My little sister is dating a guy that is too old for her?

Question

i know i shouldnt be all worried about what she does with her new man and all.. i am not being jealous, but i am just a little concerned for her. He is 24 same age as me and she barely just turned 18. She has to redo a year of high school and she has been dating him for 9 months and they are talking about gettin married. Well a couple of days ago he was suposed to come get her and he didnt. she was mad. she didnt tell me what really happend, but my mom did and she wasnt too happy either. Last that my lil sis told me was that she was moving in with him. he has two houses and 3 cars suposedly and she is soo in love with this guy. I never met him. never seen any pictures of him. she says that he is too afraid to meet our family and he wont. so it tell it kinda tells me what kinda man he really is. I am just afraid she wont recover from something so bad. I see it happening, but she is acting like she doesnt care, but i see what he is doing... what can i do as a big sister to help her? probably not much, but i am worried that this might cause her some problems.. what do you think?

Answer 1

tell her to try to talk him into going over to your house to meet the family, and tell her to watch his every move and action as he is there. she will see. because if you start to see how3 he really is and he knows what you are doing then he will start to act differently around you and Will try to avoid you as much as he can, just keep going over to him and try starting conversations about his past and past relations ships when your sister isn't around tell her to watch for a distance, talk about his family, watch how he talks about them. just ask him questions about her flaws and see his facial reactions as he talks about them. and her good qualities don't say anything about the way she looks, ask him what he likes about her, if the first thing on his list is her looks, then ask him why that's the first thing.  just question him about little things that you know you can get big answers from.  and good facial expressions from.  

Answer 2

It's a bad sign if she's moved in with him and she hasn't introduced them to your family

I have a feeling it will end badly

Go out on a girls night and try to look for other guys her age

If they end up staying together insist on meeting him (after all if they are planning on getting married you might want to know who he is before the wedding day)

Answer 3

She is in fact your little sister and as you two grew up, I am sure that you looked after her and were probably pretty noisey about every little thing that she did. And for once in her life she has something that she thinks is special and she doesn't want her big sister to stick her nose into it and not approve it. If you let her know that you aren't trying to ruin anything and that the age difference is not the problem and that you just want to be part of her life, maybe she will be able to open up a little more to you rather than hide her entire relationship from you and the rest of the family.

And to be honest, what kind of guy sneaks off with a girl that is 8 years younger than him and refuses to meet her family let alone have her show pictures of him...

Answer 4

Pray for her. That's all you can do. She is an adult now and she wants to do this.

Sometimes people have to go through things in order to move to a higher level. If you try to stop her now, she won't learn the lesson and might feel the need to embark on a worse situation out of feeling rebellious.

My adult son was involved with a women that was a few years younger than me and I didn't like her because she was being a wise guy. I prayed about it and eventually the relationship soured and he realized that she was a taker and let her go for good.

People have to see with their eyes sometimes in order to grow.

Oh and have your family and friends pray too. Power is prayer works wonders.  

Answer 5

It's totally natural for you to be suspicious of this guy. Nobody in your family has even seen him. If she does move out just be ready to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong for her. You will not be able to convince her that she is being used so don't initiate a big family bust up, just make sure the door is open for her to crawl back when she eventually gets dumped.

Nothing stronger than sisterly love.

Answer 6

I don't think that you're worried about the age difference here, because that's not much of an age difference at all, considering that the woman is younger.  The best way to get her to open up and (maybe) listen to you is to support her.  If you tell someone that they are stupid and have bad judgement, they will abandon you and never listen to you.  Just let her know you're curious about her relationship and you would really like to meet him.

This is about as far as you can go.  She may or may not be in trouble, but she will probably have to learn this one on her own.

Answer 7

This does sound like a hard situation, however, in the end... there is nothing you can do, except be there for your sister in any way that she needs you now and later. Depending upon how your family is, I would put it out there to her how you feel. But at the same time, let her know that you are still here for her and love her very much. One of a lot of people's biggest mistakes are jumping down there sibling's throats, and then you take the risk of making them so upset or hurt, they stay away for a long time, or possibly forever.

And you never know, he could turn out to be a good guy. With Most relationships, unless your very very cose to a person, you only hear about the bad. That's what people gripe about the most. So there very well maybe good in there too. No relationship is perfect, and I look at age as nothing but a number. My husband is 7 years older than I am. So as long as the good out weighs the bad, it should be ok.

I do see your concern, especially being the older sister. Just trust in your gut what's going on, and remember to be there for her rather it's falling apart for her or going better than ever. It means a lot to people to know that they still have someone to run to when in need.

I wish you luck on your situation! have a great evening

Answer 8

You are a great sister to be worried!  The red flags are up for you and you know something just is not right.  I don't understand that this man is going out with this girl and your parents don't even require to meet him?  And if there are no pictures then that is a red flag too.  If this person was any kind of a man at all he would want to meet your parents and you and become a part of your family.  Especially if they have talked about getting married.  You sister is blinded by love right now and is not thinking rationally  You need to take her by the hands and tell her what you think.  She may get mad but tell you you are concerned because there is just something not quite right about the whole situation.  I don't think you are jealous.  This doesn't seem to be the kind of relationship to be jealous over.  It doesn't sound like anything good that is for sure.  It doesn't matter how shy you are that man should still meet your family.