My life a big mess can anyone help?

Question

I'm 32 and have two children , but about 2 years ago a split up with the father of my children i still live in the house and my ex is happy living the sinlge life with his brother.

About a year and half ago i found my current boyfriend the love of my life, he helps me through all my depression and panice attacks as i've been of work because of this, But there is one thing that is gettting to me, i know that before we were together he went to Thailand and paid to have s*x with a bar hooker, he told me that she was fat and ugly (bullshit). But it makes me sick to the stomach nothing that he would go that low.

I have asked him to leave but he said hes not moving out of my and my ex house, i dont know what to do as with me not working and being very ill with depression and i self harm, sometimes if it werent for my kids i would curl up and die.

I could sell the house but that take time,

Help

Answer 1

You're worth better than this guy and you know this deep down.  He is playing on your insecurities and his own.

He's scared of losing you....but he's moody.

He doesn't speak to you....and tells you you are too s**y.

You asked him to leave...and he says he won't go.

Look, none of this is doing you any good at all. I am not surprised that you have depressed. Please seek advice on how to get rid of him because I think you would be a lot happier without him bringing you down and with him gone you'd be much more likely to meet someone better.

Answer 2

You can have him evicted from your home.  

What has happened here, is you have met someone who is insecure and controlling.  He would love nothing more than for you to remain scared, panicky and depressed forever, because then he can dictate your life, and not have to look at what a mess he is.

You don't need a man in your life, but you do need therapy, because you're depressed.  You should sell the house, and move into something more affordable, moreover, you should get a job and/or go back to school.  There are literally tons of programs available for single parents, and a local community centre or women's centre should be able to help you find out what exactly is the best fit for you.

The important thing is that your children need the best "you" to grow up to be the best "them".  And you will never, ever be your best self as long as someone is around controlling your life.

Call the cops, get this guy out, slap a restraining order on him, whatever it takes.  Once you've got your life together, THEN you'll meet Mr. Right, and you'll wonder why you ever bothered with this creep.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Look it sounds to me that you need to either get arestraining order against him or have someone asisst you in removing him from the residence. Do you ned help doing so? Let me know where you are and if you need help.

Answer 4

i can understand the way you feel about what he did, but it was before he was with you. you either have to separate or work things through and forget about it.

i would say sit down and talk about it, and the fact that he gets moody when you go out. if its going to work, these things have to be talked trough calmly without arguing.

don't know if you are or not, but maybe you should seek professional help for your depression

Answer 5

Give your guy a break.  Relationships start at day one when you get together.  History is exactly that...  unless there are remnants or patterns associated such as wild and crazy friends from the wild and crazy party days or an ex-lover who still calls and such.  I would have some professional counseling if i were you just to smooth out the wrinkles in your life.  you should find that counseling will help you to cope with past feelings and emotions as well as improving your daily life to prepare you for the future.  The world is as great as you want to make it.  Just don't be scared to make that first step in self-betterment.  

Answer 6

"The love of your life"? A true love does NOT go abroad to f... with another woman. We all have more strength than we think we have, use your "reserve" to sell your house and get rid of that "love of your life".

He may have listened to you and he may have been a good support when you needed it, but then what happened? Let yourself rest from men for some time, sell the house and start again (not to far away from your childrens´school or their friends). A change in life is probably the best for you to do at the moment. You have gone from one disappointment to another. Raise, woman, you can do it! And try not to take this out on your children by being angry or miserable etd.

Hug to you!

Answer 7

Everyone has a past..you have one too..

You both need some counselling by the sounds of things..both pretty screwed up by past activities and relationships..get help..doctor..samaritans..marriage guidance..and get it soon

Answer 8

talk to a friend of the court,or police ,find out the local law and evict him and ge a restraining order.

Answer 9

It has happened to others, you are not alone.

Order the boyfriend out, and get a court restriction.

Do not buy any part of his story, sympathize or reconsider this move.

Go on raising your children, remain with counseling and an anti-depressant.

Eat a simple, pleasant diet, lots of water and ensure good digestive health and regularity.

Get some mild exercise, go out without fear or panic, walk, and meet people in clubs or groups.

Answer 10

I've read your question and was impressed with the way that guy was taking care of you..until I came to the part about him not moving out when you asked and how he doesn't  want you to go out with your friends. I have to say ..you need to be very careful of this man , this is the start of a very unhealthy relationship. It appears he is trying to control you and as you are quite vulnerable  at this moment with your health issues he could be taking advantage of the situation...if you really want him out of the house then you need to get someone else involved...if he is isolating you , that's is all part of the plan...be very very careful.

Answer 11

I am sure he only was with that hooker for the experiance, most males do that kind of thing. and that is in his past, why are you worring aout that? does he know every nitty gritty detail about your past? why would you want im to move out if he is the love of your life and helps you out so much???? weird.....are you on meds cuz you have issues. it sounds like you either need t be on meds or you need to switch your medication. depression can be helped!!!! and it may even help you get over the thai thing, just be grateful that he is open and honest with you, jeesh i always get the liars who are too dumb about the lying and then i find out anyway~