My husband watches p**n knowing that i hate it, why is it hard for him to just stop?

Question

When i got married i was already pregnant, and i specifically told my husband that i did not want him looking at p**n. Well when i was about 8 mon pregnant i came home early from work to find him watching it on the internet. I felt so horrible because here i am fatter than a whale, and he does this behind my back, and what really upsets me is that when i ask him if he would mind if i would look at p**n he say YES. So why is it ok for him to do it and not me? Well my question is, if he minds it and he knows i mind it why does he continue to do it.

Answer 1

It sounds like you married an insensitive lout, and a hypocrite in his views of p**n, and if you can or can not watch the same. Is he you mate, or your father? If he is like this on this subject, I am sure he is also on other parts of your relationship. You may have to decide one day, if this relationship will last. As to the p**n preference of men vs Women, here is an interesting study;

Neurobiologist and anthropologist Michael Platt of Duke University is studying differences in how the sexes respond to pictures in general. On average, his research shows, men will pay to see images of women. But you have to pay women to look at images of men!

Platt started with similar studies in monkeys. While most animals are indifferent to photos even of individuals in their own species, monkeys and apes respond to pictures much as humans do.

Rhesus macaques that Platt studied, for example, easily recognized the faces of familiar monkeys. And they liked some faces more than others, though the face wasn't always the favorite part.

Platt found that male macaques strongly preferred to look at pictures of females' rear ends and dominant males' faces. They liked them enough to pay, by sacrificing a chance to get a treat. But you had to bribe those same monkeys with treats to persuade them to look at female macaque faces or the faces of subordinate males.

Answer 2

woah that was a bit confusing..lol

but uhm i think that he just needs that trill from somewhere. because you where pregnant its kinda hard to get it from you. but i bet soon after you give birth he will leave that alone if you guys have a good s*x life. but hey..WE ALL GET HORNYlol even us females. but if he doesnt find what he wants on the internet..h**l get it from the t.v if not that then magazines/books. and dont listen to the dushbag that said all guys watch p**n. thats not true. [the ones that dont are f**s] lol no but i do think its a matter of trust and him abiding by your word. maybe try doing something that he doesnt like even though he said no. maybe that will get the point across. but i think that its nothing to be worried about but if you dont like it and you say no than its no. make that clear to him. and after the baby..try spicin up da s*x life..no affence intended.=]

email me anytime for more advice:

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Answer 3

It is an addiction, just like alcohol or drugs.  Someone watching p**n gets endorphins released in their brain, just like someone using a substance.  It is extremely difficult to break the habit, and I'd say it is impossible unless he wants to do it.  Consider seeking professional counseling.  If he wants to quit then you need to block internet access to x*x sites, otherwise the temptation will be too great.  PS:  It has nothing to do with your being pregnant.  It will still happen even after the baby and you look great again.  It's an addiction, not an issue with the way you look.

Answer 4

I echo what Brooke said.  Guys compartmentalize p**n from their relationships, so when you get upset, he doesn't understand what the big deal is.  He sees it as two different worlds.  We're visual creatures.  p**n can be addictive to a degree, but overall it's OK so long as the watcher doesn't have a problem (watching it for hours on end and cutting off ties with real relationships).  An analogy can be made with alcohol; it's fine if you have booze in your home so long as you're not an alcoholic/addict.

However, it is not cool that he doesn't want you looking.  It's just plain hypocritical and unfair.  He sounds like a territorial guy who needs to grow up in that respect.

I sympathize with you feeling insecure 8 months pregnant, but a guy looking at p**n doesn't mean that he isn't attracted to you or thinks you're beautiful.  With few exceptions, what a guys looks at online doesn't necessarily represent what he likes in real life.

Answer 5

Okay, I am going to address the ENTIRETY of your question instead the parts that some men and women on here just didn't see: if he has a problem with you watching p**n, but he can be perfectly fine about him watching it himself then you seriously need to tell this guy to get over himself. What? Does your guy not think that pregnant women should get off too? Jeez, a woman's sexual urges just don't fade a way once she becomes pregnant!

Tell him, if he doesn't stop watching it then h**l, you're going to get your enjoyment too. That, or you're going to break the friggin computer screen, buy YOURSELF a laptop, password protect it so that even the king-of-all-hackers can't hack it and then watch p**n on it all the live-long-day and DARE him to say something stupid or smart about it! And hey, you've got the once excuse that men for centuries have never, ever gone against: hormones. Let them work for you!

Honestly, even if it is an addiction, you're pregnant and you're going through a very emotional and stressful time right now and he should at least be UNDERSTANDING to your needs. Honestly, make him understand that looking at those sluttacious women on the computer screen makes you feel devalued as HIS woman and as the MOTHER of his CHILD.

