My husbands ex-girlfriend called him to ask for money..?

Question

We have been married 2.5 months. He dated her briefly before we meet. She called him this morning to ask for money. She claims that she moved out of state and that things aren't working out and she needs money to feed her kids. Not his kids, but her kids by 4 or 5 different fathers. She doesn't know he's married, so I asked him if he told her. He said no, but he did mention that he's moving to Houston. Why didn't he tell her that he was moving to Houston with his wife? How hard is that? His answer for the money should have been "NO!". Instead he told her that he'd have to look into it. He tried to compare loaning money to her (an ex girlfriend with whom he had been intimate) to me giving one of clients in need $150 to buy a weeks worth of his prescription medications because he was out due to a s***w up between my company and his pharmacy. Not to mention the fact that my client is a disabled married man with children. The money was given to his wife because he's not mobile. The two don't compare. I am beyond angry. He says that I'm over reacting and that I shouldn't be upset.

Answer 1

Whether you two can agree to lending/giving her some money, he REALLY needs to tell her he is married!

She should also understand that the money (if you DO give/lend it) is a one-time only thing.

Answer 2

The fact that he didn't tell her he is married and no he will not be able to give her money anymore is very suspect. Clearly he is hiding the fact that he is married for a reason. He can't compare a loan to your client to him wanting to give money to his ex. You're not overreacting. You need to keep your eye on him. It's obvious he still have feelings for her and they still have some type of relationship.  

Answer 3

You should be upset.

That's all I can say, because this is absurd.

Answer 4

i would be irate.  

Answer 5

Are you that desperate for a man??? Dang!

Answer 6

he is still in love with her. i bet she was the one who dumped him

Answer 7

Make sure you there when he calls her back and tell him to tell her that"MY WIFE SAID NO'

Answer 8

d**n, I'd be pretty pissed off too!!! I wouldn't be as upset if my man atleast told his ex that he was married and was considering loaning her the money IF he talked it over with me first but the fact that he might loan her the money and won't tell her about you...I think he needs to sleep outside tonight...actually all week!

Answer 9

You're over-reacting and not looking too good in the process. He likely told her he'd think about it because, at the time, getting a call out of the blue, he didn't know how to answer. Tell him you're sorry and that the two of you can talk about whether he helps her out. There's nothing to say he can't help someone who asked, but it would be nice if you helped in whatever decision is made.  

Answer 10

actually u r not overractig but u r just acting.try to make  ur husband understand this and make ur point clear.im sure he will understand u.

Answer 11

You should be upset, He shouldn't be supporting her. He should be supporting you. He probably misses or still likes her.

Answer 12

You do have cause to be upset very upset,and he should be held accountable for this he is being disrespectful to you that's not his place, let her call one of those baby daddies it is a reason he's doing this and you should found out want it is because this could a sign of things to come.

Answer 13

yes, i'd be irate. i'd tell him to call her back and say my wife said no.

Answer 14

I'd be very mad.  I don't see why you should put up with that.  And tell him so.

Answer 15

Why are you so upset? She is some one who shared his life once, and now needs money to feed her children. He is the first obvious person she can call for help. He is not going to sleep with her. I think he should help her if he can. Where is your Christian charity?

Answer 16

omg,,, and hes considering it? she needs to go to find a local food bank and then go get state aid for food stamps.. wow... id be furious.  

Answer 17

i dont know if you would read this or not because so many replies already.

but your husband has a big heart. be proud of him

be proud that he still cares for the people that he once had in his life

that is not something that many people can do.

as for the lady who asked for money. how desperate would you have to be do ask money to an ex boyfriend who is now married.

think carefully about her situation and make a decision.

Answer 18

tell him to say....MY WIFE SAID ...NO....this is ridiculous

Answer 19

He's selfish and has his own personal reasons to give her money.

Because he once had feelings for her.

Maybe he has no heart at all?

Only for the people he knows and cares about?

Maybe he just doesn't know the meaning of generosity.

Answer 20

I think you should talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Let him know if it was you and your ex was calling for money how will he act. You only been married for 2 1/2 months and it already problem's Good luck  

Answer 21

If it was his ex-wife, you would probably feel a bit differently. As it's just some girl that he used to date, I'm not surprised that you are livid. This girl seems to be pulling his strings for her own gains. Why don't you phone one of your ex-boyfriends and ask if he wants to go out for a coffee?? I bet that would put things in perspective for him!!

Answer 22

The woman should have family (parents, brothers, and/or sisters) or friends.

There is no reason to ask for money from an ex-boyfriend.

Answer 23

Since he is frank with you, you should try to handle this situation very carefully. If he feels he should help that lady there must be some reason to it. I feel you should talk to that lady and sort out the problem like if you can afford helping her,and tell her clearly not to interfere further, if you wish so..

Answer 24

Well. Technically your husband is a marvellous person! To help out his ex!  Just ignore it. But for now if he goes on "Business Trips" make sure you know the exact place he goes. And if his ex girlfriend calls more than 1 or 2 times a week you should probably get involved, ounce he gives the money he should stop talking to her unless they are good friends now. Good luck! I hope I helped! ☺☻

Answer 25

my boyfriend ALWAYS tells me i'm over reacting. you have every right to be upset i would punch him in the face :]

Answer 26

HUGE RED FLAG! why wouldnt he mention that he was married? why would he think that it is okay to loan her money? that is so disrespectful on so many levels...

Answer 27

Well, people in dire straits turn to anybody they can for help. Maybe she feels that because she gave up the poontang when he needed it, he should help her out a little bit now. If you guys do loan her money, keep in mind that you'll likely never see it again.

Answer 28

I would be very upset if I were you.  The two scenarios are totally different.  He needs to tell her NO and have no future contact with her.

Answer 29

Yeah I'm with you,I'll be upset too.How he feel if an ex-boyfriend ask you to fly to New York,because you two have  fun when your together. Men don't look at things the way women do,he thinks he correct in his actions.Guys like this,they learn by example.So make an example!

Answer 30

I can't believe you doubt your feelings here...

You have every right to be upset.

Why hasn't he told his ex he's married?

Why does he feel that he should even consider giving her money?

Why can't he respect your feelings and act accordingly?

Answer 31

I would be upset too. He should have at least informed her that he was now married, just so she would be aware of his status and that maybe some boundaries would be established..no comparison though. I am sure you were not intimate with your client as he was with her. Men will be what that are.