My little boy loves dressing up as a girl?

Question

My son is 5 years old and in the last 6 months or so everytime we go round my friends house, he keeps trying on her little girls dresses and knickers. Is this normal for a 5 year old boy? I try not to bring too much attention to it but the thing is has started to sneak the knickers home with him. He said today that he wishes he was a little girl and that his friend is really lucky to be able to wear dresses. What shall I do and is this normal?

Answer 1

Um, no I don't think it's normal.  I mean I wish I could sugar coat that.. but um.. he's already 5.. hmm

Maybe tell him that boys can dress cute too.. show him different clothing he can wear than just the regular t-shirts and jeans..

I know many straight men who looooooove shoes or looooove to groom themselves like getting pedi's or mani's and they have the big walk in closets.....

I have a plain reg closet and not so girly.. not compared to the guys I know!!  LOL

Answer 2

Totally normal!  Some little girls this age enjoy dressing up as a firefighter or police officer, too.  It's pretty much the same thing....just pretending to be someone else.  

My cousin used to dress up in girls' dresses and play with Barbies until he was about 7 or 8.  Today, he's a happily married man with four kids!

Answer 3

I don't think it is normal, not even for a 5 year old boy. Personally I think children are born with gender preference, only to discover later in life. Love your son no matter what his choice will be. Most of all talk to him, let him know what boys do and don't. Just love him and let him know you love him whether you are uncomfortable with it or not. That's your baby and you can't control his feelings any more than I can control my heart.

Answer 4

I think it is normal. From everything I have heard, it is an experimentation stage in every child's life.

Try getting him some "boy" dress up clothes, uniforms, dinasaurs, dragons, etc. Try dressing up with him, showing him it is ok for him to do it, and not try to hide it.

Explain that these are little boy pretend clothes. Make it fun!

Answer 5

Maybe he just likes the idea of getting "all dressed up". My little brother is five as well and absolutely loves to get dressed up. If he could wear a suit and tie everyday, he would. In fact, for his birthday last month his favorite present was the new suit my parents gave him. Try indulging your son's "fashion side", but stick to boy's clothing.

Answer 6

It's totally normal, especially at this age.  Put a costume trunk together for him with all sorts of costumes like knights, dragons, dinosaurs, astronauts, etc.  Also include capes, hats, crowns, wands, swords, and lengths of patterned fabric for draping togas, curtains, tents, etc.  ALSO include a few fairy or princess dresses, for him to wear when he wants and for his female friends to wear when they come over.  You can, if you wish, make the rule that he can wear the dresses at home and inside only.

My son used to want to be a girl so that he could wear pretty things.  I didn't worry about it.  At 8 he still likes dressing up, but now it's always as an elf, knight, pirate, space police, astronaut or wizard.  But he still has dresses in his trunk so his friends can wear them.

He still likes "pretty colors" but sticks to the ones from the boys section of the store (polo shirts and tee-shirts).  He will wear sweats an knit leggings from the girls section because they fit better (he's very slender), or jackets from the girls that are in colors he likes (they tend to be pretty gender neutral)

I have never limited what he could wear (with regard to gender) but did tell him that other people might have bad reactions to him if he dressed like a girl but that I would always defend him and his right to wear what he wants.  Usually he chooses not to draw that criticism from others and wears boys' clothing, but still uses his Strawberry Shortcake backpack!

Answer 7

it is perfectly normal for him to do that. hes just having fun. try buying him some costumes to play with. he'll grow out of it don't worry

Answer 8

Why don't you try talking to him about WHY he wants to be a little girl.  Maybe he thinks it would be more fun or better in some way.  If you discuss it with him, it may become less interesting.  I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 9

to all those who are mentioning psychological disorders and gender identity issues, you're way out of line. he's five. when my sister was four, she announced she wanted her hair cut so she could be a boy. she wanted to be like my brother, so she thought that meant she should be a boy. she's sixteen now, and knows she's a girl, and has no problems with that. just a phase. my six year old nephew went through a phase of wanting to play with barbies when he was about four or five. now he steals his mom's victoria secret catalogs to look at. lol. my two year old nephew likes to have his nails painted so they're "pretty" sometimes. i played with trucks when i was a kid, and i hated dolls. guess what? im bisexual and happily married to a man. so what? that has nothing to do with it. it's just kids being kids, playing pretend. there's nothing to worry about. if he still likes to dress in girls clothes when he's a teen, then he's a cross dresser. not a big deal right? who's it going to hurt?

sorry about that mini rant. really, kids are just curious and like to play pretend (and say things to creep their parents out. when i was two i tricked my mom into believing id gone color blind. lmao)

Answer 10

Relax, this is typical behavior.  When I taught kindergarten I had many little boys who would go to the dress up corner and wear big floppy hats, feather boas, and wrap fabric around their waists like skirts.  Dress up is a fun game for any 5 year old. All of the little boys in my classes were just fine and are growing up nicely.  

The knickers part never really came up in the classroom to be honest.  Maybe you should ask him why he likes those knickers and doesn't want his own things.  Does he go shopping with you to pick out his own things?  That may help him take ownership of his identity.

I would buy him a child's shaving kit with a pretend razor, some shaving cream, and make him some watered-down aftershave.  Maybe even some hair gel too.  Let him keep them in the bathroom for when he feels like he needs to look especially nice, and tell him how handsome he is when he uses his kit.  

You could get him a nice collared shirt and a tie to put on the next time you go to your friend's house, and he could wear his aftershave.  He'll probably get loads of attention for being so cute (especially if you phone your friend ahead of time and tell her privately), and he won't be interested in changing from his clothes.

He will most likely grow out of the interest in girls' clothes.  They're just foreign and exciting because he isn't supposed to have them.  I'd worry more if he were 10 or so still doing this.

Answer 11

I'm assuming he has no male role-models in his life. I say this because a guy will help him behave more like a guy.

Another thing, too: Does he play with other boys? If you want him to behave like a normal boy, he needs to hang out with other boys.

No, it is not normal for a boy to behave like a girl or like to do "girl" things. Boys should be boys and do "boy" things.

Answer 12

Yes, it is normal.  No, it does not mean he is g*y or transexual.  Gender identity comes much later....  Although, in some rare cases, young boys will identify with female things.

Just be supportive.  There is nothing to be gained by letting him think there is something wrong.  Stealing the knickers is wrong, but playing dress up isn't.  My three younger brothers all played dolls, dress up, etc with me when we were little.  They loved it.  I was the oldest, so I made them play, lol.  They all dressed up in dresses with me, had tea parties, played with dolls, etc.  They may as well have been little sisters!!!  It was great....  

Then they discovered football, basketball, wrestling, girls, etc.  That was the end of that.  

Don't worry.  He'll probably grow out of it.  Even if he doesn't, are you going to love him any less?  Nope.

Answer 13

Normal, definately - i wouldnt worry about it now at all.  My brother always used to sleep with my mothers silk or satin knickers and slips and he is not g*y now. At the end of the day, it is way too early to be worried about sexuality at 5, let him just enjoy himself and dont stress - what will be will be.

Answer 14

he might have gender identity disorder also. he might need some psychological counseling to help him work out his feelings.

Answer 15

its normal, I used to do it. But now, I'm manly.

Answer 16

TOTALLY! yes its normal for little boys to see if they are g*y! my cousin used to do this and he is happily married to a  wonderful man now

Answer 17

Get him to a formal affair. Example. Have a formal dinner at a nice restaurant. You dress appropriately, and your Husband (assuming) In Suit. Then have your boy dress in a suit as well. If he asks to wear the dress, explain that boys wear suits and pants and girls wear dresses.