My husband won't file for divorce, but says he wants one.?

Question

My husband and I are both in our early 20s. We have a 15 month old. We separated in May, and he lives with his mother. His mom says he does not want a divorce, but he tells me he wants one. But when I bring it up, he changes the subject and says "I will research it". When I said, let's meet and go to file together he says "I will go, not you". He said he doesn't love me anymore, but when we meet to switch our kid out for the weekend... he flirts with me still like old times, then suddenly will become belligerent and say he hates me and never loved me.

His mom says he is just angry, but then again he says he has nothing against me.

Answer 1

Call his bluff and file yourself.  His mood swings indicate he should see a doctor about them. And he should be paying you more than $100 a week.  You may still be in love but it is not a healthy relationship as long as he keeps sending you double messages. If he gets upset, insist on a trial legal separation and counseling. He if still refuses he is just dragging his feet, and it is time to take care of business.  

Answer 2

Either he really does not want one or he is delaying it as long as possible to figure out what he wants or he is avoiding to to not pay child support.  I have seen some men lead the wife on form years, hinting that they might get back together, when he had no intention, jus so the divorce would not proceed and he would be financially OK.

Answer 3

just file for the divorce yourself...if its gonna b an agreed upon divorce you can go to the courthouse and get a non-contested divorce packet, fill out your part, he fills his part out then file it with the court then wait for the hearing or obtain an attorney...

if you wait for your husband to do it you might b like me and waiting for years...

if the marriage is over, go file that way you can both move on with your lives..

Answer 4

Why did you two separate?  Wait don't tell me.  It sounds to me like your husband regrets becoming an adult and having a kid makes it more difficult.

Who cares what his mother says?  What she says and what HE does are two different things.  She shouldn't be speaking for him. If he says he doesn't love you anymore, then you should take him at his word.  Because chances are, he doesn't love you anymore.  His mom says he's just angry?  Angry about what?  He says he has nothing against you, but he also has nothing for you either.  The problem is like I said, he doesn't want to grow up.  He got married too young. Now he has a kid he has to support for the next 18 years, at least.  He's married but still wants his freedom.  He probably doesn't like having to tell you everything or be home every night and not come and go as he pleases.  His mother isn't helping by letting him move back in with her.  She should tell him he has a wife and kid, now go take care of them.  Instead she's coddling him and letting him remain her baby.  He needs to grow up.  He keeps saying he wants a divorce, tell him to either put up or shut up.  He won't like paying child support AND alimony.  It will be cheaper for him in the long run if he cuts the umbilical cord with his mother and be a man.  Nobody forced him to get married or have a kid.  Now it's too late to turn back now.  He has to think of the kid.  His time for fun is over.  It's not all about him anymore.  He took a bride and created a child, now he has to live up to his responsibility.  His mother should tell him this too.  Good luck.

Answer 5

He doesn't really want to divorce you.  That's why he keeps saying he will do it and doesn't.  

Answer 6

Obviously the man still loves you, he's just confused right now, he probably doesn't want the divorce but he might have to much pride to say that he doesn't.  

Answer 7

yea because he has to pay to get one. what a loser why don't you do it & leave him yourseld before he leaves you.

Answer 8

Sounds like a momma's boy who wants the perks of a dating relationship but none of the responsibilities of marriage-sorry.

Make your only contact with him business about the child you have. And in the meantime, file for physical custody, joint legal, and child support....you can in a separation..maybe legal papers will shake him up...sounds like he doesn;t know what he wants, or he wants his cake & eat it, too...time to grow up..he hasn't figured that out yet.

Answer 9

He DOESN"T want a divorce.

He's confused and overwhelmed.

Since nobody here wants a divorce, I suggest you two go check out your local pastor/father/reverend/minister for some couple's couseling and get this marriage back together again.

Do it for your kid.

Answer 10

You dont have to wait for him to do anything, go file yourself and they will serve him.

Answer 11

Switch your kid out for the week end? What is that ? Are you switching your baby with a cat, a dog a car? I think you both need to rethink this marriage, a get your priorities strait. You both have a family to consider, You don't switch out your kid , you give him to your husband for the week end. Sorry but your lac of feeling for your baby is very irritating.  And I'm not saying you don't have feelings for your baby, I'm sure you do it is the way you said it.