My husband is too demanding of s*x. Am I being unreasonable?

Question

My husband wants s*x. I don't want it, but I would resent him masturbating, and I forbid him from cheating. He says I'm being unreasonable.

I think he should just deal with it. What do you think?

Answer 1

My ex-marriage statred with my ex being like you.  She was self-righteous and militant for a long time (3 yeas or so).  Her beliefs boiled down to the idea that she had utter control in all maters sexual.

As the marriage went on, she became very demanding of s*x, both for her fulfilment (not mine) and she also wanted children.  She had engineered such resentment in me that the tables turned: I totally deprived her, because I had learned to cope without cheating or anything.  Then the pure and vile hypocrisy started "no man can deprive her wife of s*x", "All men want s*x, and here I am giving" and so on.

You are being both unreasonable and manipulative.  I guarantee that if you want s*x and HE says no, like I did in my marriage, you will not cope and will turn into a hypocrite.  What goes around comes around, and you will pay for your manipulation.

If you did not want s*x anyway, why get married?  I am also sure that is you ever do want s*x, only your gratification will matter.  Pure seflishness.  Do the honest thing for once: walk away from the mariage and make no claims against his estate of children *if there are any).

Answer 2

If this is a real question and you're not a troll (at least question-wise) I would advocate divorce for your husband.

But first, have you been checked by a physician to ensure you're not having a medical problem (hormones, vaginal pain, etc.)? Maybe you're having pain during intercourse and don't realize it. Or perhaps you just don't like him? Has been cruel, cheated on you, doesn't bathe, or some other valid reason for lack of intimacy? If it's something that can be discussed, do so with him first. If it's none of these and you just don't like s*x, give the man his freedom if he wants it. That's the only kind thing to do.

Good luck. ♥ ∞

Answer 3

Spoken like a true feminist. Show that patriarch that marriage doesn't entitle him to anything from you!

Answer 4

Nagging and badgering a person for s*x is a form of sexual harassment.  The venue doesn't matter.  The harassing behavior is the same.

If I thought this question was genuine I would suggest you find out why you're not interested in s*x.  Factors can include:

- depression

- exhaustion

- physical illness

- side effects of certain medications

etc. Once that was determined then the situation may be rectified.  But this isn't a serious question.

Answer 5

I think your husband will find a way to release his sexual energy regardless of what you forbid or resent. It will be bad for your relationship, but since you are not sexually attracted to him, maybe you'd both be better off finding mates who are compatible.

Answer 6

Oh he'll deal with it alright. But you might not like the deal.

Answer 7

Either let the guy m********e or else have s*x with him.  You can't have it both ways.  Guys have a higher s*x drive than women so we tend to get urges.

Marriage is a two person relationship not a "ALL ABOUT ME" one.

You need to compromise and stop acting unreasonable.

Answer 8

You sure arent offering the guy many options.

Reap what you sow.

Answer 9

I think you need to be on the receiving end of that whip--and often too.

Answer 10

Crack that whip..dununununu...liquorice whip!!

Answer 11

By the looks of your avatar, anyways, how much is too much s*x?

does he want it like 3 or 4 times in a roll, or just 3 or 4o times a day?

if it hurts your v****a, for him to have s*x with you a lot say 5 or 6 times a day or week depending on the person. try just masturbating him to completion, using oils and silk gloves and such or just some good oral s*x to save your v****a from getting too sore.

I hope that is not too much details.

or it may be another deeper psychological reason. how is your relationship over all. you may need consoling. he may be acting out due to other reasons then sexual. and using s*x as an out let. for something far more deeper.  

Answer 12

put the throttle on high

hugs!

Answer 13

There's not much to say here. I would divorce you.

Answer 14

Him just dealing with it is not an acceptable response. That'd be like telling you to just deal with it and open your legs for him whenever he wanted s*x.

I think you're being very unreasonable resenting his masturbation. I can certainly understand why you would forbid him cheating on you, but he needs some kind of release, and you're not giving him any sort of outlet. h**l, I get regular s*x and I still m********e like a 14-year-old.

Masturbation does only go so far, though. Sexual desire is a major compatibility issue. Eventually, it could lead to the relationship breaking down to the point where he does stray to fulfill his desires.

Is there some underlying reason why you don't want to have s*x with him? Is he doing/not doing something that's making him less sexually desirable to you? Is there some kind of medical/hormonal condition that's causing a low libido? Those are all issues that need exploring.

Answer 15

Yes I think you are being unreasonable. If you resent him masturbating in addition to a lack of s*x on your part, I can see why he'd be frustrated.

Answer 16

I think he should divorce you - as you are too demanding over him.

You are using s*x as a control.

Answer 17

I think you are being a little unreasonable. At least let him have fun with the rosy palm, cause at least he's not cheating!

Answer 18

Assuming this is a real situation, you are being unreasonable. If you're not willing to meet his physical needs, let him take care of himself or divorce him so he can find someone else.

Answer 19

You should have been a nun.

Your poor husband.

Answer 20

we always want it, all the time, its normal for guys to want to have s*x alot more then there partners, either have s*x or let him m********e its hard not too

Answer 21

If this were a real situation, I think I would advocate divorce - sexuality, inasmuch as anything else in a marriage, is a compatibility issue, and if the compatibility is impossible, then one shouldn't try to force the marriage to work.

Using sexual compatibility issues to justify infidelity, of course, is pathetic.

Answer 22

You forbid your husband to cheat on you? Isn't that suppose to be a given?

Tell your husband that if he wants s*x he should do what it takes to make you want it too.

If he doesn't, you're not getting what you want sexually out of the marriage either.

Answer 23

I think that you are highly unreasonable. What's wrong with s*x? Just give him some s*x... it's not much to ask for.