My life is kinda crappy right now. Need a pep talk!

Question

About a year ago I had it all - a great job, my own place, I wasn't fat, cute wardrobe, I had a cute car and plans to do something really fun and cool in a different country. So, I lost my job due to the recession before I left for my assignment abroad so I had to waitress for the short term before I left. That was fine. But my assignment abroad ended up being a disaster and it made me sad that my dream had died and I had to come home. So upon coming home I found another job in my town but ended up turning it down to move in with my boyfriend in another city. Now I can't find a job in my new city and I feel very undesireable by employers because it looks like I am a complete flake - the first job that I was laid off from, then the waitressing, then the assignment abroad, now I've been unemployed for so long. I'm really not a flake and until a year ago I always had steady jobs with increasing responsibilities. So, no house other than my boyfriend's place, my stuff is all in storage which is costing me out the butt, I gave most of my clothes away before I left the country and the remaining clothes don't fit because I've gained weight, my dream is dead and I feel ho-hum about my career path now (I used to love this line of work), I've gained 15 pounds, I am broke, my family relationships have taken a dive, and I have no friends in my new community. The only thing I have going for me at the moment is my boyfriend but I feel bad like I am a drain on him and my situation is making me depressed and probably not so fun to be around. Any thoughts? I just need a pep talk. How do I turn my life around to where I was a year ago? Thank you!

Answer 1

Go to a temporary job service.  It will get you going again, and give you some money.  This will give you some recent job experience.  Sometimes a person ends up getting hired for a permanent position too.

Go to the mall and start walking everyday.  It is safer than walking outside.  This will get you out around real people again.  

Get your clothes all clean and pressed for the next job interview.  Be ready ahead of time.

Answer 2

It sounds like a lot to shoulder and I'm sure if you think about it all, it can be overwhelming to you.  So, take things one at a time, you have a roof over your head, so I would concentrate on finding a job that you like ALOT.  Those other things didn't work out for a reason, but don't give up on your dreams.  That wouldn't be fair to yourself!   Once you find a job, everything else in your life will fall into place.  You can get your stuff out of storage, you can buy new clothes, you will make new friends at work.  If you don't want a job in the same career path as before, get into something else, something that you enjoy.  You can't give up, that is not a choice in life.  We HAVE TO move on.  You can do it.  Time will heal things, and this too, shall pass!!!!!

Answer 3

maybe you should have stopped living your life for your boyfriend.  Its easy to say your depressed and get people to feel bad for you but if you dont take these feelings as lessons learned then they really have no purpose.

What do you mean you arent a flake? You turned down a job to move in with your boyfriend and give up everything you could have had yourself.  Sounds a little immature and flaky to me.

Think about all of the things that lead up until this moment.  Realize that you've done it to yourself. Vow to never do that to yourself again and then start to correct what went wrong.

Its either that or live with it.

Answer 4

You need to get motivated and change your situation. Finding a job can be tough especially right now. Just find something for the mean time and keep looking for work. Everyone goes through ruff patches in life. You just have to stay strong and working towards the future and not dwell on the currently bad situation.

Answer 5

My life is in the **** hole too.. You need to concentrate, focus on what you want,  you know how to get it, so now you do it like Nike- JUST DO IT! self-discipline is the key..I was disciplined for a while & my life started turning around, now im back to being lazy =( its not easy. Just set your mind to it, your only holding yourself back.  

Answer 6

something you might not want to hear....

get in church, put God first....get whatever job you can, save for money.....you can continue to look for a better job while you're working....start exercising (that will make you feel much better about everything)  things will get better.  

Answer 7

I like the first answer... I am not a super religious person, but I really try to put my faith in God and try not to take complete control of my life.

And as far as jumping from job to job.... it will look that way on a resume, but be sure to include a cover letter and let them know how great you really are. When you go to an interview, be bursting with confidence and after the interview, send them a card or email thanking them for their time and assure them that you are the right one for the company. Just try to do and point out things that will make employers look past the "flakiness." I have had many short term jobs and don't have a whole lot of experience, but I completely act myself in an interview and let them know I am confident and can tackle anything they throw at me.

Just give yourself some pep talks, but your big girl panties on and go for it! I've been in your place before and it sucks, but you HAVE to pick yourself back up. No one else is going to do it for you. And you have to make yourself get out and meet people. It's a very scary thing but you gotta do it. Look at www.meetup.com (I think) and find an interest group in your area. You'll meet people with the same interests as you. Join an exercise class too. That will help shed the extra weight and you'll meet friends also.

It might be rough in the beginning but I know you can do it :)

Answer 8

Dang , your life sounds like most of us. Things don't always work the way we dreamed it would.so you had some experiences in the real world. This happens to all of us.If you have any thing to offer an employer, then use it to your advantage. 15 pounds is nothing. I gained 30 the first year I was out of the military, and lost it when I started a job that required more energy. Decide what your strong points are, you have them, and look for a more impressive permanent position. If you need qualifications, then take jr. college courses, or any type of schooling.If you were ok'd for overseas work, you must have something valuable to contribute. I didn't give up and sit home wishing and found a great job, because I used my talents, you can too.