My husband is mad at me?

Question

becasue i offered to my friend who lives in new orleans that she and her family could come stay with us if they have to evacuate. we have a very large house. but i didnt check with my husband first and they do need to evacuate so theyre on their way here. i know i should have checked wih im first but he may have said no. he says it will interfere with his labor day weekend and doesnt see why they couldnt just stay at a hotel. was i wrong?

Answer 1

he needs to put himself in thier shoes. that is selfish. and yes you should had ask him, u are stuck between both u dont want to hurt thier feelings is why you just said yes right? I understand that too. h**l get over it. good luck. dont let him be mean to them.

Answer 2

  What if  he had don that?

Answer 3

I don't think you were wrong.  Perhaps you should have discussed it with your husband first, but I know that if I did the same thing, my husband would totally understand, and I wouldn't get in trouble for not asking first in any gesture of charity/help to a friend.

Answer 4

Yes, I think you were wrong. You should have asked before you invited your friend to stay.  What if he had a surprise weekend getaway for just the two for this labor day at a five star hotel??? Now what?! That's far-fetched, but it's only right that you ask your spouse before you invite anyone over to the house the two of you SHARE.

Answer 5

You're right that you should have checked with him in the first place.. do apologise to him for that... Tell him that you have already invited them over.. ask him for a solution to that now..  

Answer 6

How does he feel about this friend and family?

But be extra nice to him and it should smooth over.

Answer 7

Wow, you should have asked him too, but his answer of, it will interfere with HIS weekend.  Isnt it your weekend also.  He seems demanding.

Answer 8

You should've asked your husband first because it is his household too. He's probably upset because you didn't run it by him first, he's not upset that they're staying..because your friend needs help. I'm sure if you would've asked him nicely and lovingly - he would've agreed. Next time just be more thoughtful

Answer 9

you are never wrong when you help a friend in need. if your husband doesn't realize that, then when he really needs help,no one will be there for him.

Answer 10

sorry but you were wrong in not asking him...its your husband, his and your house and you wouldnt like it if he did the same thing. think about it, he may have planned something for the bth of you and you screwed it...

Answer 11

men are VERY difficult creatures

they have to think they are the ones who make decisions or their whole world comes crashing down

since you have already offered and they are on their way - the only thing you can do is try to smooth it over

apologize for not asking him first - and if there is anything you can do (he will growl 'no' - then maybe suggest that you will find something for them to do to get them out of the house - leave it at that - maybe later on mention some things you found for them to do, parade, festival at park, since its labor day, there should be SOMETHING going on)

he may get over it - or not - either way you just have to deal with it this time - if he said he wanted to spend it with you and no one else - just say, ok, you will make sure they have something to do -

and try to have something for them to do - he may eventually get over that and relent to them having a cookout with you guys or something - but once they get there and if he sees on the news what is happening, he may feel bad about his whole attitude -

anyways - just try to smooth it over, and assure him in the future you will check with him first -

Answer 12

Its never wrong to help a friend. Your husband just feels that you didn't respect his opinion on the situation. I think since you both share the house, you should have at least voiced your intentions to him before plans were finalized.

But at the same time, refusing a friend shelter because it might interfere with a barbecue is a pretty ignorant excuse. Just this once, since it's basically a crisis situation, listen to him ruffle his feathers a bit and help your friend out. But in the meantime apologize and let him know you'll include him in such decisions from now on.  

Answer 13

I wouldnt have had a issue with it.

it would have been nice to ask, but not nessesary

  AND THANK YOU  for your caring and concern !!! Im proud of you !

Answer 14

You were definitely wrong.....you both live in the house!!!!  I think you should  find another place for them to stay.  You also owe your husband an apology.  That was a very selfish thing to do.

Answer 15

What is wrong with you? It's his house too! You are in the wrong here! You very much should've talked with him.  

Answer 16

I LIVE IN NEW ORLEANS! im evacuating tomorrow

may i come stay with you?

Answer 17

Your heart was in the right place, and you sound like a very good person and good friend, but you should have checked with him first. And he would be an *** to say no.

Answer 18

i think your husband needs to stop and think about someone else for a min. not just HIS labor day weekend.  

I do not think you were wrong at all!!!!

Answer 19

hmm you should have asked first but then explain to him that you really want to help them and it would be alot to you. If he is mad because he cant party all weekend then he needs to grow up.

Answer 20

Yes, you should have checked with him first. It's his house too. Would you want a pile of his relatives dropping by for who knows how long? The last time a hurricane hit there, people were homeless for YEARS. True, he might have said no, but that would have saved you the embarrassment and uncomfortableness that is going to happen once your friends arrive.

Answer 21

Yes you should have asked first. But what is he doing so extravagant for labor day weekend that he cant help someone out especially a friend of yours. He need to get over it and think what will happen if you guys where in this situation and maybe couldnt afford a hotel. If you have a big house im pretty sure your friends wont be in his way and appreciate you guys very much for offering help when needed.