My husband is currently deployed to Iraq, and just got orders yesterday to PCS to Ft. Lewis...?

Question

My husband was given DA selected orders for Ft. Lewis, to report in April 2009, he is scheduled to come home in November of this year, now, I have sole physical custody and physical placement of my son, and his biological father (not my husband) has visitation or parenting time, his father has been visiting him for about a year and my son is going on 7 in October. With my son's father I offered to send our son out here to visit him whenever there is a school break and I even offered to pay for the transportation of such visits, but he is still refusing The biological father is not agreeing to me moving out of state with the child, and is saying he wants custody if I do that, now in our court order t*t states that I have sole custody with placement and that the father can petition the court for modification of the agreement if I move out of NY, I'm scared that the court won't let me take my son to Ft. Lewis if the bio father is contesting the move, and I'm scared I will lose custody if I try to fight to take him. Is there anyone who has any information on this that could help me out.

Also, is there anything my husband can do in order to get his orders changed. THey are basically giving him two options, 1) to resign and take the Lewis orders or 2) to do nothing and it will be considered a deck statement which means no promotions, no awards/certificates, no schooling, it will basically ruin his career but he will ETS when he is supposed to. However, the only problem with this is that they can reissue him orders to go anyways either to Lewis or to another base even with the deck statement...what are the chances they will do this? What should we do and what are our options in this situation? My husband is due to ETS in 2010 and if he refuses the orders that will only give him about a year and a half in, will they bother to reissue orders since he only has a year, he can't be promoted, he can't go to schools so basically he wouldn't be an asset to any base that he was sent to. What options do we have to get these orders deleted or reassigned?

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Answer 1

He may talk to his detailer and ask if there is a billet in NY. They are the best bet to getting an order change. Beyond that you would have to make sacrifices. Do not be afraid of family court. They tend to strive for the best needs of the child and mothers have an advantage.  The child deserves to be in regular contact with his father. Your husband needs to do what is best for his career you need to support him in that. Good luck. There will be a lot of work to get orders that keep you where you are but it would be worth it if your son gets to see his father regularly.  No blame years from now.

Answer 2

Okay ma'am, this a two part problem.

One is child custody. You need and must go to your post legal assistance and bring ALL your documents with and his orders and summarize your story with a timeline. This will help an attorney. I am a paralegal and I can tell what you should do or could, but this the 'net and you are in New York. It would take alot of time to research all of the New York child custody laws and I would need to see all your documents and have an attorney present (I can only give assistance, not adivce), etc.

Child custody info from the main JAG site:

https://www.jagcnet.army.mil/852573F6007...

Soooo to make it easy, just go to your nearest installation and see their legal section. Oh yeah, talk to your own civvie lawyer you dealt with before too and let them know what's up.

As for the orders...after you get the info for the about the child custody, your husband can be an better decison. He needs to be helping with this too and after you get the your 'half' done, he can concentrate on the PCS. A Declination statement can be damaging, so it must be considered  and it seems you know the risks.

Try to go throught unit's FRG or look in the or in a Post's phone to talk to a re-up NCO (a senior one if possible) to talk about the real deal and your options and how much time you have.

Get the FACTS from the right people! You might read crazy stuff here even, but like President Reagan said, "Trust, but verify!"

Answer 3

hmmm, that's a tough one. i'd tell him to go and talk to base legal. that's my only suggestion.