My husband is annoyed with me because I threw away his ex-girlfriend’s stupid rock?

Question

My husband’s ex-girlfriend does arts & crafts. When they lived together she painted river rocks for him. They are still friends & I don’t have a problem with that. I even put some of her rocks in my fish tank because I liked them & I put a few with my plants as well.

Some just have polka dots, one has my husband’s name on it, one says “Live Life”, one says “LOVE” and has flames around it, and one said “Two Peas in a Pod”. I asked him if it was really necessary to keep the peas in a pod rock with the stupid little peas hugging. I mean I don’t need reminders of how f-in cute they were together. You know? He SIGHED heavily like I was causing a problem.

When he wasn’t around I threw it in the trash. It took him about a week to notice but he was all butt hurt that I threw away his rock.

Would you have kept the rock?

Answer 1

Sorry, but as hard as it was for you to live with that one stupid rock while keeping the others, it really wasn't right for you to decide that it didn't need to be in your life anymore.  You could have compromised somehow.  What if he had taken it to work with him?  Or kept it in his sock drawer?  At least he wasn't hiding it from you.

Answer 2

i would have done the same thing but i guess that it wasn't what the rock meant but what might have hurt him was that it was his and it seemed that he didn't want the rocks to be thrown away... but yes i would have done the same thing...

Answer 3

Whether I would keep the rock or not, your husband showed too much concern over a rock that his ex painted when his concern should be more with how you feel. I feel you have been more than compromsing and so what is the big deal over one rock?  

Answer 4

If he was over her he wouldnt have minded. I would be worried.

Answer 5

Well you made it clear to him how you felt about it. He should have respected you and at least hid it. I don't know why he would want to hang onto those little cutesy ones; that would make me uncomfortable too.

But it wasn't yours to throw away. That's the bottom line.  

Answer 6

It wasn't YOURS to decide.

You owe the man big time. It wasn't the fact that the rock is gone...its that you seem to feel your pettiness is more important than his feelings.

As much as you don't want to admit it, she was a part of his life for a time. If she had died in a horrible accident instead of a break-up, would you have the same feelings about the rock. If so, then you are very insecure in your relationship and are creating threats in your head that don't exist.

Do you have ANYTHING from a previous relationship? A picture, a gift or a love note? If so, then you are very hypicritical and I doubt that your marriage is going to last.

K

Answer 7

you are funny.  please date me instead.  seriously, he needs to man up and not be so 'butt hurt.'  i threw away all the letters from my ex and i don't even have a girlfriend, not to mention the love of my life til i Die.  or is that me being bitter?

Answer 8

I wouldn't get jealous over petty things from someone's past...afterall, its HIS past, not his present, and it was HIS!  If he wanted to get rid of it, that's his business.

If you didn't mind all the others, really, what was the big deal?  You've got him--not a rock that says "two peas in a pod?"  She's probably got a matching one!

Sorry!

Answer 9

Probably would have put it in his drawer so I would not have to look at that butt stank ugly c**p.

Just tell him it bothered you and acknowledge you did something wrong. But tell him it has been bothering you for years.

Nah, I would have thrown that s*hit out and done above. I would have thrown them all in the river even fish tank ones.

Answer 10

I would've have thrown away all of them.  Better yet, I would've asked him to throw them away.  I have pictures of me and my ex, but they are put away in a box.  I think that there is something wrong with having mementoes of past relationships around the house.

Answer 11

You should've left it up to him.

I know it has to be annoying to see memories of their relationship and he should respect how you feel.

On the other hand, it belonged to him and you should've given him the opportunity to either give it back or throw it away.

Answer 12

It's his rock, you shouldn't have thrown ot out. How many things of yours has he thrown out?

Answer 13

You could of packed them up and put them in a box up into the attic.

People do have a right to keep momento's from their lives.

Answer 14

Well, it is rude to throw away something that doesnt belong to you. But I do think that you have handled this in a mature way. I mean the whole not caring about the rocks and even displaying them yourself. I think you should apologize to him and tell him you werent really thinking. You got angry. And next time you should really stress to him how you dont like something, and it should come from him to throw it away. Dont throw away private property again.  

Answer 15

Yes, to hit him in the head with it!!

Answer 16

To be honest, it was just a rock, it posed no threat to your relationship with your husband, you married him and she didn't..You could have just kept it somewhere out of sight, so you didn't have to see it.

Answer 17

You deliberate threw something out he wanted to keep. Even if he doesn't say much now, you did something that you'd better realize isn't going to heal itself. The one person he should be able to trust did something mean and sneaky and did it entirely on purpose and knowing it was wrong but through more of their childish jealousy than him. You now have bigger problems than painted rocks from an ex girlfriend, and you did it all to yourself. Get to work thinking about it and working on it. Right now, he's wondering if YOU were his big mistake.  

Answer 18

i see your side of it..but i also see his..he should have put it in a box and hid it away in the closet.well not really hid it..you could have done that for him.. it was not like he really wanted to be with her. but it was done at a  time in his life when she was special to him.. and now they are just Friends.but it should not bother him so much that is causes to much problems with the two of you.. since you keep all the other..most women would not have done that..

Answer 19

Good for you - you go girl!  I would of done the same thing.

Answer 20

You threw away something that belonged to him without asking.

That was wrong.

How would you like it if he got rid of half your clothes and shoes because he felt you had enough?

You've got her river rocks all over the house-- what's the deal with 2 more??

Answer 21

He shouldn't keep it if it hurts you so badly. But you shouldn't throw away peoples stuff. He has every right to have his memories with her.  

Answer 22

You should have asked him to throw it away.  I'd be pissed too.  Why would you want to do something to make you look like a ***** compared to her?  Kinda defeats the purpose...

Answer 23

h**l no i would have threw it out hes MARRIED to u not her he needs to get over her seems  like he has some feels for her and i bet wen ever yal fight that's who he runs to is her since there still friends u were nice enough to keep all the other stupid rocks tell em to grow some balls and get over it if the shoe was on the other foot and u were keep tons of stupid lil rocks ur EX made you he wouldn't have it he would want them ALL gone  

Answer 24

I want to say that you were out of line.  But let me be honest....knowing me, I would have done the same thing you did:)  

Answer 25

when we started going out, all evidence of ex-girlfriends went in the trash. and he had me do the same.

Answer 26

KB is right. You have no right to throw his stuff away. If you maturely talked to him about how the 'cutesie' rocks made you feel, he probably would have gotten rid of them eventually himself. Give him the chance to do the right thing, they surprise us every once in awhile :)  

Answer 27

No longer "His Rocks"...when you married, they became "Your rocks" and  HIS WIFE has every right to throw them away.

Answer 28

It was rude and inconsiderate. You should have at least expressed your feelings to him and told him that it was upsetting and let him make the final decision. You could have at the very least, not thrown it away, and just put it out of site. You have some apologizing to do. That rock had nothing to do with you and it was not yours.  

Answer 29

mi mom did the same

Answer 30

Its a ROCK, he will get over it, and if he doesn't then I would advise him to seek counselling.

EDIT:

Ok, all these people saying "you shouldn't have thrown his property away" are cracking me up. HELLO PEOPLE IT'S A ROCK, not jewelry, or clothes, or whatever, IT'S A ROCK with two peas hugging. WHO GIVES A S**T ABOUT A ROCK???

Answer 31

No I definately wouldn't not keep it. Like it's really not a big deal, but if it bothers you and it's just something that doesn't matter from an ex he should have been the one getting rid of it.