My husband lie about small stuff all the time I confront him today & he promised he is going to stop?

Question

HOW DO I TRUST HIM AGAIN? We are both young I'm 28, he's 27. Should I leave him for lying about small stuff? Married 4 years, together for 7 years. Please help me.

Answer 1

My husband does that all the time.  Never big stuff.  Just stupid $hit.  Some people are chronic liars, some people are scared of their girlfriends so they lie about ridiculous things, some people really do have bad intentions.  My husband has a very shady past with lots of drug abuse & prison time so he's been lying to people & cops his whole life.  It's almost like second nature.  He doesn't even know what's going to come out of his mouth sometimes.  It's just instinct for him.  Of course it's wrong but do you really want to leave him if this can be worked out?  Trust is a very important thing in a relationship but if he's willing to work on it I think you should still give him a shot.  Find out what the root of the problem is.  Ask him exactly why & maybe you can correct it together.

Answer 2

my current room mate..and ex....who i feel is my SO....is the same way...men always exaggerate things..and dont see those little white lies as being threatening....but what they dont realize is that that builds up in a woman and eventually leads to lack of trust and possible ruin of the future...you hav been together for too long to just break it off.

what exactly is he lying about...if its little things....its not big deal...men are like kids..they exaggerate for effect...now if he was lying about big things like where he goes at  nite..or something then i would worry...

Answer 3

I wish I had some magically cure for you. I used to be in a relationship just like yours and had to end it because I just COULD NOT trust him. In the beginning it was one or two things, but in the end I never believed him about a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. And not just things that had to do with women, anything and everything I didn't believe. It got so bad I had to leave.. I suggest counseling first, before you throw in the towel...However, please remember that if you are only staying with him because you've been married for 4 and together for 7, s***w that. Look at people like Dr. Phil and his wife, married 30 years and called it quits. Life is WAY too short my dear to spend your days being anything by blissfully happy. Good luck and follow your heart.

Answer 4

How important is the small stuff? Do you trust him? That's the bottom line. You could try professional counseling.

Answer 5

Lies are lies they can go from small to very big.  I suggest that you give him an ultimatum its either he stops lying or hes gone.  If he is a habitual liar, its never going to stop!  and you dont want to live around lies for years to come.  Get it straight NOW!

Answer 6

Looking at this from another side...

Sometimes good people lie when the relationship doesn't allow them to be honest. If he is frequently punished in some subtle way or has to pay a price for telling you the truth, he may eventually learn that it's just not worth it. If you really want the truth, you need to make him believe that you are receptive to the truth. The 5th Amendment applies to relationships too. ;-)

Another possibility is that he is trying to spare your feelings by not telling you things that may cause you distress.  Of course, it's wrong, but if you want that to change that you need to convince him.

Changing a person is not easy. If you want to salvage the relationship you need to make him believe that the truth is always the best policy.  If you aren't willing to put in that effort, then the only choices are to leave or put up with this vice.

Answer 7

What type of "small stuff" does he lie about?

Answer 8

no

Answer 9

Here's a tip for you: given that he so frequently lies, don't be all shocked when (not if) he breaks his promise.

The answer is, you do not trust him again.  If you see his lips moving, that's how you'll know he's lying.  Behave accordingly.

Answer 10

in my opinion, if he is lying about little stuff he is hiding bigger stuff. you cant have a relationship with someone you cant trust. and at 27 most of these men are are way too immature to trust anyway. women always mature faster than boys. and honey you cant change him and he wont change for at least another 10 years. if you stay with him prepare to keep catching the lies when you've had enough you know what to do. watch his hands when he talks to you. if he uses his left hand alot he is lying especially if he touches his face with left hand etc. then you can judge for yourself.

Answer 11

mine lies about everything - whether its of any importance or not and

10 mins later lies and says he never said it. some are big things but

most are things you don't need to lie about. they are not to impress

or anything like that. things like " i'm just going through so and so

on the bus" but he comes home by train (drops ticket) - etc etc.

trouble is and this is trouble i never ever now know whether to believe

him about anything -  trivial or major - i think its and illness and

sometimes they just don't know they are doing it - i get the: i'll never lie again , for at least 1 day. lies are so silly i find loads out - but what else is there that i don't know he's lying about. its going to finish our

marriage - i love him to bits but live in a state of confusion.

good luck but even before reading this i was thinking about it - i'm  going to have to divorce him - it will drive me mad otherwise.

Answer 12

h**l no you dont leave him for that.. Everyone lies at one time or another.  let it slide, unless you dont really care about him.  

Hold on as long as you can!  

Answer 13

if he lies about small things, then dont you wonder about the "big" things

Answer 14

He won't stop. What he needs is help. Cause like a drug its a disease. Trust me I should know. I was a compulsive liar. Until I got help.  

Answer 15

you should inform him that you feel he is violating his marriage contract.  if he keeps it up, file for divorce.