My husband lost the spark how to get it back?

Question

I have gained alot of weight he says my weight does not bother him but the spark has left. I lay in his arms he will hold me once in a while but lots of times I need to put hus arm around me. I have been VERY depressed and he has only asked me what was wrong when I clearly have told im over and over what is wrong but when he asks its like there is no emotion there he has not sat by me today.

flowers, romantic music ect is a thing of the past.

a few days ago I put makeup on. took rose petals layed them on the floor and made a heart out of them put on his fave s**y things I used to wear and lit candles as well as played our song we danced to at our wedding the only thing he said to me is looks like you have makeup on.

he never has said I was beutiful ever

He said he married me due to my personlity

I give him compliments from time to time and do things for him allways he cleans the house and works

maybea its all in my head

Answer 1

well all i can say is that your guy loves you and ofcourse he wont tell you that you being fat is a turn off because he knows it will upset you and you`ll probably end up fighting or something.

I think you both should change your every day same old lame things you both do and be spontaneous. try new things even if you don`t like them.

btw...didn`t meen to be rude with the fat thing...

Answer 2

No this is not just in your head. Listen, having sparks for someone and loving someone is totally different. Sparks is the passion and the butterflies in your stomach. Love is the understanding, respect, loyalty and affection. When couples lose their sparks doesn´t mean they´ve lost the love. But you should ask your husband more questions than you have because he doesn´t just seem to have lost the sparks. I´m not saying he´s lost the love for you, but you need a real talk with him about this. Plus it´s not fair to you be treated this way. You seem to be a very loving wife and if he doesn´t appreciate it, he´s been unfair and rude to you.

Choose a good place to talk, some place quiet, at night and when you´re both as alert as possible. Don´t chose moments like dinner, or it´ll ruin it, or laying in bed when he´s about to sleep. These moments are very important to be chosen correctly or it´ll ruin the conversation you´re trying to get through, and especially what you´re feeling.

He needs to open up and respond to his attitudes. Remind him that although you believe in marriage for life, and you´ll do anything for him, you also deserve to be happy as an individual. Don´t threatned him but is like what they say...please your husband, don´t lie that you´ve got a headache. The other woman would just take an aspirin...

Answer 3

dont try so hard. just be yourself...!

xoxoxo,

- <3

Answer 4

Whoa!

There is something really eating at your husband, and I think it is more that just a bit of a weight gain.

Are you depressed because of what is going on or is what is goin on depressing you?

yo need to find the root cause. In the meantime, I am going to suggest an exercise program.

Not just to lose weight, but exercising releases endorphans and it will help givbe you a better persepctive of your life.

Whatever you do, there is something that is depressing HIM to no end, but he will not address it

Answer 5

he said its your personality theres something wrong there don't you think if he really loves you the weight should not matter can you try marriage counseling if not then sit him down and really tell him that this serious how you feel and that you need a solution to your problem talk about it keep talking if he doesn't want to listen and if it gets worse write a letter to him maybe if he sees it on paper it will click then

Answer 6

I know there is a part of us that thinks our men should not care what we look like, he should love us for us, but I do think men's sexuality is tied so much into physical appearances that he might be having a hard time getting turned on, depending on how much weight you've gained.  I am not trying to be mean; I am speaking from experience.  I really feel my husband loves me, but he is just not very attracted to me if I am too heavy.  

That said, it might not even be related to your weight.  Some men actually find "curvier" women more attractive.  He could be depressed, tired, etc.   Also, the stuff you did to be romantic, honestly, I think women are more into rose petals and such than men.  Try to think about what a MAN will find s**y--comes home to you in lingerie, holding a cold beer for him, p**n on the t.v.  :-)