My life is going down hill.....way faster than usual.....help I'm afraid of doing something bad...?

Question

So I know there are always people worse off than myself ie: poverty stricken children in other countries and the such but it feels as if my life just gets worse each day. I've been thinking about suicide on and off since I was 13 (and don't say if I wanted to die that I'd be dead already - it isn't that easy or simple) We've had 2 family breakdowns, my ex step dad was a totally perverted creep and a fraud, I have no friends, I'm messed up in the head, way behind other people my age in a lot of areas, I THINK have Social Anxiety Disorder and this will sound horribly pathetic but my body really gets me down as I have major abnormalities beneath my clothes.....I'm not trying to whinge but I'm just telling ya'll what you need to know to answer this......my family has basically turned to rubble and I'm not happy with myself as a person....I think I'm depressed 'cause I cry every day for no apparent reason ans it's usually random....I'm scared I'm going to harm myself and when I catch myself thinking of fool-proof ways to kill myself I get so freakin' scared.....I've contemplated standing infront of a train on a track near where I live but I'd never want to traumatize any driver or any passengers......and I feel as if the only reason I'm still around is because of my mum and brother......they're depressed too. How can I stop these thoughts and emotions WITHOUT resorting to seeing a counsellor? I need more of the ani-depressants I took when I was 14 (I'm now 16) but to get them I need a prescription and to get the prescription, I need to see somebody. Please help me!

*No web sites, please* And also I've talked to my mum about it but it just makes her more depressed to know I feel this way*

Answer 1

Talk to a therapist. You may feel uncomfortable about it, but it'll really help. Therapy really helped me. And It can help you too. You NEED this help. If you're thinking about killing yourself, you need to talk to a therapist. Why don't you want to talk to a therapist? Please, don't kill yourself.

Answer 2

Get back to the counselor ASAP so you can have some talk therapy and get the medications you need.

Depression is a brain problem and nothing to be ashamed of.  There are chemicals in your brain that you have either too many of or not enough of or they can't talk to each other so the medicines help your brain function the way it should.

If you notice the depression happening in cycles, say every 3 months or so, you may have manic depression/bipolar.  ONLY a professional can diagnose you.

I've battled depression myself and know for a fact that that teen years

SUCK

so don't feel all alone - it is a rite of passage for humans.  Use your experiences to learn and from that learning to grow.

Suicide solves nothing.  Better times are just around the corner, really.  You won't know the good times until you live through the bad times, so just take it easy on yourself - one moment at a time.

There is a lot of misery in this world, but get your mind off of it - focus on things you like - music, dancing, birds, flowers, trees, fashion, puzzles, chatting online, drawing.  

Be stubborn and refuse to be sad.

Answer 3

Its ok to feel that way my dad has depression and even though i dont understand it that well i know how to deal with most of it.  My dad sees a counselor and you know what it probably has been the best thing for him he has been happier since he started seeing one.  It would be for the best if you went to see one or make an appointment with you doctor and have your doctor set up medication for you.  Suicide is not the solution. You just have to realize that you are beautiful inside and out and no one should tell you different Just remind yourself of that everyday and do something for your self once and a while that makes you feel good and special.  I understand its hard because i think i have a slight case of depression myself because i have though about suicide myself but then i think about all of the things i would have to do and it rules it out for me.  Just remember that your life is worth living no matter what our feeling or what you believe. Stay beautiful

Answer 4

I'm glad that you realize that if you do something to yourself it will hurt or traumatize someone else.  Please don't do anything like suicide, or even hurt yourself. Most of us do at some time in our lives consider suicide. Please find someone that you can talk to. Keep in mind that anything that doesn't kill you, will make you stronger.

Answer 5

don't hurt yourself

if i was in your position i'd hunt down that abusive step father or whatever it was that made you guys broken in the first place.

Answer 6

Ask yourself: "Why do I feel depressed, and when did I first start to feel this way: can I associate this with any recent change in my life?" (if so, it is probably situational depression: counselling, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is indicated). Or, was it a more gradual thing, with no apparent cause? (nutritional deficiencies, hypothyroidism, environmental toxicity, or reactions to some medications, etc., becomes more likely as the cause).

