My kid is lazy and irresponsible what can i do ?

Question

he is 13 years old does very poorly on his classes he does not want to do his work does not even try i dont know what to do

Answer 1

Where were you when he was 3 yearsw old?  Discipline starts early in childhood not after puberty.  Where were the standards and rules in his early childhood?  You might want to check some books that pertain to puberty as well...seems like you've forgotten what it's like.

Answer 2

I wouldn't be too quick to assume he's "lazy" (and most thirteen-year-olds are reasonably irresponsible in one way or another).

Kids that age have a lot to deal with, and if he's got something like stress or boredom at school it can make giving a hoot about school that much more difficult.

Maybe you should set up an appointment with a counselor (for you and your son).  Maybe a counselor could help you sort out what's really "lazy" and what's something else (like some deeper unhappiness or stress).

When stress hormones get elevated (and what kid that age doesn't have all kinds of stress, dealing with even just his difficult age alone..) it can make it impossible to concentrate on things like reading.

Answer 3

My 12 year old struggles on and off. I can check his grades on line so I know how he is doing in his classes every day. Plus his teachers email me when he has missing assignments. All his teachers have web pages so I can see when he has homework too.

We have rules he has to follow. No TV or video games if he has to study or do homework until he is done.  If he has a missing assignment or is failing any classes - he is grounded - no TV, no video games, no friends. He can go to homework help after school and we make that mandatory for him if he is struggling. We also reward him when he is doing well by allowing him to play video games, have friends over, or by getting him a prize if he passes all of his classes for a 6 weeks.

Make a plan, stick to it, and enforce it. It is a lot of work for me to double check him all the time, but believe me it is worth it and it is working. he has all A's and B's right now.

Answer 4

When the best time avaiable for both of you during the day sit down with him and have him do his homework, and maybe he doesn't do it because hes not doing to well at all anyway. I really think you should try this because I remember not wanting to do my homework because I didn't get it. Make sure they understand what they are susposta bedoing and if they can't get motivated and don;t need the help then set consequence for homework not being done and reward him for getting it done.

Answer 5

Set standards of what you expect from him.  You can set up a punishment/reward program and stick to it.  Show him that it does matter and he will be rewarded or punished depending on his performance.

Answer 6

PUNISH HIM

Answer 7

First find a place to have him tested,  learning disability could be at the root of his problems.  If not, Is he being bullied at school?   If it is just laziness, then stop it now.  Set a time for homework and both of you sit at the dinningroom table.  Time for you to do some bill paying or whatever.  Keep checking his progress.  Quiz him on what he is doing.  The end result is, he will get his work done just to get out of your way.

My son was having the same problems, around 7th or 8th grade.  I took him to Huntington Learning Center and had him tested.   Nothing wrong but the testers realized my son was disorganized and  did not know how to take notes. Today he has his MBA in finance and said the best thing I ever did was drag his butt down there.  I would sit in the parking lot for two hours reading a book while he underwent the relearning process. It was money well spent, I saved a fortune in aspirin for my headaches.