My life is over...need some advice

Question

well I am 19 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He is the only person i have dated or had s*x with or anything like that.

Now I am pregnant and we are going to keep it. I love my boyfriend a lot but now I am starting to freak out. By me having this baby I would move in with him and I feel like my life is over!

I knew I would want to be with him but before that happened I always kinda wanted to be single and live my life a little. Now I do not have a chance to do that and I am freaking out.

Please helpppp...am I crazy to feel like Im going to be missing out on a lot of my life with not dating or having s*x with anyone else? Or experiencing life in general?

Answer 1

You are having hormonal freakouts...  this is so normal.  It's also normal to wonder about "what ifs" when you make a major life change and a baby is such a thing.

If you didn't want to be "tied down" you probably should have prevented the pregnancy instead of having issues about it now.  

Answer 2

My daughter is kinda going thru the same thing and so did I.  She is 17 and just had a baby, lives with her 19 year old bf.  She has dedicated her life to raising this baby and also takes care of his 2 yr old when she is there.  They have 50-50 custody.  I did the same thing, only I was older.  I dedicated my life to my kids and now I'm having the time of my life.  There will be plenty of time for whooping it up later.  I know 40 sounds waaay old to you but really it isn't.  Freaking out is perfectly normal!!!!  All new moms do.  Just relax, mentally prepare, and hopefully you have a good support system (ppl to vent/talk to)  There will be plenty of life left to live later.

Answer 3

Please Please Please take this advice.

I am 20 (as of 3 weeks ago).

I am not pregnant, but a lot of my friends our age are. They weren't raised in a Southern Baptist church like me but are getting married to save face. Look, I have the church behind me as a reason to save face... but I told my mom and dad that if it EVER happened... I'm not getting married.

You should be honest and fair to yourself. You only have one life. You don't need to get married out of convenience or because it seems like you should due to the pregnancy.

As another woman, I would repect you for staying single and being a good mom more than getting married because you got pregnant.

If you are meant to marry the father, you will... but let it happen as if you two weren't parents.

Answer 4

Well a life is growing inside of you, I think is normal to feel like that. However, you life is not over most women look more mature and interesting after having their first baby.Furthermore, a baby is a blessing wait till he/she give you a smile you won't trade that for nothing in the wold.

Answer 5

Ok, for one your life is not over.. it's just beginning a new chapter... and two why did you have s*x (or at least not use an arsenal of birth control) if you even had a thought in your mind that you might maybe want to date other people when you are older?

Now is your chance, if you love your boyfriend and he loves you and you both love this new child you are bringing into the world, then you really aren't missing out on anything... you are just going about your major life events in a mixed up order.

You two now have the chance to work hard to help your new little one to have the best life you two can possible give them. Than in and of itself is hard work but very rewarding and joyous.

You can still experience life, just maybe a little differently than you would have thought 6 months ago...

Answer 6

If you were my daughter, I would tell you to turn to God for the only answer...No matter what, He did give you that life you are carrying,,,,

There are many organizations that can help you, Christian or Jewish, or whatever...ask one of them to direct you to the place you will be comfortable with...

Your life is by no means over, there is plenty of life to enjoy... I had two girls in your situation, and they are doing well... & in their 50's plus, now.i could be your grandma... if you have one, go talk to her...

God bless......  

Answer 7

well, the fact that you said "and we are going to keep it" suggests that the baby wasn't planned, so perhaps you should have thought about the rest of your life before getting pregnant. no disrespect or anything.. at least you are in love with your boyfriend and your boyfriend is sticking around. it could be worse..you could be on your own and have no one to support you. so your life isn't over in that sense. if you were on your own, it would be much worse. you will be able to experience life in general if you really want to..it's up to you whether you date or have s*x with anyone else though. splitting up with your boyfriend is going to be hard on your child. maybe you could talk to someone about this and get their thoughts on it..maybe a family member or a friend. perhaps you're just thinking the worst, because you're depressed or something. things might work out ok once the baby's born. just because you have only been with one person, doesn't mean your relationship has to be boring. good luck.