My long term girlfriend is going crazy on me!?

Question

Me and my girlfriend have been together ever since 1998, 10 years! The main problem in our relationship that it is a very very long term relationship, I live in germany and she lives all the way in canada. I try to meet her as often as possible, before it was once a year, but by now I meet her 3 times a year, and that for about 1 - 4 weeks each time I'm there. The problems started each time I came back from Canada! We had fights, made up, had fights, made up. In two month we fought 6 weeks, and the 2 other weeks we were talking with each other. Each time we fought because we are both sooooo different on the computer then we are live when we are with each other. We have such good memories together, and I really don't want to lose her. She wants to get married and I want to get married as well, the only problem is our age, I'm 21 and haven't finished with my university yet, it will take me another 3 years. I can not move to Canada because I can not afford it, and neither can she move to Germany. When we are married and I'm done my university, I will move to Canada.

That was our situation, but right now my girlfriend is going crazy on me, because we are having too many fights, she doesn't listen to anything I say anymore, she wants to break up! what should I do as to your mind? We already had plenty of breaks, but nothing really worked, we broke up several times but got back together, its all soo confusing! Please give me some advises!

Answer 1

if she wants to break up there is nothing you can really do she has made up her mind ya can try talking to her and find out whats up. Maybe make the jump and give her a ring but you need to talk to her

Answer 2

Well, relationships that started at the age of 11 and are very very long distance don't tend to work out.  Cute story.

Answer 3

You're 21 and you want to marry some girl you talk to on the computer.  You've been talking to her since you were 11.  And you have discovered that when you're together, she isn't the same person as she is on the computer.

Has it ever occurred to you that you really need to date other people before you get married?  You and this Canadian girl don't have a relationship.  You're pretending, that's all.  A relationship is something that develops day by day, and it takes more than pixels on a screen.  You need someone you can DO things with, frequently.  See face to face.  

If you're fighting every time you come home, and it's always this girl who starts it - she's only trying to manipulate you.  You spent 6 weeks fighting after just a couple of weeks together?  WHAT IS THE POINT?  This isn't a relationship.

Here's the reality.  At 21, you aren't mature enough to make a GOOD decision on getting married.  Maturity and wisdom only come after you've dated several women and have had to learn about MANY different facets of man-woman interactions.  

Break it off with this girl.  Concentrate on your education.  Start making female friends and start dating.  Enjoy being young and single, because you don't get this chance ever again.  (The next time you're single, if you marry the Canadian girl, you'll be in a foreign country and you'll have child support to pay. Being single won't be easy or fun the next time around.)

If you and this girl are meant to be together, you will be.  But you can't know that if neither of you dates other people.  There's a whole world of new experiences waiting for you.  Go enjoy them and learn from them.

Answer 4

honestly.. this is all pretty confusing.. but some relationships, just don't work.. Especially long distance ones.. and you've been together since u were 11?? ...Love like that.. RARELY works.. it does.. But people change soooo much, that its hard to make it work 10 years later.. Cause people grow up between 11 and 21..

If you love her don't let go.. But if you're doubting it.. maybe its time to admit it may just not work. As hard as that seems. Cause you've seen your life for the past 10 years with her.

Ya know? think it through.. And be fully honest with her with how you feel.  

Answer 5

So you started internet dating at the age of 11?

Maybe if you two have so many problems when you actually meet up, breaking up is a good idea.  

Answer 6

You've been dating her since you were eleven years old?

Gimme a break.

Answer 7

I admire how long you've been able to maintain your relationship. The only advice I have to give is to stick it out! It sounds like you really love her. You've made it ten years in your current situation, and perhaps you can make it until you graduate college. Good luck!

Answer 8

slice her b***s off

Answer 9

I tell this to everybody that long term relationships never work this kind of stuff always happens and someone always gets hurt... If you really want it to work out you need to make it work but i can tell you one thing the long term relationship isnt going to work any more I am suprised it lasted that long... what you need to do is meet each othe half way I mean lierally meet each other half way like you both move to england or france... and know that it might be a little expensive but if you really love each other you can make it work...

Answer 10

Well, I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Canadians girls are mean, haha.

She was probably just messing with you at first, but it grew.

Answer 11

You both can not have a really good relationship so far apart. Perhaps you need to agree to stop talking about marriage until you have your education out of the way. Nothing wrong with that. You both are still young and would be better to start a marriage off in a right way than to rush into something and be sorry later. You could loose your education and your marriage, what good is that? It takes some serious dedication but if you both love one another you can do it. Good luck and hope it all works out for you.

Answer 12

ok your 21 and you've been together 10 years? so you were like 11 when you first started dating? I think you should just let it go. I know you dont want to hear that and im not saying it to make you feel bad. You're only 21, you're so young! You need to take your time and date! Let it go, shes obviously not making you happy. An online relationship isnt healthy at all. And imagine living with her permantely, you dont even know what its like to be with her everyday for more than a month. I know you love her but, people change and things go wrong. Theres someone out there for everyone and I dont think shes that special someone for you!