My husband is suicidal, I am scared and need help?

Question

My husband has been through so much the last 2 years..he thinks his life is over. His brother committed suicide 3 months ago and he is in this funk that he cant get out of. I found out today he made a will and is trying to get life ins. He is not working which I think is a huge problems because he stays home alone all day. I contacted local hospitals but he would have to voluntarily check in. He WOULD NEVER GO. The last option the hospital said is to call the police and they take him to a hospital for 72 hrs and then a judge decides if he can leave. This man is the love of my life, I am scared I am losing him. He wont talk to me. I am depressed and cry all day and am trying not to become an alcoholic because of this...I need some advice, I am lost anything would help. How do I talk to him or who do I talk to? Pleae serious answers only I am in a very dark place right now

Answer 1

be there for him, he probably feels lonely, spend more time with him. You said hes home alone, which is bad, hes most likely hes thinking negative thoughts and its jsut building up. Take a few days off work or something, give him a reason for living, have fun with him. hope this helps :) or get him on anti-depressants

Answer 2

hey let me shine a little bright light on ya in ur darken moment okay

1st does he still have any kin still alive as mother uncle some1 blood kin if so tell them to have him commited it only takes u and a blood kin to do that.

2nd call the police and ask them if they could help talk him into getting help sometimes they can really get through to a suicidal person better.

3rd if the police says theres nothing they can do unless he is a harm to himself or some1 tell them ok so now i have to wait for something to happen or say ok but if he goes on the deep-end and kills himself or some1 i hold yall countable for his actions(yes u can they were pre-warn of the matter)

last but not least pray and pray hard

hope this has shed some sunshine in that darken place of yours

Answer 3

dont be scared the only way for you to get thro to him is if you understand him im 13 and i had friends who where cutting themselves and i think if i can get them of of it you can just try to understand him see if he likes it if you try that ask him that question aand see what he says good luck dont doubt me just because im 13

Answer 4

If you love him, you will do what you have to do to protect him and that means calling the Mental Health Department or the Police and letting them know that you believe that he is a danger to himself, and get the 72 hour assessment done. He may not like it at all, but it may well be the wake up call he needs to get help before he does something that he can't undo. That is what you need to do for him.

Now to what you need to do for yourself. Get yourself some help too. If you aren't coping, turning to alcohol will only worsen the situation. You won't be of any help to him, or yourself, in a drunken stupor. If you love him, you will make sure that he has you to come home to, to help support him. And to do that you need to get the help too- help to cope, to be strong, to look after yourself. If he loves you too, he is going to want you well, to do what you need for yourself.  

Answer 5

Read this and IMMEDIATLY go to the phone and call 211This is a help line for everything.Tell them whats going on.They WILL take charge.If you do not have this service call the suicide and crisis help line.(call operator if you cant find#)Tell them every thing NOW.PLEASE do it NOW.Sweetie you BOTH are in crisis and if I could reach you I'd be there.E mail after you read this please.I need to know your BOTH ok.My Prayers are with you as I write you.J

Any one who reads this PLEASE encourage both to seek help NOW.Thanks,J

Answer 6

Not to scare you further, but statistically speaking, Once there has been a suicide in a family, the chance of it happening again is increased dramatically.  My son took his life 5 years ago.  His brother and sister are still reeling from the ordeal.  I would get some counseling for myself first to make sure you are in the best position to help him help himself.  Grief counseling really helped me sort things out after my son died.  Your husband needs to find a focus in his life.  If it isn't working, he needs to find a purpose to his life.  You might also want to call a suicide hotline for some advice.  Also, there should be a local SOS (survivor of suicide) chapter in your area that have regular meetings.  That also helped me.  Good luck with everything.  Sorry for all you are going through. Email me if you want to talk.

Answer 7

i understand what you are going thru i have been their before if you love him call the police and get him the help he needs what is the alternative he needs help fast i hope it hasn't been to late i am pleading make the call lets save a life and you get some help too god bless you and good luck

Answer 8

why are u depressed, he is the one who lost his brother, put it out on the table...how do you think his family would feel if he commited suicide?  do you think that is fair to you and to them?  the person who commits suicide is the coward, he's taking the easy way out.  you need help just as much as he does.  

