My husband tells me something else than his friends,what should I do?

Question

My husband and I had to move in to my mother-in-law house.It was suppose to be temporary until he finds a better job but he can't so we are stuck with her and I am not too happy about it cause she doesn't like me.Few days ago I told him that I hate the situation we are in and I don't know how much longer I can take it.He was quite understanding,had cheered me up but later that day I checked his messages(had a good reason)and find out that he was very mad at me and told his friend that I was a noose around his neck and he wouldn't mind if I would left him!Should I tell him I've red the messages or keep my mouth shut and pretend everything is ok like he does?

Answer 1

Theres a few issues there - trust for one thing - on both ends.  Either he didn't trust you enough to tell you his real feelings, or he is trying to act "cool" to his friends.  You didn't trust him because you checked his messages...  However, you can't have a thing like this come between you, so don't just not say anything.  Confront him - nicely - about it and just say "hey I'd appreciate the respect of you telling me how you feel since I told you how I feel"  

It might also be that the whole situation is putting you both on edge and you need to get out from under it.  Can you get a job or do you have one?  Is it possible for you to move in with someone for a little bit until he gets a job and you can both move back in together?

It really is best to communicate and keep things open. If you just subdue it, things start to build up and then you have worse problems.

Good luck with whatever happens - I'm sad for you :(

Answer 2

No! No! No! He make clever talk with friend to get job news. He talk bad you because friend like bad women talk. Good for you. Good for husband. Very clever!  

Answer 3

You need to talk, NOW! I don't care about the reason you checked his messages, the problem is bigger then that. Go stay elsewhere until you guys decide what's best for the both of you.

Answer 4

To Rapscallion Account #2, how are "women like her" worthless?  You don't even have a clue who she is or anything so stop acting like you know her.    I don't know what exactly you are saying Rapscallion Account #2, but I am guessing that you are calling her worthless because you assume she doesn't work and has a man that is willing to support her the best way he can.  I am sorry that you feel a person MUST work and see no meaning in any other kind of life because people can be greedy b******s.  It's not up to you... if a woman (or man) decides not to work and their partner agrees to this, who really gives a flying f*ck... it's what they chose.

Answer 5

how much does he mean to you? ask yourself that!

ppl dont always mean what they say.. but thats not fun to read..

take a step back.. and youll know what the right thing to do is..

Answer 6

I think you should keep it to yourself.  He has the right to vent to his friend.  He's probably tired of hearing how unhappy your are with the setup.  Since you are so frustrated with your situation, why not help your husband out and find a job of your own so you can both have enough money to have a place of your own.   Problem solved.

Answer 7

You should keep the messages you RED  . . . LOL to yourself.  Go get a job, get a car, get a life & MOVE if you don't like it.  I'm sure your mother in law is NONE too thrilled herself to have a mooching son & a wife who can't even be bothered to pay their own rent.

Answer 8

I wouldn't tell him.  Sounds like he was venting and wanted to cheer you up and not let on that he was going crazy too.  I am sure there are times that you have said things to family and/or friends about him when you were upset.  Maybe you two can sit down together and find a solution together instead of one waiting for the other to resolve it.  

Answer 9

First of all, you should have not been snooping in his messages.  Even though you are married, each one of you have a right to privacy.  It would probably not be in your best interest to say anything.  Find the right moment to call him out without him realizing. it.  Any type of situation like that living with  in laws is stressful because you feel out of place.   You have to remember that you are the outsider and usually they side with family in most cases.  He's probably more frusterated at himself than at you.  If it bothers you this bad, talk to him about it and call him out.  See how he reacts, you have to be strong if its the answer you dont want to hear.  Good luck  

Answer 10

re: pretend everything is ok like he does?

......get your communications straightened out soon's possible so you are living with trust and respect - not 'pretending' and other kinds of stupid miscommunications.

Be like best friends!  If you don't know how to be a best friend, google: relationship tips.

Answer 11

Im with Stoner up on top,your husband is probably not feeling so good about the position your in and as a guy you want your girl to be happy but there isnt much he can do right now so he is venting to his friends

Answer 12

I would confront him about his message. The longer you put it off, the Angrier you will become.Honesty is always the policy. Good luck.

Answer 13

my opinion is he was venting. he would probably be sad without you. let him vent to his friends. i say lots of things to my friends that i dont really believe.