My little boy has had 2 encounters with another child and I need advice on how he should handle this.?

Question

My son is 7 and the other boy is 5 or 6. Both incidents have happened while sitting outside waiting in the parent pick-up area. The day before yesterday my son said the other kid licked his finger and ran it down the side of my sons face. I asked my son what did he do after that kid did that to him and he said he told on him. Yesterday my son said the little boy threw dirt in his face. Then he told me he threw dirt back at the kid. I, of course, do not want him to have to be dealing with this. His own teacher is not outside with them. I would like to be able to give my son advice on how to handle this, but other than "tell on him, or hit him back" I don't know what to say. Telling on him didn't work, and hitting or throwing something back is only going to get my son in trouble. Please give me some words of wisdom for my little boy. Thanks!

Answer 1

You should talk to the teacher and see what they can do.

Answer 2

Get there early and watch...feel free to remonstrate with the child if needed...or his mother!

Answer 3

Tell your son never to hit first, but if the other kid hits him, he has to defend himself. If you defend him, he will always expect you to step in for him. Even at that young age, boys have to learn that its ok to defend themselves.

Answer 4

if your son is bigger than this kid, then if he just grabs the kid, shakes him up a little: it will probably scare him enough to make him leave him the h**l alone

and if he has just grabbed him, he won't get in that much trouble

that kid just thinks he can do whatever he wants, he needs to learn that he can't

Answer 5

Personally your son needs to settle the score, Do something that'll shut that other kid up for the rest of the year, But the right thing to do is to request a Pick up at a different area of the school, It sucks to single out a student like that, but maybe there's something else that can be arranged if you speak with the principle or perhaps the supervisor of the pick up area.

Answer 6

at that age in the UK pupils are collected from teir classroom/ cloakroom door by an appropriate adult; the class teacher is in charge of them while they wait.

It sounds to me as though you need to have a word with the school regarding the level of supervision while the children are waiting. Surely the parents are capable of putting their own children into their own cars? Surely the school has no responsibility - legally or morally - regarding how the children are transported (and, come to that, what happened to walking???). They do however have responsibility for children remaining uncollected on their premises.

Your son did exactly the right thing in telling over the other boy; what is wrong is that nobody could be bothered to do anything. The only other thing I can suggest to him is to stay away from the little so-and-so - but that isn't easy if he's determined to be a nuisance. That or take him quietly round the corner out of sight and equally quietly flatten him. Then sit back down and look angelic.

Answer 7

Why are kids that young left alone outside? I would talk to the school about there policies because until I was in middle school a teacher or security guard was ALWAYS out side with the classes to ensure stuff like this wouldn't happen. I would put him in Karate and teach him a great life lesson "never start a fight, but always finish it". If he gets in trouble with the school you can say that he had been reporting the behavior all along and nothing was done, he had to do something to defend himself if no one else would.

Answer 8

Talk to the parents and school principal,if that fails make a complaint with the police.Once the parents have to pay a fine things get better, I know from past experience.

Answer 9

I would contact the school to let them know your son is having issues with another child during after school pick up. The school may not realize or know there is a problem. My sons was having a problem on the school bus with a boy who tried tripping them, saying c**p and just stupid stuff. I got tired of my kids complaining and tolerating another child's bad behavior so I called the school. Come to find out this child (9 yrs. old) had been in alot of trouble on the bus, but the driver had no clue how to handle him. He got kicked off the bus! Speak up for your child as he is still young. My kids know that they are not to start fights, but IF someone else starts the fight they are too finish it, however I feel somethings can be handled with a phone call. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Um, the kids are five and seven.  Tell him to ignore it, walk away, etc, unless he ACTUALLY hurts him. Retaliation and tattling won't help. Wiping spit and throwing dirt are typical boy/kid things.  If you teach him it's okay to get his panties in a bunch about every little infraction and injustice, he will grow up to be George Costanza.

