more milk. My guess is that you might not be eating the things your body needs in order to produce milk. But that is just a guess...

P.S. don't give up on your relationship the quickly. Just because he is older and yes maybe he might have a small anger management, but who doesn't these days...? People not everyone in this world is bad. Yes he is older but that doesn't make him psycho! What is wrong with you people!? Hun, don't give up and break up with him. Just relax and try and figure out first why you are not producing enough milk. Maybe try a doctor.

Answer 28

Your husband sounds like my dad.

When my mom and dad were still together, if he was wrong he would hit my mom, she already broke 2 fingers and a leg because of him, he was in the navy too, so when he left for sea my mom packed up, wrote him an e-mail and left him.

When he is at work, leave a note that your taking your furniture later :)

Answer 29

he is an older man, who is controlling you.  alot of times older men date younger woman because they are more naive.

tell him to go to h**l.  i read somewhere that you get more milk by direct nursing then pumping.

Answer 30

the guy needs to lighten up or you are in for a whirl of a marriage.