My kids are 4 and 2. Will they love me or resent me for their childhood?

Question

They dont live with me. I pay child support and visit when I can. once a week with 4 yr old. holidays with 2 year old but thats gonna change as soon as i go to court. if they never live with me and i never give them expensive things rather always be a phone call away, always attend school functions and help with homework will my kids hate me or love me?

Answer 1

I think if you plan to be with them and stick through it they are not going to hate you or resent you but if you and the wife are constantly fighting, then they will hate and resent both of you.

Answer 2

depends on what the person who is taking care of them says to them. if they talk you down to the kids they will hate you. eventually they will learn the whole story from both sides and form their own opinion. my best advice is to do everything you can for them. no matter how small. you should visit more and a toy from walmart wouldnt hurt and remember their birthdays, christmas etc.. support them in school and activities like sports etc.. and you will be in the good. as long as they know you care about them they will love you so show your love anyway you can. good luck

Answer 3

Your kids won't ever hate you. You're doing the right things. Kids don't' want expensive t hings, they want attention and love from their parents. Keep on doing what your doing and I hope that you get to spend some more time with your kids. Good luck!

Answer 4

Make your time quality time.  When with them focus on them.  Turn off the TV - turn off your cell phone.  Read with them, play with them, tell them you love them, carry their pics in your wallet and let them know, let them know they mean the world to you.... those things will make an impact that will last.  When they mature they will better understand the circumstances.  

Answer 5

Well ,show the kids love, pay good attention to them and they should love you .But, even when you live with your children that is no guarantee either .just hope whomever is raising your kids is doing the right thing by them

Answer 6

just be a supportive, loving father whenever you can. sometimes, kids just need a trusted figure to talk to, and it's hard to see that in a parent who's always riding you about school, etc. if their mother is good at being their mother, let her be the strict, harsher of the two of you. i'm not saying to let them do whatever they want. i'm saying to always support them, and never pick a fight with them. if you can do that, they'll never hate you.  

Answer 7

They won't hate you, but they'll feel like you were never there for them... you may be trying your hardest to see them as much as you can, but they will still feel as if you were never there. They might feel a bit more needy for your attention, and as they get older they will probably understand the situation more. Once they get old enough to understand the situation, they may feel more gratitude towards you...

No they won't hate you...

Answer 8

As long as you are being involved in their life they wont hate you. The most important thing is to be there for them through out the years to come. Stay positive and honest, loving and understanding is all you can do.

Answer 9

You don't have to live with them, you don't need to give them anything except attention and love, love, and more love.  Your kids will adore you if you do what you say you are going to do.  

Answer 10

You just keep on doing the best that you can..spending good quaility time when you do see them

Answer 11

My husband's dad left when he was 3 and his brother was a baby.  He always sent them "things" but never told them he loved them, never came to see them, moved away from them so that they'd have to travel on a plane to see him.  My husband is 32 now.  His dad is not and has not been a part of his life for years.  Stay involved, don't move away, see your kids as often as you can.  Time spent w/ them is far more important than money spent on them.  

Answer 12

your kids will not hate you

you are doing the best you can to be with them and they know that

i wouldn't call what you have for them hate.. it's love  

Answer 13

I don't see what else you can do.  Stay involved.  Expensive things are not a requirement. Believe in yourself.

My son (11) lives with me part time.  Fortunately, my ex and i cooperate.  The only real hassle seems to be that we've got to support two households.  It's a real strain.  And college is going to be a bear.

My ex has recently moved to another town.  Its partly so that my son will have better opportunities for his music.  It's starting to be a drag, but i have supported it.

My ex has this idea that since by law i only have to do child support for five years, that i'll stop payments.  It's really stupid.  I'm never going to let my child fall into poverty, even part time. Or my ex, for that matter.  But i haven't informed her.  I'm trying to encourage her to look for a something that will pay her what she needs.  She's got a master's degree... it shouldn't be that hard.

Answer 14

i think as long as u dont do bad things with ur life as far as going out to party drinking , drugs , stuff like that then they'd find out and they  would  think that you rather be doing that than spending it with them but i think u should do something with ur life make them feel proud of u even if u didnt spend it with them then they could see u as a good person and maybe still look up to u

Answer 15

if you show them love they will love you back all kids resent their parents for something but that doesn't stop them from loving them. my father is way less involved in my life then you are in your children's and i still love him. i just wish i could see him more often, but that makes me bette appreciate the time we share. love is more valuable than money my dad gives me money for my bday and holidays but he doesn't attend any of my school functions and i'd have to say that would mean more to me. so don't worry you are doing the best you can. your kids are too young to realize that now but when they're older they will.

Answer 16

they will love u most !

children dont want expensive gifts beside love of theie mother

who loves them MOST !

god bless u

take care

Answer 17

I have learned that you can never be a perfect parent and a child doesn't need a perfect parent, they just need a good enough parent.  The fact that you are concerned enough to ask the question and that you care shows that you are doing your best and that is all anyone can do.

Answer 18

Hi there!

I think you don't have to worry too much about how they will feel at this point in time.

I grew up in with my mom since I was 3 years old. in my early childhood, there were certain stages where I hated my father for cheating on my mum and divorcing her, at another stage, I also blamed my mum for not getting another father for me.

However, as I grew older, I began to realise that no matter what, they are still my parents and I should not hate my dad.

As a child grows, they will understand that all parents love their children and want the best for them. If you do your best to love them, I'm sure they will be able to feel your love and not grow to hate you.

They may go through stages when they may not understand why thier mom and dad have to go separate ways or why mom has another man and dad has another gal but eventually, as they grow older, they will understand more about such things.

Just do your best and never give up loving them and I'm sure they will eventually understand.

God Bless!

Answer 19

if u do the best u can they will luv 4 trying.

Answer 20

as long as you're there for them, that's all kids are worried about.  when they get older, they're going to see you as being there for the school functions, sports, various activities, spending as much time with them as possible....keep up the good work.