My ignorant annoying mother?

Question

ok i am a mother of a nice 16 year old kid, and im a daughter of a naught so nice parent. my mother is 65 years old, so i need advice on what to do with a few problems listed below.

(1) she believes in witch craft and buys 15 books/dvds/tapes each month on how to heal people with thoughts, and poof away your neighboor.

(2) she feeds her dog chicken and rice casserole each day three times a day and she has four dogs.

(3) she always blames my kid for stuff that she did wrong, and we dont even live with her.

(4) she always comes to my kid asking for money to borrow so she can buy groceries for her dogs, dvds for her withcraft, and just money for rent, and my kid is working and trying to buy a car but cant pay for my mothers voodoo.

(5) she refuses to go to a nursing home and the one time we tried she left and walked 4 miles back to her house.

now i think i covered the basic major problems, now any advice?

Answer 1

maybe try a nursing home a little further away this time

Answer 2

take her to the place were they take crazy people

Answer 3

Ouch.  This is a horrible situation.  Since your mother has been acting like this for some time, it will be difficult to change her behavior.

You really need to put your foot down.

No borrowing money whatsoever.  Tell your son/daughter that they have been told by you that no money is to be given to her for any reason.  Tell your mom if you find out she is asking them for money that you will not allow her over to your house.

Tell her she is making her own choices about what she spends her money on and if she runs out of money for her own groceries that is her fault.

Tell her that you do not agree with her belief in witchcraft, that she can have whatever beliefs she wants, but she is not to discuss it with you as it offends you and you don't want your child exposed to it.

She sounds wacky, but not wacky enough to commit.  And she sounds too stubborn to convince her to go to any kind of managed care.

So at this point, if she wants to continue a relationship with you and your child she needs to abide by your rules.  No exceptions.

If there are some instances where she runs out of money and you are worried about her being able to eat, buy her some groceries (but no chicken or rice) But tell her you will not make a habit of that.

Explain to her if she continue to waste all her money and can no longer afford her rent that she will have no choice but to go to a nursing home.

And explain to her that she will be making that decision herself as it will be a direct result of her own behavior.

Good luck!  This is a hard one.  But if you don't stand firm, she'll just continue her bad behavior.

Hey, if she's really continuing to drive you bonkers and just won't stop, smear some mud on your forehead, shake a chicken leg at her, use a scary voice and pretend to cast a spell on her that will make her and her dogs' hair fall out if she ever asks your kid for money to freak her out! :)

Answer 4

sounds like you could have her committed to the state,,,,sounds a bit Schizophrenic or dillusional

that would solve a lot of your probs,,,,being very serious

Answer 5

What the h**l are you doing, trying to put your mother in a nursing home??  She's 65 for gods sake!!!!  Presumably of sound mind and body.  

What is YOUR motivation???

What's the problem with your mother feeding her dogs well (though a little too often)??

As another person suggested, instruct your daughter not to give her money.

On the books and dvd's, suggest she make greater use of the internet, library and 2nd hand book stores.

Answer 6

You should tell her to stop asking him for money, and tell him not to give to her.  She is a grown woman and it seems she is starting to need a little more special attention.  Maybe not a nursing home, but maybe an at home provider or try to get her a flat mate.It just seems she is a sniveling little toad that needs to take care of herself and be a little more responsible.

Answer 7

1) if she wants to believe in witchcraft or wants to practice it , let her . But tell her that in no way do you or your child want to have any part of it . Then ask her to please to respect your wishes . If she can not respect your wishes then tell her you are forced with no other choice but to stop communication with her .

2) If this is what she chooses to feed her dogs then by all rights let her .

But I would tell her that by her choosing to do this the end results will be that she will eventually run out of money to buy groceries , pay rent , ect. which leads to #3  

3) Tell her that after she spends all of her money on chicken & rice for her 4 dogs and she has no money to buy the things that she needs she is NOT to ask your child for ANY THING .

That you have instructed your child to not give her any money at all .

4) If she blames your kid for any thing try your best to ignore her .

If she persist tell her flat out that you do not want to hear it .

If it still becomes too much for you talk with her doctor and tell the doctor that you are concerned about your mothers mental stability .

After talking with her doctor talk to a lawyer about getting power of attorney so that you can have her put into a nursing home .

Best of luck  

Answer 8

Your mother can do anything she wants to with her life, unless you are legally responsible for her.  However, she has no right to ask any money from your daughter.  Advise your daughter not to giver her any money.  Good luck.

Answer 9

the lovely doors of the nursing home?