My little boy seems so jelous, what can i do ?

Question

i have a boy who is 4 , i also have a little girl wo was one on saturday , my boy always seems jelous , if i hold her or try get her to sleep he will want the same or try wake her up

also he keeps playing with and trying to break her new birthday toys , the day before her birthday i bought him some new toys so he would not feel left out, he got double for his birthday back in april

, i give him a lot of love and attention and talk to him and play etc but he still seems so jelous of his sister

sometimes i have caught him hitting her and stopping her from crawling around im always worried he may hurt her

i love both my kids and try my best but what else can i do to stop him being like this with the baby

Answer 1

sounds like you are right in that he is jeaslous, you need to try and ignore him when he is being jeaslous, pick him up and put him the other side of the room, dont give him extra toys etc, that will only make him think he deserves them and special treatment and that in time might make him arrogant and delfish when hes older (my bro is like this now!) you need to tel him off when hes naughty and does things wrong or goes to hurt his sister, you need to be harsh and stand your ground with him! hes 4 now imagine what he will be like when hes 10! he`le be a little pain you know it!l

maybe speak to a councellor about what you can do to try and disolve this situation before things get worse.

good luck!

Answer 2

Oviously he's going to be really jelous. He thinks that he's little sister is loved and he's not, and when you do try to show him that you do, he thinks you only love him when you do them things, and he wants you to love him but not his little sister. So he only wants you to be nice to him but not to the little sister to feel loved. And he's seem from what i've heard a bit spoiled. Whenever he seeks for attention, ignore him, leave him, and when he starts crying ignore him, when he stops crying, he should just come to you, it always works, my mum did that to me.

Answer 3

I don't have the perfect answer but I have to say I think some of the suggestions sound a bit harsh, maybe I'm wrong. What I can say to you is that I have plenty of friends who have experienced exactly what you are going through. I only have one child but I know for certain that  other friends have gone through exactly what you are going through now when they had their 2nd child and the ages were roughly the same.  All I can say is that its a couple of years on for them now and things get much easier.  One of my friends' little boy used to cry at the top of the stairs "I just want to hurt her" about his little sister, but he loves her to bits now. I would seek advice from someone professional but it sounds like you're doing all you can and being a great mum. He will grow out of it, but there must be websites or books with advice for exactly this sort of situation. Good luck.

Answer 4

Tell him you think he's jelous and would always love his just as much as your daughter!

Answer 5

you need to discipline him if u see him hit or stop her then try the naughty corner, my daughter is 3 and she will do it to her brother 15months but try asking him why he has done what he has done like breaking her toys or why you can't hold her

if that doesn't work try asking your health visitor or gp hope this helps

Answer 6

Every time he hurts her, double up on the kissing and lovey dovey with her.  Make sure she gets the attention that he would get in the form of negative attention every time he does something to her.  Also make sure to give him at least 1 hour of private time with you away from his sister each week, regardless of how he is behaving with his sister.

And for her 2 year birthday, no toys for him - remind him that she got no toys on his birthday.

Answer 7

you should discipline him. tell him that you love them both. and try to play with them both at the same time. when he hits her, punsih him and let him know that tantrums are not acceptable. good luck

Answer 8

Firstly, you need to ignore his bad behaviour and to make sure that you do not leave your little girl alone with him. Your son will do anything to get your attention. Boys are mummy boys.  All children go through this when they get a brother or sister its sibling rivalry. Your son just feel theatened, remember its perfectly normal. Your son will eventually calm down, wait and see.

Answer 9

spend some time each day with just him, like take him and get some ice cream or something.

Answer 10

You are spoiling him. he expects to be given things because for some reason you feel some guilt for having another child and he is playing on that.  You love your child but you raise them to accept siblings and for them to live with each other.  

You can not expect him to understand the concept of jealousy, but you can explain it to him and reinforce it with the naughty seat, which works very well.  Stop giving him treats and extra present because that is prolonging the jealousy and not solving it.  You do not want a spoilt child on your hands later on as he grows up.  Nip it in the bud now, be strong and do not give in which is the hardest part, it will take time.

Even tho she is still young let him get involved with helping you with her etc eg getting her a towel to dry her, talk cream etc

You are the one that is supposed to be in control not him