My husband used to say what a good mom I was...?

Question

When we first brought the baby home for the first 5 months my husband would always comment on what a good mom I was. If I ever heard him barely make a noise I was on top of it (i am still ike this) and I would never let him cry I would just pick him up. They say you can't zspoil a child this young. Well, I didn't want to keep doing this for fear of spoiling him so I started backing off alil bit and lettin him cry and self soothe. Occasionally now ,though, if he cries and cries and he has been, fed, changed, not too hot or cold, has toys, etc. I just have to leave the room because I feel overwhelmed. He'll amke comments like "How are you gonna handle two kids?" or "Why do you act so stupid?" and all I do is leave the room for a minute to just take a breath and wash my face or whatever. Does it make me a bad mom that I do this? I would think it would be better to walk away for a minute if you feel overwhelmed than to possibly risk getting too upset to care for him. Does this make sense. Why would my hubby say that asking him to take him for a lil bit is acting stupid or bad parenting? He is hardly ever here and I am always home without even a vehicle to go somewhere. What would you do?

Answer 1

sounds to me like you were a good parent as long as he didn't have to be a parent at all, and now that you expect him to step up and take on some of the responsibility, he is criticizing you.

Your husband is the one that needs to rethink his parenting skills, not you.  Sounds to me like you are doing a perfect job.

Answer 2

Denise nailed it. You are a good mom, and dont let anyone tell you any different. Its sounds to me that he needs to work on his parenting skills. Keep it up, your kids will turn out great.

Answer 3

Some dad's aren't always there and they really have no clue what you go through especially with a 5 month old. Try explaining to your husband that he is fine he just wants to be held and your not going to give into him that he has to learn one way or the other. Let him cry it out for awhile but keep checking on him. It's very easy to lose your cool with a crying baby especially since you've done everything possible to make him happy.

With the second baby on the way try to keep from holding him/her so much and you won't have to worry about the fussiness as much. Trust me it will make it so much better.