My husband is in the military and is not worth a d**n?

Question

I have been with my husband for four years and we have been married for only six months. I feel he is so lazy. Yes it is my fault marrying him knowing this but I am to the point where I am extremely fed up with him. He has been in the military for three and a half years. He started off as an E-1 and he is still an E-1(d**n shame). I work so hard and have big bills(necessities not wants) He only gives me like 300.00 every two weeks. He doesn't have any bills and he gets an allowance for meals. I am so fed up with him. He never has any money he d**n near expects for me to pay for everything. If I was the man I would provide for him if I didn't have any bills. I don't understand how he can be in the military for almost four years and still the lowest rank in the military. He acts like he doesn't have a family. I am tired of being dissapointed. I just found out that he took out an allotment of 1,000.00 every month for himself and he didn't even take one out for me and I am the one taking care of home and struggling. What should I do. He doesn't listen to me. He told me he was going to give me some money to pay for school so I could go on externship and now he says he doesn't have the money and that he doesn't give a f**k about me trying to be a Surgical Technologist. Someone with a positive answers please tell me what should I do. I am at the end of my ropes with him. I make more than him but he doesn't even try to better himself.

Answer 1

As a military man, husband and father, I say you have what I call a boy, not a man.

MEN provide for their families, shoulder their load and do what is right, regardless of consequences.  THAT is what being a man is and is also what truly gains respect among other men.

Cut this boy loose and move on.  YOU deserve a man.

Answer 2

If he is still an E1 after 3 1/2 years in the military then there is a problem.  Was he demoted for something?  Because usually you make E2 very quickly along with E3 definitely within 2 years.   His pay would be $1300 before taxes as an E1 so he should be getting around $450 each pay period AND if you are not living in housing then he is getting BAH (Housing Allowance) which depending on where you live can be $1000 a month for rent and utilities.  

So if he took out an allotment for himself then that means he is collecting at least $1600 a month (after paying you $300 twice a month).   his allowance for meals is $295, so that puts him up to at least $1900 after deductions, so he is obviously making more than you realize and may not be an E1.  

Didn't you question this before in your relationship?  You obviously had problems before because it isn't something that would have just come up out of the blue.  Consider a divorce, find out the rules for your area and do the paperwork.  You might also want to do some investigating on him to see if he is telling the truth.  Like do you see him in Uniform going to work?  Does he have decent hours?  Do you have the command information?  Did you contact the FRG/Key Volunteer for information on the next meeting?  It almost sounds like he is lying through his pants.

Answer 3

Talk to him & make plans for yourself.  Sometimes people grow up.

Answer 4

Divorce him after 3 years and he is still an E-1 then he is a loser.

Answer 5

He does not make much money as you know the military does not pay well at all.  The militar poromises to pay school and depending on which branch you are in, you will probably never see a penny.  They also expect people to pay their own clothes and needed items like shoes etc.  Perhaps he needs a little therapy and maybe the two of you should go together.  I dont know what hte allotment is but if you are married to him and resent him , I m thinking you  both need help with communication with each other, only you know the reason you married him , something to consider in whether you want to stay with him or take out student loans or get a grant, if you are the main supporter.

Answer 6

The big question I have is that if you have been with four years why did you marry him six months ago?  You had to have seen what he was like; being in the military for over three years and still an E1 is really  surprising since the military usually will seperate people for not doing anything and staying E1 is not doing anything.  Divorce him and get on with your life; military ornot he is not worth a nickel.

Answer 7

I agree, dump that bum... I spent 18 years in the navy, and surprised that he is still in there.. they need something like Operation Upgrade, like we had back in the 70's where non-performers were tossed out..

good luck, dear..

Oh, and I would suggest a talk with the chaplain of the base or ship he's stationed on..

Answer 8

one i know is when me and my husband got married, he wasnt allowed to go to the DEFAC anymore, because it cost 200$ a month. call his first sgt. and tell him that he's not paying his bills.

and it should work, my husband came home one day and said one of his soldiers wife had called and complained about him spending all their money on video games and he got into a lot of trouble.

and it depends if you guys are living on or off post. and if hes in iraq or not. because my friend had the same problem and it turned out he had to give her BAH. but he didn't have to send her anything else(he was in iraq).but if he's at home with you, eating , bathing, and watching tv, he should pay the bills too.try to call his first sgt., and if that doesn't work leave him. you can do better.

Answer 9

Divorse that Bast-ard

Answer 10

um I would say it's time to get that paperwork started. for you to even say those things, sounds like the time has passed for thies relationship. E-1 after three years!!!? are you sure he's not lying just to make you think he is making less money?

Answer 11

E1 and still an E1? Did he just get out of Leavenworth?

Answer 12

I think you answered your own question....   I cut and pasted this from YOUR question.....

"he says he doesn't have the money and that he doesn't give a f**k about me"

NUFF SAID?????

Answer 13

Give him the boot - file for divorce and get a good lawyer...

I agree - he is a "boy" not a man. Most likely he will never grow up...

Answer 14

Divorce would be a good start.