My husband wants to adopt my son?

Question

My husband would like to adopt my two year old son but his father wants to fight it. I want my son and his father to continue ins relationship but I want my husband to be able to legally make decisions for my son. His father does not want to pay support and he constantly changes his mind about when he wants to visit. He always makes excuses and says he can't afford to put him in daycare. Its always about money. Me and my husband are responsilble for healthcare because he is military. Also my sons father wants to keep me from being able to take my son out the state when my husband get stationed somewhere else. I am confused about a lot of things and I just want my son to have a good steady life. I didn't have my bio mom around when I was growing up and my dad had lots of different women. I want my son to have a normal life. His father is very manipulative and doesn't want the responsility just the right to cause confusion to make things difficult and his way. There is so much more to this but no space to put it all. What should I do?

Answer 1

ultimately is your your decision, are u physical custodian? hope you've kept important recordings or are keeping them.(documents)you'll most likely need them to accomplish what u need or want to do. i'm pretty sure military attorney could or would be glad to help u out! LOTS OF LUCK! WISH U WELL! hope i've helped

Answer 2

Letting your boy's manipulative father influence your boy and increase your stress levels is not helping your son out at all. I would suggest trying to acquire sole custody of your son, that way you and your husband are the primary decision makers for your son and if you husband receives orders to move, you will be able to take your son without a lot of hassle. Right now you are enabling the father or your child to manipulate you and your family. If it is all about the money, then your ex is not taking responsibility for his child and perhaps may be neglectful in other areas as well. Adoption may not be the answer; however, sole custody will make things easier for you to protect your son.  

Answer 3

You should get a lawyer.  Laws are different in every state.  You need to know your rights and be able to do what is best for your child.  This is not something you want to do on your own.  Good Luck.

Answer 4

I'd find a good divorce lawyer, but I'm not sure that you can legally make your son's father give up his rights. You can however make sure that he pays child support and set a more rigid schedule for visitation. Good luck! It really sounds like you just want what's best for your son, and I hope it works out for you.

Answer 5

Sorry for your situation, I feel for you and your family. There is no easy answer to your problem. I adopted my daughter shortly after marrying my wife, so I know something about what you are going through, though my wife's ex was so far behind on his child support, that we had leverage on him, we ended up forgiving his $3K+ debt if he didn't contest the adoption. He also owed several thousand dollars to the state for the period of time my wife was on public assistance while going to college. He hadn't sought to have any involvement as far as visitation with our daughter was concerned.

  For your situation I recommend getting a lawyer and suing him for back child support, get his wages garnished, and in fact challenge the original courts ruling and try and get more child support from him. If he wants his rights, force him to take responsibility. From your description of him, I really think if you apply the right pressure, which is merely forcing him to do what he is supposed to be doing anyway, he will cave in and allow your husband to adopt your son, or at the very least be a more appropriate provider for the boy. Good Luck, hope this helps you.

Answer 6

without the bio fathers permission your husband won't be able to adopt your son BUT he may be able to get legal guardianship of your son with your permission which is almost the same

Answer 7

If your son's father doesn't pay child support, you can take him to court and sue him for the full amount, present and past - and, at least in the state of New York, you'll win.

If that's not something he wants, you make a deal. You don't pay child support, and relinquish the rights to the kid. So your son will see  him whenever he wants to - not when it's court-mandated.

Answer 8

It's sad that people KEEP using money for a reason to separate people from their children. Like YOU said "Its always about money"

VERY VERY SAD!!!

Answer 9

The father of the child would have to give up his parental rights.