Antidepressants work quicker than the following; 2 - 6 weeks, but you may have to adjust dosage, or types, whereas St. John's wort is effective for most people, tolerance doesn't develop, and the few side effects don't occur often, and even then are normally not severe.                

           It doesn't cause sleeping problems, or weight change, but usually takes at least 2, and generally 4 - 6 weeks to become effective. A recent, independent German double blind study showed it to be as effective as Sertraline (marketed in the USA as Zoloft: a commonly prescribed antidepressant) in cases of major depression, with far fewer side effects, and those were generally better tolerated, with a lower rate of discontinuation.  Unlike antidepressants, where sexual dysfunction is a common side effect, it happens much more rarely with St. John's wort (I have noticed no effect in this area).  

Remember back to a time when life was full of promise, or a day when you felt particularly good, or possibly excited from a good result. Emotional states are associated with memories, and if it isn't major depression, this method can help.            

           A multidimensional approach to treating depression without medication follows. All except for no. (7.) are safe to use with medication, but not St. John's wort, because of interactions, and it's sensible to check out anything else first with your doctor.              

      (1.) Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or grapefruit, or their FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it. Also take a vitamin B complex which is certified as being 100% of natural origin; a deficiency in vitamin B9 (folic acid, or folate) is known to cause depression. Around 30%  - 40% of depressed people have low vitamin B12 levels. Depressed females using the contraceptive pill may benefit from vitamin B6 supplements. ~~~  (2.) Work up slowly to at least 20 minutes minutes of exercise, daily, or 30 - 60 mns, 5 times weekly. Too much exercise can cause stress, which isn't wanted when dealing with depression. ~~~ (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection, and keeps mental activity out of less desirable areas of the brain).              

      (4.) Use daily, a relaxation method and/or yoga, and/or Tai Chi. ~~~ (5.) Initially, at least, some form of counselling, preferably either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. ~~~ (6.) Maintain a mood chart, and daily activities schedule. ~~~ (7.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, (the strength varies, but the supplier should be using a standardised hypericin content, so follow the directions)  or  supplements, such as SAMe,  or Inositol (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets, or mail order: view section 55).

If 5HTP is used to boost serotonin levels, (which are low in depressed people) it is best taken with a high carbohydrate, minimal protein meal, like pasta with tomato & basil, and avoid protein for 90 minutes, before, and after, to maximise the amount crossing the blood/brain barrier.            

     Also, 80% of people in the Western world have low magnesium levels, and these are known to cause depression & anxiety. Try the magnesium supplement types shown in http://www.real-depression-help.com/ Some of these will be available in pharmacies, or supermarkets. Low levels of calcium, and potassium can also cause depression. Have your blood tested, and correct any deficiencies, preferably through improved nutrition.            

      An improvement can be noticed in as little as a week, if a deficiency is the cause. Also,  iodised salt is much preferable to regular salt (one of the treatments in books on depression is iodine drops).  Try to imagine, as vividly as possible, a time in the not too distant future, when you have overcome this temporary setback, and things are much better. Suicidal thoughts: Phone: [phone] (U.S.A.) & U.S.A. Nat. Phone: (800) 442 HOPE or 1 800 827 7571..girlsandboystown. Phone: [phone] and TDD: 800 448 1833  CANADA: 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE) & 514-723-4000.  Call:1800 999 9999.

EMAIL:  [e-mail] Phone: [phone] www.yellowribbon.org/ or: [e-mail] web addr

Answer 7

Wow.  I'm so sorry.  I really want to help, but I'm not sure how to.  Is there a specific reason why you don't want to go see a counselor?   Anyway, I know you're an Atheist, but if it helps at all, I am praying for you.  I'm NOT trying to covert you btw.  I just thought it would help to know that someone cares.

Answer 8

I can't give you an answer to your problem sorry, However I know how you feel sort of In your depressive state I have no idea whats wrong with me. If wanna chat just email me, it would be helpful to talk to someone who has simular issues as myself.  

