My husband left me while I was pregnant with our third?

Question

his girlfriend is 18 and pregnant also! He will not divorce me. I have a good job and pay for everything. While his girlfriend sits on her *** and does nothing! He supports her and not us. He also states that her parents know that he is married and they don't care!! I love my husband very much and I would like it if he would come back to his family. I am willing to forgive and forget what has happened. If this child is his I will support him and move on. I understand that this gal will be in our lives forever if the child is his. I am at a lose, I don't know what to do!! Any suggests would be much appreciated. Thank you for your help...

Answer 1

if u divorced him he would have to pay u child support. why would u take a cheater back?at first u may think u could forgive and forget it, but as the years go on it will effect u.the kindest thing u could do for yourself is to divorce him, because he's a cheater, why invest more into it, why be second to this other woman. stop paying everything, sue him for child support and at least get that. your dignity and self worth are more important then getting him back.because even when he comes back u will still have a constant reminder of his betrayal. this woman and child will be in his life forever, why suffer and be humiliated any more then whats already been done to u.

Answer 2

Hun, why would u put yourself through all that, i mean the man obviously do not want to be with you, if he did, he would've stayed w/u, but i understand the fact that u are pregnant, and all women when they're pregnant, they want that security of knowing that their men is right there with them, but hun, if the man is living with the gf, and is not supporting you in any way, then don't waste your time on him, u are not the first or the last woman on earth that will be w/child and do not have the child's father in your life, it happens hun, u shouldn't have to put up with his infidelity all for the sake of being with him for the child.

Answer 3

Are you insane?  Why are women so willing to put up with such dirt bags.  You need to have a back bone.  Grow a spine!  Have some self worth.  

Answer 4

I really feel for you because i have been cheated on and i know the pain and helplessness you probably feel. I don't think its impossible for you and your husband to continue your marriage, but its probably not realistic. Especially if, after he has hurt and betrayed you, he doesn't have the decency or respect for you to admit his mistakes and stand beside you as a husband and father to your three children. He supports her and not you? That is insult to injury. Sometimes, the best thing a woman can do is be selfish. Sometimes you have to fight for yourself. Imagine he was the husband of your daughter/sister/best friend.  What would you advise? Its going to be incredibly painful, and its going to hurt for a long time, but you will come out on the other side of this eventually. When you do, i hope you are happy with the decisions you made. Good luck.

Answer 5

This isn't a fixable problem.... you husband has no moral fiber, and you are "desperation time" in his eyes.  He has no regard for the children he produces, and any lady who become preggers with a married man is no lady, and has no moral fiber herself... a child is simply a way to trap a man---any man.  In this case, your husband.

And the only ones who really pay, are the children

Hon, you picked a true jerk.

I don't have a cure for this--- no one does, not even the best counselor on the planet.

Personally, I just feel sorry for all the children involved here... they are plopped into a disfunctional mess, and they never asked to be born.

All YOU can do is be the best mom on the planet to your children  And perhaps get a session or two to help you figure out why you are so needy........(And just as an aside, it would be beyond most women to take any guy like this one back.... how ever would you get over the "eeeeeeewwwwwwwwww" factor?)

Answer 6

That's is so sad.  How could he leave you and your children?  He sounds really selfish and heartless.  Are you sure you want this guy back?  He has really let you down at a time when you need him the most.  You sound like you could do so much better and I'm sure you don't deserve this kind of treatment.  

Regardless of how much money you make, he's still responsible to pay child support.  I'd get right on that one if I was you.  Hit him in the wallet!   He is responsible for the children he has with you and you shouldn't allow him to let your children down the way he let you down.   He is their father as well and he needs to be held accountable.  Something tells me if he's ordered to pay child support for three children he'll probably return to you (if only to get out of paying), but at least you'll have the louse back.  

Get counseling as soon as you can.  You've been wronged and you need help getting your bearings.  You have so many more options.  You just can't see them now.  

Answer 7

This is so SIMPLE!

Your husband doesn't care what he does and how it affects you and the family he has built with you.

He may tell you this girl's parents don't care - trust me they do, but they are expecting him to take care of his business, and that's paying up for his indiscretion with their daughter.

Meanwhile, you'll be conducing his behaviour by giving him NO consequences.  

While your kids observe that you condone what he has done and is doing, you set your kids up for great trouble in their future lives.  You have no idea what mess your building for yourself and your kids' future.

What a messed up life you're choosing.

I'd take my kids and run...while they're still young, he has to support them too.  You're an independent woman who works and has an income for goodness sakes!

Why do need this to work?  It won't! Ever.  Not as long as you say, you'll forgive and forget.  You can't forget a child, nor a second lover/wife.

This is short of polygamy - only because they're not married.

Answer 8

You don't need this guy for anything but child support—which you totally deserve for the baby. Even if you don't need the money now, you might later, and you can always save it for the child's college education. Stop being sentimental. This is his true character. Get a lawyer and move on with your life.  

Answer 9

My only advise to you is...Demand more for yourself, have some self respect.  You deserve better than a man that would do this to you and not support the children he helped you bring into this world.  Not much of a role model for his children...is he?

Answer 10

You have a good job and pay for everything.

LEAVE HIM!

Why would you want to stay with someone who has treated you this way?

Whats next? He gets a cheerleading squad pregnant? Are you ok with that?

Draw the line...he cheated, and left you, with kids.

Move on! You are better than this!

Answer 11

Leave that *** hole!!! Don't let him hold you down. You sound smart, especially if you have your own job. Just move on, honey, let him be with his 18 year old w***e.

Remember, what goes around, comes around. He'll get what he deserves.

Answer 12

Wake-up he is a pig you file for divorce and take him to the cleaners and file for full custody and tell him to go to h**l.  Come on do you really want these kids growing up knowing they have a half sister from their dad's affair.  You need to end this it appears he would rather be with this teenager then you.  Wait for the kid to be born get a paternity test if it is not his tell this girl to leave you guys alone and maybe work at making this marriage succeed if it is his though maybe it would be best to let him go if he wants to stay with this other girl.  Why let him have his cake and eat it too.  He deserves to be alone and miserable along with the rest of these cheating players with no respect.

Answer 13

Please tell me that you think more of your self than to settle for this kind of treatment? This man is taking full advantage of you and how could you love him? Get rid of this man. You would be better off by yourself with the kids than putting up with this mans c**p. Don't put your kids through this kind of thing. It is not fair to them or to you. You deserve way better. Get him out of your life and find a man who appreciates a good family and is there for you all the time.

Answer 14

This is a tough situation...just because you love your husband very much...when we love we are blind and we don't see reality, we forgive and forget and try to move on even though something is telling us not to...but when we are in a relationship we will never be sure of what the other person wants...if you are sure you guys are on the same page, and the he wants to come back to your family....and work it out give it a try, but if he wants to be with this girl...don't force it...your are doing fine now and at the end you and  your kids will be good...

Good Luck....

Answer 15

Why would you take someone like that back? I understand that he is your husband, but wake up and do what's best for your children. Get an attorney and divorce him, asap.

Answer 16

Get a GOOD family law attorney. You shouldn't have any problem getting a divorce. My daughter is going through a similar situation and she's finally realized that her ex husband doesn't and never has loved her.

I don't know how you could love someone who treated you AND your child so poorly. You both deserve better than this sperm donor.