Answer 9

You both need to start making plans on how to get out of your financial situations.  Get another job - and he can look for a few as well.  Talk to a financial counselor.  Get rid of the credit cards - try to consolidate as best as you can.  Everything is going to be okay.  Everybody goes through things.  Unfortunately, that's a part of life.  You both can get through this.  Do you have family nearby?  Ask for help - may even need to move in with family members until you can get back on your feet.  There are options - look for them.  But don't give up.

Answer 10

He is lucky to have someone like you that truly cares about him.  Don't give up, seek for help.  

Answer 11

contact your local mental health association

Answer 12

I would ask him if he wanted to speak with a theropist they seem to help. and for the whole suicide i would moniter him and if he makes any remarks or anything then i would get help like police whatever u need. he might get mad but would you rather him be alive and mad or dead. hate to be blunt but i gotta be honest... hope this helps

Answer 13

If you get some one to stay close by or even around the house while you are gone might ease your angst but i dont think i can help you but if you are worried that he is a danger to himself and the only way to help him is to get the police involved well... you might have to go down that road to make him better

Answer 14

YOUR HUSBAND NEED HELP HE NEEDS TO BE PUT IN A REHAB AND SOON OR YOU WILL FOUND HIM DEAD ONE DAY HE WILL REALLY DO IT GET THE HELP OR HAVE HIM COMMITED IF YOU LOVE HIM AND SAVE HIS LIFE GOOD LUCK

Answer 15

I am in the same situation as you - with my partner.  He is deeply depressed and at times suicidal.  Although unlike your husband, my partner talks all the time.  I pushed my partner to get help and eventually he did - he found a supportive doctor who placed him on medication (well - first he wanted to hospitalise him but my partner refused, despite my gentle prodding) and sees him every second week.

It is so hard at times - depression has changed him from a loving, happy and outgoing person into a morose and negative person who can't see the joy in anything.  He goes through phases where he wants to end it all, doesn't want me around, says I deserve better etc etc.  The important thing is NOT to take any of it personally.

I found it helpful to call Lifeline (I don't know where you are, but any depression helpline will be able to offer you some advice) to ask what I should or shouldn't be doing.  Also http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx? have some helpful advice for people with depression, and those who know people who are depressed.

If you get really concerned for your husband's wellbeing, do call the police and get him taken to hospital.  He may be mad and upset, but the bottom line is him being angry/upset is better than the alternative.

Some men find it hard to open up about how they're feeling - mine did at first but once he realised I wasn't going to judge or downplay how he was feeling, he was able to tell me everything.  He always talks honestly even if it's not what I want to hear.  We've spent many hours crying together.  You don't have to know the right things to say.  You just have to listen when he wants to talk.  You need to try and get your husband to talk.  Let him know how much he means to you and that all you want to do is help.

It's important for you to look after yourself too.  You might find it helpful to see your own doctor for some advice.  It can be really hard dealing with someone who has depression and the last thing you need is to fall in a heap.  You both need each other.

When you're depressed it's hard to feel motivated (like your husband, my partner is unemployed) to do anything - but try to get him out of the house.  Go out for a walk, go out for tea, movies, anything.  he won't feel like it at first, but will feel better when he does.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I wanted to help you as much as I could.  Look after yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

I wish you and your husband all the best.

By the way - my partner is on antidepressants too which aren't helping much, but there are many others to try.  Don't give up on them until you find something that works for him (remember that they can take up to a couple of months to work).

Answer 16

There are numerous emergency mental heath programs. Contact you local hospital and a request a number for the Emergency Mental Health Program. Also, Call the Suicide Prevention Hot-line. They have a lot of resources they can give you. They are also a national organization and they have information for most cities in the U.S. You may even have a local suicide prevention hot-line. They are all listed in the phone book or at 411.

Answer 17

I had a husband that would go through those phases that he'd say he wished he was dead, and one night acted on it right in front of me, with my son in his bedroom.  He was committed for evaluation for the mandatory 72 hours.  In no time at all, he started talking that way again, I acted like I was going outside to do something and called 911 and paramedics picked him up and committed him again.

I used his second time away to pack and leave before he was released.  I hate nightmares about how he tried to kill himself for months and months after I left... get him help before it is to late.

My heart goes out to you...