My husband wants me to be a stay at home mom but I dont know how. help?

Question

please dont be mean to me thanks everyone

Answer 1

If I were you, I'd totally do it. If I didn't have to work, I know I wouldn't.

Answer 2

If you don't want to be one, then don't.  However, if you are going to go on working when you have children you need to consider the massive cost of childcare, and whether it is going to be economically viable for you to keep on working.

Consider also the benefits of not having to 'juggle' and worry about who is looking after your children when you are not, having to rush home to do all the housework etc(few men, jduging by what I read on Marriage and Divorce on here are interested in helping with this) what happens when the children are ill.

The fact that your husband actually wants you to be a stay-at-home mom makes him a rarity in today's world.  Most men expect their wives to have a job and do all the domestic work as well.  That he does not demand that you do both is to his credit.

It would probably be to your advantage if you at least stay at home until the children go to school, you will pay less for childcare once they are at school, and you will be able to enjoy their early years, which are over soon enough.  I personally find being with my children a lot more interesting than being in an office or somewhere equally dreary, but if you find that you really dislike being at home you could always try getting a part-time job or something.

As another comment above says, it is important to have your own interests that you can pursue, your children will not need you every minute of the day, though they will enjoy having you around.   Anyone with moderate intelligence should be able to keep themselves amused at home.

Answer 3

Every one grew up from a family. So you have a guideline on stay home mom.

Answer 4

You shouldn't be a stay at home because your husband wants you to. You should be a stay at home mom because you want to. The life of a stay at home mother is not for everyone. It is a personal decision that includes both finances and feelings. No one should criticize your choice.

If you truly feel that you want to stay at home (Which is okay) it would be best to talk to friends or family that have also made that decision. Their experience will probably give you much help.

If you don't want to stay at home (Which is also okay) and you husband keeps on insisting, then you need to point out that it is becoming more and more common for their to be stay at home fathers. Child rearing is no longer the sole responsibility of the female gender.

Answer 5

If you don't want to be a SAHM then don't be.  Its your life; live it as you see fit.  How is it that you are bringing this up after getting married?  It seems to me that this sort of thing should be discussed before marriage to make certain both sides are on board.  The high divorce rate is a reflection of the fact that too many people go into marriage with their eyes closed.

Maybe this is a sign the writing is on the wall.  Take it seriously, before you make babies and tie yourself down to a man you didn't even bother to get to know.

Answer 6

Your kids are your most special treasure, they need the security of knowing your there for them. Staying at home to raise them is as natural as it gets. You'll find they don't need you every second of the day, but they appreciate that you're there. Find things that interest you, hobby's, out door activities etc. Involve you're kids and you'll find its very rewarding.

I'm an avid caver and my children come with me, when its safe. I also home school so we turn everything into a learning experience.

You're children will never lament that their mom loved them enough to stay home and raise them. Good luck

Answer 7

Go over your finances and see if you can afford it and how much the loss of your income would effect your family.

     Than also look at the harm it could do to your career, and then dig deep down into yourself and see if you might become resent full or bored. If any of things pop up than it = a bad idea.

              I don't want to pry but your husband doesn't seem to be in the right frame of mind.

  With 90% of divorces initiated by the wife and marriages dying 50% of the time.. Seems kind of like a bad move if things turn sour(alimony and stuff).

         So I guess if you care enough about him that you would want to protect him incase things turn sour I would advice against staying at home unless your still in your career atleast part time.

         If you dont care too much than I would advice becoming a stay at home mom incase things turn sour you would probally make a killing in the divorce.

Answer 8

If you enjoy reading, there are some great books on how to manage a home and family, and there are some wonderful websites with lots of good information (see links below for a couple of them).

As well, you could go along to a local women's centre and ask if they have a new mother's discussion group, where first time mums can meet over a cup of coffee and discuss how they manage things.

A friend of mine joined one of these groups in her home town, and the six women who were members have since been friends for over 20 years, swapping helpful hints, recipes and shoulders to cry on when it's been needed.

The most important thing is probably to talk with your husband about just what it is he thinkis a SAHM is, what are his expectations, and then see if that's something you actually want to do, or are interested in.

Once you've nmade that decision, you can plan how best to do what it is YOU want for your life.

Not everyone 'automatically' knows how to be good at being a SAHM, so finding out from others is the smart option!

A happy mum helps make a family happy.

Cheers :-)

Answer 9

OK, perhaps its a big question and you need to work things out with him first?

If you take a decision like this you might want to keep some kind of flexibility. Not make a total promise or absolutely fixed plan?

Some women adore it, some go a bit crazy.

I've managed to do something in between, work a bit at at home and a little bit outside it and that has been great for me.

My advice is to try it (I have felt so lucky to have the option, many women don't) but don't make any promises it would be hard to turn around from.

Some of the most unexpected women turn out to be earth mothers. Some women who have longed to be maternal find they yearn for their careers and jobs.

I love being a stay at home mother but having outside interest, involvement and inspiration is necessary for me, it makes me a nicer person and a more patient mother.

Good luck with your choices whatever they are.

Answer 10

What the **** ever

Answer 11

it's the greatest experince ever ,escpeciallyif u have kids,,don'tmiss out on them!!!!!!!!1111

Answer 12

What happens if your husband was the stay at home dad, less family income?  Not trying to be mean, but I'm just inquiring to know why you just don't refuse to be the stay at home mom if it's that important to you.

If you're the kind of person with the patience to read, pick up some books on child development.  It'll probably help.  Whatever happens, don't raise your kids to be dysfunctional.  It might be hard if you yourself are dysfunctional as well, however.

Answer 13

yea once or if i get married thats what i want my wife to do. because of the child and u can baby sit other kids for extra money

basically a stay at home mom is u take care of the baby cook clean and have supper ready  for daddy when he comes home

Answer 14

You do what  you need to do.

Many women are miserable as a SAHM (waving hand) there really isn't enough to do...no challenge.

Think it over...for your own happiness...which is linked with your family's happiness.  Do whats right for you.

Answer 15

So.

I bet you I didnt know my role (not chosen in my case) and had to learn.

What is your question.