My husbands ex turned us in falsely 4 child abuse, wtf do we do now? (no sarcasim needed)?

Question

We have done nothing yet, because we are scared to breathe now basically. What would you do? How do i help as a stepmom, or do i just stay out of it? help?

These 2 children actually went along w/ it and lied about what happens in my home, and i have 2 children of my own here to protect from this drama...i'm lost.

Answer 1

You will have to go to court, if you haven't touched 'em then doctors and laywers will bail you out. It will cost, but nothing means more than your babies. Maybe the two who prefer the other woman will be quiet if you (yes i know this will be hard) rearrange custody so they have  more (or less) time with her.  Stand by your husband, and remember no matter what happens as long as you keep your head high and don't fall to her level, or she'll get you with that too.  

          No way to excape the drama, but meditatation might help you breathe better.

Answer 2

Get a lawyer immediately, the very best you can afford, and then take your lawyer's advice.

Keep breathing.

Answer 3

My niece got a divorce and was struggleing to work, take care of the house and kids and he was fighting her all the way.  finally she said, "okay he can have the children"

Much to his suprise.  He was going for joint custody.

About a month later he brought the children back and begged her to take them and never bothered her again.

Marrying a man with children was your first mistake.  They will make your life a living h**l.  Get use to it this is only the beginning.

Answer 4

that really sucks im sorry!! but you cant just sit there or stay out of it!! for your children's sake (God forbid someone takes your children) talk to a lawyer or a police officer to see what you can do!! good luck

Answer 5

Personally what i would do is hire a lawyer and get things taken care of like that. You do that and she will see you mean business. Not to mention the fact that the investigators know what to look for. They are great at what they do and if she is lying they will find out.

Answer 6

My advice would be to make sure that while these kids are in your care you have proof they are not being harmed.I suggest a video camera-such as a nanny cam.I would also at least call an attorney and ask for advice.Next make sure that you have people who will be character witness'for you in case you ever need them,church members,school teachers etc.Also take the kids to a Dr and have the Dr make a report that states they are not being abused.If their mother would teach these kids to lie she should not have custody.Your husband should sue for full custody.GOD-bless and I am so sorry you had to go through this.

Answer 7

using wtf! around children may drive them insane, and also promote you as white trash! NO AFFENCE! its just i no this family who doesnt stop swearing, and it was very trasahy... 2nd: use your kids for good, they can say you didnt beat them up... see if there is scarres, and ever though she is reporting you, maybe shes hiding sometihng... try placeing a webcam or sometihng in her home and see if she is bribing or beating them

Answer 8

Get a lawyer now...   No... not now... RIGHT NOW!

Answer 9

well how old are these 2 children and why are they lying?  if they are very young they often dont know the extent of what they are accusing you of and if mommy says its ok to lie about it...they are going to do it. however, if they are a little older you need to sit them down and tell them what happens to parents who are accused of what they are saying. a child thats around the age of 10 should be able to grasp the concept and if they have a good relationship with you and their father should understand that they dont want you to be in danger.

You really need to look out for your children. make sure that they dont go along with the lie as im sure they will be taken in for questioning.

Answer 10

We went through the exact same thing with my husbands ex.  The oldest boy actually went so far as to put marks on himself and say I did it.  Luckily he was not thinking and it was very obvious that they had to be self inflicted.  CPS cleard us too but you still end up looking over your shoulder all the time. They did it because we were the strict parents who expected them to do chores and have consequences for their actions and be respectful, go to bed on time, eat properly (you know the meanies lol).  She was one who gave no consequences and let them run wild.  She would tell them not to listen to us and every time they got in trouble she would call cps.  What we ended up doing was 1) do not trust these kids 2) went to court to have it ordered for family counseling between the two families to iron out differences 3) continued everything as usual because we were not going to have anyone else tell us how to raise our kids (we have 50/50 custody) 4) for a while we took pictures of the kids the day we got them and the day we gave them back in shorts no shirts to have proof that if there were marks they were not from us.  Good luck!

Answer 11

Fully cooperate with the investigations by the children's services.   Once the investigation is complete, get a copy of the report stating that the allegations of abuse were "unsubstiantiated".    This will come in handy again some day, trust me, it will.    Besides, you want something in writing that says that the two of you have been cleared of the allegations.     The father of your kids may try to take you back to court and claim that you aren't providing a safe environment for the children you had with him.   Maybe not, but it's possible.  

You really can't blame the kids.   I mean, they're kids.   They are under a lot of pressure from their mom.    I am assuming that they come to your house for weekend visits every other week or so.    Most of their time is with mom and if she is planting the ideas in their heads, they are just going with it.   Kids are impressionable and eager to please...............especially their mothers.     And, they are getting loads of attention.  

Maybe your husband could suggest to the children's division that the kids obtain some counseling to help them work through any issues they might have.     Your husband needs to be adamat with his concern that they are suffering from some problems since they are making these things up.  

Or, is it possible that someone else abused them, like mom's boyfriend or the babysitter and they are stating it was their dad because they were threatened.  

I don't think that you should treat them any differently.   Continue to care for them.    Continue to discipline them as you did before.     If you act like you are angry, these problems will only continue.    

I would recommend that your husband not spend time with the kids alone if at all possible.    

Good luck.

Answer 12

i feel for you, i was almost in the same situation with the kids step mother claiming i hit them and stuff, have you been contacted by anyone yet if you havent dont worry about it until you do in most cases they realize befor ethey even contsct you that it is a false claim. if you have been contacted explain to the the person that this is a false claim made up by the mother because of your husbands new life usually they will do an investigation and end it their if the feel the need to take it further offer to take a lie detector test.

Answer 13

mom??? wtf are you doing? and why were you in my room last night??

LuV,

***$LAVEN***