My husband says he will divorce me if I...?

Question

I have had a really bad year, I lost my dad, my grandmother and a close friend, on top of that my teenage kids have been really hard to deal with and I need a break, I have a friend in Hawii who will by me a plane ticket to come there and get a break, my kids dad said he would keep them for me to go and my husband cant get off work and even if he could we dont have the money for another plane ticket, He says he will divorce me if I go what should I do

Answer 1

He sounds like a prick. What does he have against this friend? Is this a male friend?

Answer 2

If that's all it will take for him to divorce you, then I think you've got bigger issues. Is the "friend" a female?  

Answer 3

I agree that you need a break.  I think your husband might also need a break.  He might not be able to get the time off from work for a long vacation but is it possible that he could take a day off for a 3 day weekend and just you two get away for some much needed nurturing and reconnecting?  I mean with all of that happening in your life it doesn't sound like he has had much attention either.  I suggest you two get away together.  Make an agreement before going that you won't talk about kids, home and stresses.  Use the time to reconnect. The long term positive affects of you and him getting away seem to out weigh the possible negative affects of going to Hawaii.  Wish you the best!

Answer 4

i don't know mabey u need to go life is already hard with out the extra confusion i would but if u leave over this in if he has to place  some so small like that in try your marriage on that mabey u should have marriage him u should have marriages the strong in steady guy rather than the guy that hot in fast in some what seams stable  

Answer 5

Is this friend in Hawaii a Man? lol.. sounds petty to divorce a wife over needing a break.. perhaps he feels left out... IS this trip worth divorcing him over?  Sounds like there is more to this than that..  

Answer 6

your husband is a jackass! do what you want if he divorces you over that you didnt need him anyway  

Answer 7

That seems a little extreme. I think there are other circumstances that need to be explained. for one, does your husband trust your friend? is there a history of cheating in the r/ship?

I want to say your husband is in the wrong, but until we understand the entire situation it is difficult to provide advise.  

Answer 8

I think if u went for a week, 2 weeks tops, it might b ok.  I'm not sure how long u mean by "break".  If u staying any longer than that, it may b hard on ur kids. Even though they may b hard to deal with, they still need you.  Talk to ur husband again.  If u aren't gone for an extended time, it might be ok. When u talk to him, try to find out why he does not want u to go.  Does he not trust u or what? Maybe if u get to the real reason he doesn't want u to go,that will help u make ur decision.

Answer 9

wtf is wrong with your husband you deserve a break! you have gone thru a lot ! and if he doesn't understand what you need you should talk to him. if he still doesn't understand you just go because this can affect your health! good luck sweetie and sorry for all your lost!

Answer 10

GO!

Answer 11

If the friend in HW is a man then I agree with your husband. If it is a straight female and then he sounds a bit controlling. Talk with him and see what the real problem is.  

Answer 12

Okay, sweetie. I have been in your shoes. So listen. He does love you, but he must trust you. Trust is crucial in any relationship. Even if you hadn't had such a difficult year, he should be proud that you have the opportunity to see your friend, and in Hawaii at that. Be as respectful as you can. Try to get him to understand your need for this trip. A break. Just getting away. Let him know that you aren't trying to get away from him, because you obviously love him. You would be worried about how he feels if you didn't. Let him know that he is your rock, and always will be. Then explain that this is an opportunity that you really don't wont to pass up, but that you don't wont it to make him feel as though you are abandoning him. Reitirate your sincere love for him, and then explain that you need this.  Tell him it would be nicer with his support, but that you really need this trip.  He may be a liitle hurt, because you don't need him there, but he will be fine. Men love to feel needed, so help him understand how he is helping by letting you go without giving you to much difficulty. Good luck and keep me posted.

Answer 13

Does your husband have any reason not to trust you ... If the answer is no ... tell him to get over it . Sounds like he has a need to control you. And insecurity makes him look foolish.

Answer 14

Your husband is being a jerk and acting like a baby.  He is a very selfish person.  You should go and tell him to go ahead and divorce you, thanks a lot for all your support!  Bye!

Answer 15

I would GO!

How would he feel if it was him in this situation. Everyone needs a break every now and then. He should be more understanding

Answer 16

And so how's flying to Hawaii to see a friend (male or female....you seemed to have left out this rather imporatnt part of the puzzle) going to get your teenage kid's heads on straight?

Look...sorry you had a tough year. mine wasn't any better but flying off to tropical climes will not make anything better. You still have h**l to deal with when you come back.

I'd say hubby has a legit argument here. And as you haven't mentioned if your friend in hawaii is male or female I suspect male based upon hubby's reaction.