Answer 11

Talk to the other kids parents

Answer 12

Sadly that is the case these days.  Telling on them never works and you get in trouble if you fix the problem yourself.  I would suggest telling your son to avoid the boy at all costs.  If this doesn't work, you could go to the school and talk to the teacher your self and tell them they need to do something about it since they aren't providing a safe environment for children.  I hope this helps and that everything works out

Answer 13

I would talk to the principal about a good way to deal with the problem.  You and your son may not be the only ones having this problem.  Maybe even ask some of the other mothers if their child has or had the same problems.  Also and of course make sure your son knows to go out of his way to stay clear of the trouble-maker.

Answer 14

You will get lots of words of "wisdom" from people, but here's one that I guarantee will work.

Tell your son to "Never start a fight, but always finish it."

Answer 15

Remind your son that it isn't the child who starts a fight who gets in trouble.. it's almost always the one who fights back....

Tell him to stay right by the teachers who are outside with them while he waits for you, and request a meeting with the other child's parents and the principal of the school.  This child's behavior is inappropriate, and his parents need to know, so they can put a stop to it.  DO NOT confront the parents yourself, get the school in on it.

Good luck!

Answer 16

First of all, I hope there is some adult supervision with the children outside. Secondly, try talking to the child's mom or dad. This has resolved issues in my son's second grade class. Face it, we parents don't always know what are children are like outside of the home.

Answer 17

Just go and speak to your sons teacher about the situation.

I don't think asking your son to hit his classmate or complaining about him will help.

Answer 18

talk to the teacher and make her aware of the situation. Do not interfere yourself as your child will need to learn how to deal with things on his own, but in this case if the child is harassing your son the teacher should be informed. My son had a similar situation in kindergarten a child was harassing him every day taking his things, pushing him and the teacher was not aware and my son finally retaliated by stabbing the other child in the arm with a pencil, well I got called to the school because my child received a referral. At that moment my son was so upset that he did not tell me, because he realized that maybe if he told me he would not have gotten in trouble. Needless to say the other boy was not injured, but he learned his lesson as well. My son is 15 now and he still remembers that kid bullying him and never had another problem in school because he stopped the situation on his own if anyone tried to harass him.  But we both learned a lot on that day so many years ago!

Answer 19

This is always a tough situation but i would call the school and complain and flip out on the teacher. Seriously this works and if it happens again threaten the school and try to blackmail them.

Answer 20

i would talk to the teacher and maybe they can seperate them while waiting for pick up this is typical little boy stuff and despite the thumbs down im gonna get i have 4 kids and always taught them if you get hit and you feel you have to hit back!! the holier then thou ppl and the perfect parents dont agree but let me tell you this my kids werent picked on they werent bullys either but they knew how to show agression when they needed as for your son hes gonna be fine just tell him to deffend himself in what matter he sees fit and if the teachers after you talking to them dont help maybe the principel is next who knows but do things as you see fit to protect your son good luck

Answer 21

talk to the school and see if they can seperate them but honestly dont sweat it theyre boys next thing you kow theyll be friends next week.  Trust me i have two of them that are 6 and 8.

Answer 22

I think this is normal behaviour for boys that age.  It is also an important stage in your son's life in that he must figure out how to deal with adversity.  Unless he is constantly being bullied and becoming withdrawn, I would just let it go.  I wouldn't advise encouraging him to "tell on" the boys who do this.  But, he'll find out for himself!

I know it's tough to watch your child get picked on, but this is a life lesson that he will have to learn to deal with.

Answer 23

This is by far one of the most complicated things a parent has to go through.  Since your son is so young its even harder to explain to him of how to deal with this.  My advice is to "tattle tell" but that doesn't seem to work.  Another thing is to have your son just ignore him.  I think I would personally go up to the school and talk to some authorities.  Let them know that your son is having problems with this boy and his mother needs to know about it.  Always contacting the other parent seems to help in some situations.  They can discipline them better then the school could and knowing that their child is doing this could be changed.  I know this is really hard but I wish you luck and like everything it will soon blow over.