My husband tells me he loves me but he always wants to be deployed?

Question

My husband tells me he loves me all the time... but he always wants to be deployed. Its like he gets happy when he leaves. And then he will leave and call me for a while and email and then all of a sudden i will not hear from him until he gets back. He then claims he lost his phone, which i don't doubt because he always does... but he should be able to get in touch with me right? He works nights and some days he doesn't come home... he stays with his friends. I'm not worried about him cheating on me because he's too shy and I just know he's not.... but i want to know why he wants to spend so much time with his friends and never any with me. Can anyone help? I think me worrying is pushing him further away...

Answer 1

In my opinion, he wanting to be with his friends more is a red flag.  How long have you been married?  You need to talk to him, tell him how you feel about it and stop this not coming home business.  There is no excuse for a married man not to come home.  I have been where you are and if you let it continue, it will only get worse.  Good Luck.

Answer 2

Heck no. I am in the military also, and seeing how u say "work on his birds to be rdy to fly" meaning helicopters right? I work on OH-58D(R) helicopters in the Army and there is no reason why he should not come home at night. Absolutely no reason. The military does not deprive you of your family at all when your back at home. You need to have a serious talk with him about spending the little precious time you have together.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, he sounds immature.  You two need to have a talk to find out what's going on in order to resolve the situation.  Ask him all of the questions that you are asking us.

Answer 4

you need to get talking with him, openly, honestly, without anger, TALK ,