And why isn't he letting you get you jollies? Ask him how it's fair and really push him for an answer too!

Answer 6

Should be ok for you to do this also.  Just let him catch you watching some and see how he feels about.  then you can talk about this.

rd

Answer 7

All guys look at p**n.

Get over it.

If you want to watch it, do it while he isn't around.

You women make such a huge deal out of nothing.

It's not like he can reach into the monitor and touch anyone.

Like you don't look at any men besides your husband.

Please.

Answer 8

you can install NetDog p**n Filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com on his computer, it blocks all p**n automatically and quitely when your husband's on the internet.

Answer 9

I hate it too,,,, But I think most men do it

Answer 10

Give him a ultimatum and ask him whats it going to be, p**n or you?. Men are very selfish critters and have not many feelings for the other partner and yes it is classed as a form of cheating. Teach people including your husband how you wish to be treated and don't put up with any c**p.

Answer 11

guys are gonna watch it, belive it or not,

Answer 12

Are you taking care of his needs? Your pregnant and I can respect that but you still can do other things. You expect him to go to work, fix things, and listen to you so if your doing something to him he won't look. Honestly all guys do rather they admit it or not. It's just us being us and it will never change. Guys are all about visual and we just get bored and sports can only be watched so many times.

Answer 13

sometime guy can't control this stuff. it just come out from his head that he want to watch p**n. I think watching p**n is better that having affair with other woman.  

Answer 14

either he is intentionally trying to p**s you off, or he just cant kick the habit. and dont feel too bad if he watches p**n... yeah in the perfect world all he should want is you, but youve watched p**n before havent you? even once?

dont take offence and think he doesnt want you. thats not nec. the case. and no, its not ok for him to watch p**n if you arent allowed to. watch it with him knowing and see what he says.

Answer 15

why is it so bad that he watches it ONCE in a while...its better than him cheating on you or doing other things behide your back....unless it is an addiction cuz that is bad and he needs to get help...

Answer 16

Maybe you need to talk to him seriously on what he gets from the p**n, maybe by talking instead of fighting you can build up the trust between you and your mate. Maybe he has sexual dreams that you won't fufill cause you can't trust his judgement. Think of the marriage first and not yourself.

Answer 17

sounds like hes a double standard person.  If he really cared about how u feel he would respect it, him admitting to him being uncomfortable about u watching p**n says he does understand but basicallyy just care enough to do anything about it. I'm so sorry ur married to that kind of a guy.  If i were in that position i would just leave.  guess its not so simple at your end.

Answer 18

p**n is an addiction just like any other drug.  

Answer 19

guys watch p**n, i realized that now, but what about going to personals when you are married and they say they are just looking.  What does that mean?

Answer 20

Like stated earlier p**n is an addiction that is hard to break. I've seen people in my family struggle with it and you can truly see how hard it is. It's like trying to quit using a drug... it's hard to give it up. The best way to handle it, in my opinion, is seek outside help. I've seen it work miracles for my family and i know that it truly helps.  

Answer 21

Whats the big deal honestly. Would you rather him watch p**n or cheat on you? Watching p**n is totally harmless. Let it go Everrrryyyy guy does it my fiance does I don't care.  

Answer 22

Men enjoy watching p**n. The only reason we say we will not is to make our girlfriends or wives stfu. The fact we are looking at a naked woman is not the same as the fact that we ar fu**ing her. There is a major difference. Basically your anger is just in my opinion some moralistic BS. However, I will grant you this.. I never ever looked at p**n while my girlfriends would be aware of it. I did it only in my alone time.

Seriously, mothers gets upset when their boys look at p**n. Girlfriends and wives should be more concerned with other things than if their spouse is masturbating. Basically it is just a sign of insecurity on your part.

The answer is that it is hard to stop because you are just being stupid and illogical. What if he told you to stop watching romantic dramas because he could never live up to the ideal of the sensitive males portrayed in them. Would you actually take him seriously?

Answer 23

well guys are going to. i dont think he does it to hurt you. if he watched it and you didnt ketch him would it bother you? if you want to watch it go a head just dont get caught delet your history

Answer 24

Women don't get it and if females think that all husbands are going to give up p**n they are stupid. Can't you see that men love their wives so much they are willing to lie about watching p**n to make you happy. It always seems that women are never satisfied. These are some of the reasons men cheat. I don't blame them for doing it. To be real with you, why would a man want to see a women with many stretch marks naked when he could watch a beautiful women having s*x?

Answer 25

Men like p**n. They are visual creatures. It's a fantasy for them, and usually harmless (unless it involves kids or is excessive or addictive). You shouldn't take it personally. I would object to him having different rules for you though. Women can enjoy p**n too. You have to decide how important this is to you. You may need to fight other more important battles. You could also let the fantasy add something to your s*x life. It could be something you enjoy together.