My husband wants to adopt my kids, & we have some questions!?

Question

My husband and I have been married for a year (we've been together for almost three), and I have 3 yo twins from a previous relationship. Their biological father has only saw them once and that was by accident. He's court ordered to pay child support but that's only been for the past year. He wants nothing to do with them, and we moved from Nebraska to Georgia and he still has no contact with them. He's had every opportunity in the world, just chooses not to. The rest of his family is in their lives though. My question is, how do we go about having my husband adopt them? Do we have to go through the state of Nebraska (they were born and lived there up until a year ago, my husband is military) or Georgia where we live now. Does the military help with adoption? Is this going to be really expensive since we're in different states? Any help would be greatly appreciated, we're clueless on how to start this process!! Thanks so much!

Answer 1

My husband adopted my son too.  The adoption takes place in the State of residence, which in your case would be GA.  If the bio-dad wanted to fight the adoption, he would need to travel to GA.  I found that if the bio-dad was able to get out of paying child support, he was more than willing to sign any paper handed to him.  Get a good lawyer and have him get the wheels in motion.  Unless he wants a large retainer up front (which some do)....our adoption only cost about $900.  That was for the lawyer and all court fees.

Answer 2

I would wait for a couple more years. I don't believe the family members are going to let the natural father consent since they are in your children's life. But in case he does you have to go to the state where the child support is ordered. Military might help you but I drought it for when my son wanted to go in he would have to give up his fight for his son. Also when my sister's boy went in since he doesn't make enough money for 2 kids they had him claim one.  Your husband needs to know once he adopts this is for good so please make sure. Kids don't need to call  a man a dad unless he's going to be there for the long haul. Good luck

Answer 3

The Military should be able to help you, be prepared, the adoption people will do a background check on your husband  and on you.As for the birth father they will want his consent and he will not have to pay child support after their     adopted.

P.S. You can make a living will and have your kids be left to your husband if he accepts to take them, which from what your saying he will.

Answer 4

He has to sign over his rights.

Answer 5

Some things to keep in mind...

All marriages have a 50% failure rate, marriages with one partner having children, failure rate is 75-85%.

I know everything is peachy now, but you never know.  Do you really want to risk you children having to spend court-ordered time and visits with your x and his new wife?

Should you get divorced you'll lose A LOT of countrol of your children's lives.

Answer 6

Normally, it would be in the state that the children reside, but if you moved recently, it very well be in Nebraska.  Contact an attorney to find out who has jurisdiction and what you need to do.  

While he does not have anything to do with them, he can still refuse to allow the adoption to take place.  This is because it still enables his relatives to have contact with the children.  Once your husband adopts them, you can cut off that contact.  While he may not be interested in the children, his mother may very well be.