My husband wants to leave me he says he does not love me anymore?

Question

my husband went to vermont 3 weeks ago for work he does not come back till october. we got into an argument about him acting funny because i have a hard time trusting him.3 years ago he cheated on me.And it is still hard to trust him so i always say something about it if he leaves for long periods of time.He told me that he needed his space and that he does not love me anymore and that he needed to find out why?He needed time to think.And that by me bugging him about it i am pushing him away.we have 2 small children . i love him so much and i am scared and in so much pain. i do not know what to do ,should i give him his space and is he cheating on me.he quit talking to me altogether. he wont call all he does is text me.he says he loves me one day and then he changes his mind the next.he wont give me a strait answer.

Answer 1

look shana the way its sounds. i don't think he loves you, because no one its going to take time to see if maybe they do feel something for you and i think that you know already the truth you just don't want to accepted.

Answer 2

Hi I'm sorry for your situation it is heart breaking when break-ups are so one sided. I think given your situation you should let him go, the trust is gone, this is going to keep eating at you and turn you into this miserable green eyed monster that you know deep down is not you at all. The kids are young, they will deal with this so much easier than in another 5 years or so, I hope things work out for you, Good Luck....

Answer 3

He is already gone, suggest marriage counseling to him if he declines then seek counseling for yourself and kids then file for a divorce because u cannot make the man stay when he is not happy good luck o.k

Answer 4

i think you should fight any way you can to save the relationship.

Answer 5

You need to back off, let him have his space. You will find it to be the hardest thing youve ever had to do, but dont jump to the phone If he texts, dont call him. Make him wait on you. If you ask me hes already moved on and found someone new, but If he is being honest you really need to let him have his space. I dont think It Is very fair of him to do this to you, but some men just dont get it that they have the whole world in the palm of their hands with their family. Even If you feel like your falling apart inside dont let him know. He doesnt deserve to know how badly hes hurting you.

Answer 6

I feel for you - I am in a very similar situation - its happened once. I don't feel mine deserves a second chance. I am scared and have a small child. Keep your head up high and prove to your self that your worth more. This is my plan. I know its easier said then done. I have a feeling he'll come back but don't take him back. He's had his chance. He can't play this emotional game with you ( you have 2 small children) I just want to tell my husband, GROW UP.

Answer 7

He is cheating! When the other girl and him have issues, that is when he assures himself that he has a "holler-back" girl if it doesn't work out with the other girl, be strong and move on, kids won't keep a relationship together!

Answer 8

If I were you, I think I would go on as if he were already gone out of my life for good, with the exception of dating.  I would hook up with girlfriends, plan my days and weeks as I wish with my kids and friends.  Take this opportunity to find MYSELF again, just as he stated he need to.  Keep in touch with him by text or phone call - however you prefer.  Let him know you and the kids are doing ok.  (Which you will be!)  It will take some getting used to, but I promise you will enjoy your newfound self and it may very well be that he will enjoy that you are not waiting at home pining away for him.  My husb. works nights 6-7 days a week.  My b/f's husb work the norm. 8 hr day 5 day/wk.  Her husb. is addicted to the computer and ignores her and the kids.  Mine is sleeping or not home..(doesn't need to work as much as he chooses to)  We have learned to do things together with the kids.  We plan beach trips for the day, sledding trips, mini golf, etc..

All the sudden the husbands want to join in!

It's worth a try, and much better than doing nothing.  If nothing else, you will be learning how to live for yourself and your children.

Good luck and best wishes to you and your kids!

Answer 9

Do you remember your vows? If you cannot work things out together, then what is the sense of being together? He is dragging you on. Try not to call him or answer his calls, text. Play out like you are doing other things, you dont have time for him. See if it changes him any and if not then whats done is done it hurts like h**l but you will only get stronger form this. Takes time and a lot of pain and crying but stay happy in front of those children, they don't want to see momma cry.

Answer 10

You sound like your going through a lot, and by the sounds of it he is no longer in love with you.  If he went, and cheated on you then there has to be something you or him is lacking.  He say's he is not in love with you anymore, but it's time for you to take a stand.  You need to tell him that you do not have to put up with his behavior, and you will not.  There are plenty of other men in the world that will take their time and love you for you.

Answer 11

Let him go,

The quicker you do the quicker you can start the healing process.

Answer 12

Tell him to stay in Vermont and sleep with the bears. Tell him you are tired of him messing with your head, and you want a divorce.

Answer 13

Women in western socities are delusional thinking that monogamous marriage is the only acceptable way.  Healthy, normal men are wired to be polygamous and a too close knit marriage just pushes them away.  Especially if the two of you married at a too early age (before 25, I'd say).  Naturally, he's getting scared that he's not living up to his full potential.  I would just leave him alone and let him figure out what he wants.  In the meantime, you can do the same (or try to) and then the two of you can see there that leads.  You'll both either discover that you've changed and grown too much apart and seperate in a civil manner, or the two of you get back together in a stronger relationship than before.  

Answer 14

1.) He stays gone all the time.

2.) He is telling you he need his space.

3.) He is only texting you.

4.) He says you are pushing him away.

5.) He cheated on you before.

6.) HE TOLD HE HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

I know it's hard, but he is cheating on you sweetie, all of these are signs of a cheater. Maybe it's with the same lady from before. So just start doing you and do him like he doing you. He will come to his senses. You don't miss your water until your well runs dry.

Answer 15

good riddance to him.  his butt should have been gone 3 years ago when he cheated.  why do you think he wants to leave now?  yup, he's cheating.

Answer 16

I think that you have had enough,nevermind him,look at what he has done in the past,I know it hurts to lose someone but imagine spending a lifetime looking over your shoulder,there are people out there who will love you for who you are and not cheat on you.Now he is out of state doing god only knows what while your at home worried half to death,this is not someone I would want to be with,is it really how you pictured your life?

Answer 17

He's playing games with you. He's being cruel. The fact that he told you he hasn't felt love for you in 6 months would be enough for me to divorce him. Either you love someone or you don't.

Get away from this selfish jerk.

Answer 18

IT SEEMS LIKE IF HE IS PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU.YOU SHOULD LET HIM GO BCAUSE I DONT THINK HE NEEDS TO TELL YOU NOTHING NO MORE HE IS SAYING IT WITH HIS ACTS & YOU HAVE CHILDREN TO THINK ABAUT TOO IS NOT HEALTHY FOR THEM TO BE LIVING LIKE THAT.GIVE HIM TIME AND MAYBE HE WILL REALIZE WHAT HE LOST. IF NOT YOU GOT TO MOVE ON EVEN THOUGTH IS GOING TO BE HARD IS NOT EASY TO LOOSE UR COUPLE BUT YOU GOT TO BE VERY STRONG FOR YOUR KIDS THEY WILL BE YOUR STRAINTH TO MOVE ON IN LIFE .