Answer 9

Hey Aimee, first things first. At the moment I have a very bad migraine, and am insomniac (thinking of going to bed in a while), so my answer might not sound like the best answer around here, but I'm speaking from the heart.

Don't commit suicide, okay? Let me tell you a bit about my childhood - *where to start* my dad hated my mom, my sis hated my mom, and now that I'm at uni and in another country from my parents, my little sister too has taken to abusing my mom. My childhood memories are full of fights in the house, where my sister would hit my mom and... anyways, you get the picture. I had many panic attacks during my teens, at one point my blood pressure was high enough to generate a stroke.

My point is, it is YOUR life, see? People might say many blah about "humans are social creatures" but ultimately, you have the right to sculpt your life. You shouldn't let a perv-of-a-stepdad or someone similar to damage your life - it is YOUR life. I don't know how cliche I sound, but sometimes cliches are closer to the truth than long-fangled psychoanalysis. Think about what I said here.

Now, about the help bit: try smiling at least once a day. Think of something nice - like a fantasy that you want to be a part of. Then think of how you can make that fantasy your reality. Bet it will make you smile :) ! If your current reality is so bitter, it is better to get away from it for a while. Write down practical ways of how you are going to make your life better - maybe get a part-time job, earn some money to buy simple things that give you pleasure in life. Stuff like that. Get my drift? Don't think of suicide, I caught myself thinking of suicide today and how I was going to absolve my roommates from blame, and I was like "Yikes!! What's the matter with my head?!"

If you want to talk to me (as a friend of course, I'm no shrink, but a friend is way better than a shrink, I think!), you can email me.

We have some other stuff in common too - a body that the current soceity just CAN'T accept as "beautiful", and Social Anxiety Disorder.

N'ways, good luck girl, if my tips don't work, at least give me one smile when you reach the end of this post :)

Ciao.

Answer 10

it seems to me that you think waaaaaay too much.

like, if you leave all your problems on your mind and just let them weigh you down, you're going to be miserable (which you are)

STOP

stop thinking, stop stressing, stop analyzing

how has over processing your thoughts and faults helped your current situations??

If the world around you is going crazy, tune them out for a bit and start working on you

first, find some friends!! or someone you can talk to other than your family,

having someone to talk your worries out with helps a lot

I recommend joining this yahoo group

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Teensadvic...

( i know you said no websites, but talking to people online is easier, people are less judgemental)

or if you want, talk to me ([e-mail]) I'm like, the most amazing person to talk to ever(lol jk jk)

it's ok to cry, I cry too

sometimes, you have to cry for no reason, you know? it's therapeutic almost

don't commit suicide. Could you imagine how much you'd hurt your family?? i'm not suicidal but thinking of the people I'll hurt if I ever was kills me inside

use that as motivation

don't wish you were dead, how does that help you??

you can spend all the time you want wishing you were but it doesn't accomplish anything

Embrace life, smile when you feel down

it makes you feel stupid but it helps

think of the future, and imagine it big

the more unrealistic, the better ;)

lastly, (then I'll shutup, I swear) this might sound stupid but get your thyroid levels checked

an over or under active thyroid glands can cause depression and can be harmful to your overall health

just ask your docter, or go online for simptoms of an overactive or underactive thyroid, and if they apply to you then let your mom know and have her take you to a docter, they can describe medication to get your thyroid levels back in track and help with depression

I'm sorry you feel like this, I know it sucks like no other, I can relate

I hope you find the right advice from one of the answers here, no one should ever feel this down in life.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*...

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us."

- Alexander Graham Bell

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience. "

- Victoria Holt

"Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end."

- Unknown

In Honor of Stupid People (to make you smile)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

Answer 11

Please don't commit suicide, please.  You don't want to lose your life and end your own life over something like this, because, the honest truth is, reality WILL hit you a lot harder later on, so you should just deal with whatever is happening and remember every day you wake up and realize its a new day; a day to start all over, and everything from before is the past, and you can't go back to change it; you can start new and start over.  And, by the way, is that the way you spell your name Aimee?  I really, really, like that name.  I want to name my child that.