My husband who is asian doesnt like to have s*x?

Question

I'm latina and maybe my expectations of a man are so high and I'm so disappointed when my husband has no passion, no affection towards me. since i can remember i i"ve tried dressing up,books,talking to him and waiting for his false changes, withholding any s*x . I feel like 6 years of disappointment is hard. I found out from a previous GF that he was like that with her no s*x and his excuse was that he wanted to wait until they were married, that she was like a sister and loved her too much....and before i had this talk with her we had similar things happen she said that she tried laying in bed naked in bed with him, i did the same not knowing that she had been Through this too, she felt so much better knowing that he was like that with me and she was much happier. My husband is a father and hard worker. But he sucks as a lover, its years of damaged love relationship that i feel like i hate him and his selfish ways.many nights of forcing him , late night rejections, I'm SO tired i find myself thinking of alternatives maybe ar relationship on line where i never meet the person but i get the verbal affection my marriage fails...... I believe that we are in relationships to except and not try and change ....... but WTF I'm i suppose to suffer because i took vowels?????

Answer 1

I love s*x, love latina and I am asian.  Call me, let chat.

Answer 2

What does the fact that he is Asian have to do with it? Ive been with an Asian man and believe me, he couldnt get enough! was your hubby like this before you married him? You must have experimented in some way before the wedding?

Answer 3

Vows.

No one is suppose to suffer. I assume you've tried discussing this issue. Maybe it's time to seek out therapy either one-on-one/ couples and/ or marriage counseling, to get to the root of his issues.

Answer 4

First off , it has nothing to do with him being asian. I am hispanic and my husband is asian and he a wonderful bedroom mate ( without going in to details  I am very happy and satisfied)

BUT there IS something going on with your husband it sounds like performance anxiety or stress. There are a ton of reasons why your husband may be relunctant to have s*x.

Your feelings of beinghurt by rejection are normal but youhave to know its NOT YOU. There is something else going on.

Take a time whenboth of you are calm and ask him calmly loving like if  you guys can dscuss what is going on ( or not going on) in the bedroom.

s*x is not the most important thing but it IS important to the bonding of two marriage mates.

The bible tells us that we are not to with hold  s*x from one another.

Yes it actually says that.

1 corinthans 7 :1-7

"7 Now concerning the things about which YOU wrote, it is well for a man not to touch a woman; 2 yet, because of prevalence of fornication, let each man have his own wife and each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to [his] wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to [her] husband. 4 The wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, also, the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not be depriving each other [of it], except by mutual consent for an appointed time, that YOU may devote time to prayer and may come together again, that Satan may not keep tempting YOU for YOUR lack of self-regulation. "

an affair is not the answer, you can make your marriage better.

http://www.watchtower.org/e/20010108/art...

Answer 5

what does ethnicity have to do with it?

Answer 6

have you tried games as in s*x games? maybe it would help. I've been married for fifteen years and sometimes things get old so we use game to spice it up a notch.

Answer 7

s*x in pretty much every couples life is a major thing you cant really avoid it and i don't know why you would want to.

The best thing to do is tell him how you feel so that you can work it out together.

Answer 8

LOL true what does his ethnicity have to do with the fact that he doesn't like/want s*x?

Answer 9

Had the same thing with my first husband. I asked for a divorce. We had no children. But I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND the whole rejection thing. I tried everything. Even things that I felt were embarrassing and shameful. You have one life. This is not  a dress rehearsal , I say get out, get on , get happy

Answer 10

I'm really curious of how he was when you first met and right before you got married! If you love him you should talk to him, counseling as others have suggested, try to make it work. Relationships and marriage counseling for both of you, and therapy for each of you individually. Don't be one of those couples that divorce so easily!

Answer 11

I've always sort of found this kind of thing interesting. I know that people have different s*x drives, and that can complicate relationships where one partner feels the need for sexual activity and the other doesn't, and they usually have to compromise to make it work.

I'll be honest, I was born with a number of birth defects, which, along with a lot of other things, left me unable to produce hormones, so I think that I may be asexual. So I've always found it sort of interesting when people talk about "needing" s*x, and I hear that a lot, and I thought it was strange for a while because you don't "need" s*x like you need food, water, air, etc. But as far as evolutionary psychology goes, it does make sense that the body would create a feeling of need to have s*x, a compelling need for natural human reproduction. I think that most feel that to some degree, but I would think that people's s*x drives are different.

It depends how important s*x is to you. The guy sounds like a good person and you feel guilty about being disappointed about this aspect of your relationship. But its there, too, so I think its best to be honest with him and yourself about it, and just try to figure out where you go from here. If you can make it work, good, but you may end up going your own way. I hope it works out for you either way. Good luck.

Answer 12

Go to a s*x therapist or marriage counseling.

Answer 13

Maybe you're not as pretty as you used to be.

Answer 14

It may be because of different sexual drive.  It depends on how much you are willing to sacrify yourself in a marriage that doesn't have sexual life involved.  If you love him and you can stand the situation for the rest of your life, then, you don't need to find a new life, otherwise, in the future, you may end up  having affairs with other men.

Before such things happen, ask yourself what kind of marriage life you prefer for the rest of your life, then you have to make your decision.

Answer 15

Is it cuz his p***s is too small?

& you can always buy a vowel with me!

Answer 16

dang  !!  i don't think asian has anything to do with it.  i think you guys just need to see a s*x therapist.

if not , you can call me at 555-62......lol   good luck sweety, hang in there and talk to him

Answer 17

Didn´t you know this before marrying him?