My husband is too nice?

Question

I have a very sweet husband who lets me do anything that I want. If I want to get off work and go STRAIGHT to bed with popcorn and a movie he will not only encourage me but will join me (if I want him to.) He lets me make all the decisions of where we go, what we spend our money on, what we watch on TV, where we go out to eat...you name it, he lets me decide. He gets me anything I want...He jumps when I say how high, basically. The problem? I don't want to decide. I don't want to be in control. Perhaps it is because I grew up with a controlling Dad---but I want someone to keep ME in check. I want my husband to tell ME what we are watching/eating/buying from time to time. I don't like being in control...and I find myself being unhappy with him because of this...There are your "good guys" and then there's my husband..."Whatever you say" is getting old. How would you tell him this? It's been this way for 4 years now.

Answer 1

Girl you've got it made....I don;t see what you complaining about..You want him to slap you around a little and call you names?

Answer 2

communication, communication, communication!!! You have to tell him how you feel!!! One of my ex husbands biggest complaints was that I thought he was a mind reader. Men are not women. They don't always pick up on the hints we so often drop around the house. Just tell him you feel as if your the only one in the relationship. You want to enjoy the partnership of marriage and equality. If you wanted to call every shot in your life, finances, and everything else you could've stayed single! Tell him how much you love him, which includes his mind, thoughts, and opinions, so let's start seeing some of it!!! Good luck!

Answer 3

lets trade because my husband's an a** hole!

he'll keep you in check don't worry!

Answer 4

Okay. I know how you feel. It gets to feel like a burden to always be the one who decides. I guess the question is if you feel like you do mean things or abuse him and wish he helped you be better by not putting up with it. There's nothing like that in what you wrote.

He may well be just an easy going guy who is perfectly happy to be with you and really doesn't case much what he eats or watches or where you go for entertainment. Is it that you feel like if you didn't bring it up, you wouldn't go anywhere or do anything? That is sort of a problem. But you're not likely to change him.

And that means that you have two choices. You can let it work on you and spoil the relationship. Or you can work at just learning to take it as just a difference between you two and take it with a sense of humor. It's really not that bad a deal. The bad part is how you feel about it, and you really do get to decide how it affects you.

But first, you do need to talk to him about it. Tell him it's really starting to bother you. He might have some insight into why he just goes with your wishes. But definitely get you dear old dad out of the picture. If you were in danger of becoming like him, you wouldn't be posting this. You've given everyone here a laugh. Get one for yourself.  

Answer 5

Stop calling the shots and leave it up to him. Let him pick the place, the food, the movie, etc.

Answer 6

you've got it good.  so just sit tight and give him a chance to start making some decisions. you might think you like a "take charge" kind of guy, but in the end, you will probably really hate being with someone who calls all the shots.

what you can do is let him make some decisions, like movie A or movie B.

i think you are sweating this issue too much.  also the longer you are together, the more likely he will go ahead and make a lot of decisions for you and "the family" if you have kids or whatever.  this is just a temporary thing.  and apparently you aren't doing anything too terrible that he needs to keep you "in check".  

Answer 7

I think you should leave him immediately. You know there are some many lonely men in prison who beat, raped and or killed there wife/girlfriends. Im not sure if they have a website to set up a date but Im sure you can call the prisons and set something up.

Boy that saying "the grass is greener on the other side" is true isnt it.

Oh wait, your serious. Why dont you try talking to him. Let him know your ready to leave him for this. But be prepared cause when he changes and you say "your not the man i married" to him I dont want to see you post a question on yahoo about how you get him back.

Good Luck

Im sorry for being so sarcastic about this. Truth be told that would be a little irritating. I do however think you should talk to him about this. I think he's just being really respectful but your right sometimes he needs to voice his opinion. Tell him whats going on. The biggest problem me and my ex had was she would never communicate what was going on with her. Notice I said ex. You need to have this talk before you feel like you have no choice but to leave.

Good luck Sweetie

Answer 8

Wow after 4 years hes still kissing your butt? Sounds like kind of a p***y, isnt that why you married him though?

Answer 9

Well he's definitely whipped.

Answer 10

It's ironic. Women want a nice guy, but when they find one they complain like dog. Be happy with your husband.

Answer 11

sounds to me like you got it made...and are simply trying to find anything to whine about....get off your high horse and thank GOD for the wonderful man he gave you....

some people just don't know when they got it good.

Answer 12

damned if you do, damned if you dont...

Answer 13

I know what you're saying!! My husband is too nice too!!! It drives me crazy but i guess its better then being married to a control freak- alcoholic- cheater!! Count your blessing and look at all the things he does right! I bet there are more right then wrong!!! :)

Answer 14

Next time he asks you "what do you want to do" just tell him "whatever you want to do."   When your talking about going out, say "where do you want to go."  When all else fails, tell him you do not want to decide anything right now and would really love to do what it is he wants to do.  Even if it means getting naked together.

Answer 15

I feel ya, you want to feel like he he has a little control. WHen now it seems like he is a little p***y. Well that is all nice and stuff but he needs to be a man. Tell him that you need him to start helping with makeing decisions. I know I have been there and I get pissed sometimes. It will wear you out just trying to make all of the decisions. goddluck

Answer 16

omg i want one of them you got, my husbands a selfish idiot. you got it made girl! try living with my bloke hes as much use as **** on a fish, cold as ice and only every wants to talk and do what he wants to do, we gotta swap plezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeee

Answer 17

You need to have a serious talk with him.

Express your feelings and try to help him understand that you appreciate how considerate he is toward you but, you would really like for him to make certain decisions. Tell him that marriage is not a one way street, and you would like him to make the choices once and a while. He probably feels that you like the control.

Help him to understand that you want him to start making some decisions. You need a two-sided relationship.

Answer 18

First of all, you knew he was this way before you married him.  DEAL WITH IT.  This is not a REAL problem.  Divorce him so he can find him a woman that will appreciate him because you do not.

Answer 19

Your married to a wimp/ push over i bet he's not to studly in bed either i wouls stop making decisions start off small with little things like where you are going out to eat and things of that nature bet you find he's really boring my guess is you really are unhappy in this marriage he better hope a real man doesn't start showing you attention you may be tempted.