My husband was awarded "reasonable visitation" with his daughter from a previous relationship. Please advise?

Question

This is in the state of North Dakota. I just read that "reasonable visitation" is a meaningless term that can't really be enforced. It doesn't matter if he's been picking his daughter up at 6 PM on Friday nights for ten years; if one week he shows up and no one is there, he's just out of luck. Well, we'd like to get this amended so that his visitation rights are specifically spelled out. How do we go about doing this? We haven't got a lot of money for a lawyer. Can we request a mediator? Please advise, if you know anything about this.

Answer 1

this is why you either use condoms, or actually stay married.  He did neither.  You can get the agreement changed, but if the mother doesn't want to change it your in for one h**l of a fight.  Try acting like adults, and figure something out between the mom and your hubby.  You need to stay a bit back from it, and let your husband deal with it, because it sounds like you're one step away from punching her, and while it would make you feel better, it won't help.

tell your hubby to be a man and handel this problem, not let his wife try to handel it

Answer 2

You can request a mediator and hammer this out with him or her, and then a judge has to sign off on it.  I would recommend getting an attorney though.  You need one to change or amend a court order.  You can't just go to a judge and say, "We don't like this and want to change it".  I'd call a lawyer in your state and get some legal advice.  The laws there are different than where I live.

Answer 3

Not sure for your state but using a mediator is more reasonable than a lawyer and in the best interest of all, especially the kids when both parents can work as a team for their behalf!

Good luck!  

Answer 4

If you check with the county clerk, then you should be able to file the papers yourself and even file an Indingency Affidavit to get them to grant you a waiver for the filing fees (if you qualify based on income).  My husband's decree said "Rights of reasonable contact including Sundays and Mondays for several hours."  And because of that language, it turned into a Sunday morning, Monday afternoon, and whenever my stepson's mother didn't feel like dealing with him thing.



When we went to court, we were requesting a BIG change in the visitation schedule (we were seeking primary residence and got shared residence when it was done).  But regardless of how much we were seeking, it would start with a Post Judgement Motion to Modify.  In it, you will need to state the changes you are requesting and why you are requesting them (ie - that you would like more specific language in the decree so that it is clearer to both parties what is expected of them).

Once you have filed that with the courts, either you or they will serve his ex with the Motion to Modify and she has 21 days to respond (in Maine - check your laws in ND, though).  If she does not file a response with the courts, then the judge can find her in default and grant you whatever he sees fit.  If she does respond, then they will usually start with a status conference where you state your cases to the judge (briefly) and then he will assign a date for mediation.

If you can work something out amicably with the ex, then things will go a lot smoother for you.  He should mention wanting to change the language of the court order to her before he files the motion - it will strengthen their working relationship as parents and may make her much more open to working with you to make the parenting plan specific.

And whoever told you that it didn't matter what had been happening in the past is wrong.  If there is a distinct precedence for a visitation from 6pm on Fridays to Sunday 8pm (for example), then the courts are going to be very very likely to give you at least that.  When we filed our paperwork, my husband's ex lashed back by requesting restricting his visits with his son down to supervised - but because there was a precedence of us having him from Sunday morning at 8am to Monday night at 7pm for a year the judge through that out (showed she was comfortable giving us an overnight she wasn't required to give us).

Child custody is always a sticky battle - just remember that you have to work with this person until that child is 18 so you need to be as diplomatic as you can.  :)

Good luck!

Answer 5

You will need a lawyer to amend a legal document.   If you can get the parties to a mediator and hammer it all out first, that will cut down on the cost of the lawyer.