My husband is very unsupportive when I am pregnant....?

Question

i am now 6 wks preggo with baby number 2 and our son is now getting ready to turn 11 months on aug 28th. i am now going thru the tired stage LOL. i have no problem keeping up with my son but when it comes time to when my huby comes home i kinda want to wind down and relax so why cant he take over?

he thinks bc he works at a desk job all day talking on phones and ordering parts on the computer he gets dinner when he gets home... sits on the toilet for an hour! ... drinks beer... and then sits on the computer playing video games until midnight.

so wait a second how is this fair?

i love everything about being a stay at home mom and have no problem doing it all i guess u can say but just when i am pregnant i would like a little help bc i have no control of how my body is going to feel every hour ya know.

all i am asking for is to rest for 15 min... but he thinks i shouldn't need to rest bc i am home all day.

how can i make him understand i can not help what i am going thru?

once i have baby number 2 i wont mind being sleep deprived bc hey at least i will know why LOL... its not bc i am growing a human inside of me like now!

Answer 1

I'm in the same situation. I am a stay at home mom. I have a 3 yr old. And I do everything around the house. He works 12 hours a day and I understand that but on his days off I really need some help. I tell him that the pregnancy's what making me so weak and tired all the time. Before I was pregnant I would clean and cook everyday but ever since I've benn pregnant I can't do any of those things EVERYDAY! He tells me that I blame everything on the pregnancy and I get so mad because I wish he knew how hard it is to be tired and not be able to do certain things! And my son is so active so I can't take naps during the day even if I try he keeps waking me up. I tell him to try to understand what I'm going through. I think talking to him about it so much works though because lately he does help me around the house and if he sees me doing it he tells me to leave it that he'll do it. Try talking to him and explain everything that is going on. Tell him calmed and serious and maybe he'll really understand you and help out more especially when you already have a baby at home and being pregnant with a baby makes it even harder. GOOD LUCK!! and congrats on your pregnancy!!

Answer 2

That is total BS what your husband is doing. Or should I say NOT doing. It's not fair at all and this shouldn't have to go on even after you have the baby. He needs to understand that the two of you made these babies and the two of you need to take part in parenting. Why do you have to do ALL of the work? Being a stay-at-home mom is more of a difficult job than his job. Ya know what? My husband is in the Army and is fixing to deploy AGAIN for the second time. He will not be able to see or really talk that much to our two kids much less me. He has a job where he could be killed. He has a job where he has to take a gun to work ever d**n day. Does your husband have to do any of that? NO! But ya know what? He makes time while he's here and doing all this bull c**p work to spend time with the kids and myself. If your husband thinks for a second that he had a rough day at work, then he should try living in your shoes for a day. Or maybe he should try to imagine not being able to see his wife or kids for 1 year to a year and a half. I think you should have your husband read this and hope that he'll get of his a** and helps you out for once. This is very unacceptable.  

Answer 3

Go somewhere for an entire day on one of his days off and have him watch your son?

lol, that was all I could think of, sorry.

If you find any answers that work, please let me know. I'm having the same problem with my boyfriend - just replace watching a child all day with trying to work while pregnant. ;]

Answer 4

Men don't understand how we are feeling because they have never felt it and they never will...

I have to literally explain step by step what my body is feeling to my hubby for him to slightly understand. He helps a little but not really enough. This is also my first baby so every little thing worries me, lol, but it doesn't seem to phase him. It's like they think we are robots who can do everything with no loss of energy.

I asked the nurse why I was feeling so tired and like I had no energy and she explained it like this...

"Everything that you need to function in everyday life is what your baby needs to grow! Your baby is taking everything it needs to grow, not leaving you with much to get thru the day!"

I said that to hubby and he seemed to understand a little better but I could still use a little more help! I work full-time and he still expects me to keep the house clean, cook, etc. Since I have morning sickness I have not cooked because I can't stand the smell so he is on his own with that. Good luck to you, hope your hubby helps you!

Answer 5

You need to have a serious talk with him my husband deals with customers all, moves appl.,furniture,etc all day, and work about 11 hours a day, and he comes home and he'll take over the nightly duty of helping put my 6 y/o daughter to bed{by the time he gets home it's her bed time}. He does all that just to let me relax and my daughter isn't his. You need to tell him how stressful raising a child can be. And tell him you might be a sahm but you need time to relax too. Speacially with chasing a toddler all day. Good luck

Answer 6

Get him one of those fake pregnancy belly things, have him stay home for one day and do everything you do and see if he feels like having supper ready on the table at 5:30pm!!!  Then maybe he will appreciate how very hard your job is!  Good luck!

Answer 7

I like the first answer... make him walk a mile in your shoes.  Make him watch your son for even just a few hours while you go run some errands, or even to just take a nap.  Demand it!!  Make him see how hard you actually work during the day.  Then talk to him about this again after he sees what you do every day.  I bet he won't throw the fact that you "don't work" in your face again!!  Good luck!