My life is a mess, and I need your help!

Question

I got married this past December, me and my husband been together for 4 years before we got married and moved in together. After the wedding I slowly started missing things like his attention, compliments and the nice things he used to give me and until I stopped having it. I told him that he is lacking it towards me more than once, he said that some guys think physically more than thinking emotionally! When am out of the house he doesnt call me he doesnt ask how my day went, nothing! I have to do it, I have to text him say i love him!!!!! He says that he is not as satisfied cause i dont sleep with him much! I dont because I dont believe I have that Hormonal level to where I would want it everyday, plus the fact that he is lacking the attention towards me pushes me away! Its like we are two people living under the same roof, we dont fight nothing, its like getting by! Anyway 4 days ago I met this guy online, he lives in Dubai! I know i might sound insane, but this is different, he is not like any other guy I have spoken to before! Some might think well he is another guy online he will say what I want to hear! Thats not true, I talked to guys online before and I know when they are messing around cause I do the same back! But this guy is religious, he fears his God he doesn't wanna get in the middle between me and my husband, but for some reason after talking online for 6 hours for 3 night we both feel like we have that connection that will not go past online conversations and phone calls because its too good to be true. He fills in this gap that my husband is lacking towards me, and he is not doing this for competition because I told him that divorce is not on my list for any reason because of my reputation in my community! Now I don't know how long or far can this go, all i know is that he gives me the smile I been missing two years ago! what do u suggest? please help me I am a mess!

Answer 1

I think you really need to go to marriage counseling, or if he refuses to go with you, then go see a counselor by yourself.  I'm sure it is extremely frustrating that your husband isn't giving you what you feel like you need, but things are not going to get better unless y'all confront these problems head on and talk about them together.  Marriage counseling will help y'all learn how to communicate better, and if you go to counseling by yourself, your counselor could help you learn how to approach your husband with your concerns in a loving way.  You may have already done this, but when you're upset, it's easy to confront somebody in a way that makes them feel like they're being attacked.  If they feel this way, they're going to become defensive and more than likely you aren't going to solve anything.  If you approach him when you aren't feeling angry and calmly explain to him how you're feeling, he'll probably be more open to what you have to say.  Just make sure that you give him an opportunity to explain to you how he feels as well.  

As far as the guy on the internet, this is dangerous territory.  This is only going to create more problems in your marriage.  It may make you feel better temporarily, but the smallest emotional connection with another man (in this way) can cause big problems.  Think about how you would feel if the situation were reversed and your husband was talking with another woman about these things.  I would suggest that even though it would be difficult, to cut your connection with the internet guy immediately.  The longer you talk to him, the more attached you will get.  You'll never have a good marriage if you look to other men for what you want from your husband.  I wish you the very best.

Also, it never hurts to pray!  :)  

Answer 2

dude i don't think you love your husband, why don't you divorce him and save the time and hurt that you are doing to your husband. You sound like you are going into something deep and dangerous. So make your decisions clearly and be responsible of what you're doing.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear your situation, i think your husband is getting attention elsewhere just like you. maybe you need to be honest with him and tell him everything. Honesty goes a long way..

Answer 4

I think you are fooling yourself and this is another form of being unfaithfully in your Marriage,  Why can you not talk to a Good friend.  This is not a Good Way to help what is going wrong in Your Marriage,  Two wrongs do not make a Right.  You will only feel worst later,  No matter how good you may feel in the Short run.