My man's 12 year old is extremely overweight and no one seems to care.?

Question

For some reason they give this boy whatever he wants, whether it's games, toys or food. He is so overweight that he has to get adult sized pants and have them hemmed. My man's ex wife feeds him junk and they eat out a lot. He also has a major speech impediment and even though we get free speech therapy, no one is making use of it. My issue is that he will be in high school soon and have a h**l of a time, being picked on, etc. Not to mention the health benefits. He is a smart kid, but when people meet him they think something is wrong with him due to these things. I have suggested cutting out the junk food and speech therapy to my boyfriend, and he seems to agree but nothing gets done.

What more can I do? I suppose it's not my place to talk to his ex-wife, right?

Also, should I take this as a red flag with my man, as to what kind of parent he will be when we have a child? Or is that just common laziness with men?

Answer 1

My bf's brother has a 5 year old that has a horrible speech impetiment, he doesn't notice it as bad as everyone else, the boy basically flunked out of pre-school, as hard as that may seem....it's basically laziness of the father and the mother, and its a shame that they don't want better for their son, even though they're not together anymore.  

Answer 2

I really don't know what sort of advice to give to you, but this is his child, so I don't see why he'd be any less "lazy" (if that's what you want to call it) if you two were to have a child together.  Sounds like you're taking care of two children already.

Answer 3

You should consider talking about him, and talk to him how you feel that his lifestyle is unhealthy. Tell him that he's going to be meeting girls soon, and the best thing for him to do would be to lose some weight, eat healthier, etc. Show him shows about extremely obese people (like the ones on TLC), and what happens to them when they continue with their unhealthy lifestyle - liposuction.  

Answer 4

i think for the most part its just a common lazyness with men but its not all his fault. if his ex wife is giving him everything he wants and he spends alot of time with her then maybe you should ask your bf to talk to her. dont cut out sweets all together, only allow a small amount of it and encourage exercise and healthy snacks... talk to your bf about it and tell him he needs to do something about it. it is a problem and if you two are going to be together then it should be fix because it can cause an effect on your kids if you have any...

Answer 5

My man isn't lazy! Honey, this guy is irresponsible and is abusing his child by not feeding him healthy food, and not getting him into the speech therapy that he needs. This kid could have a lot of medical issues in his near future, diabetes, poor joints, heart problems, and self esteem issues. You've got to nip it in the bud while he's young, the old he gets, the harder it's going to be to correct his speech and lose the weight.

Answer 6

talk to ur man like u mean it and if he does not do anything u will  

Answer 7

I'd give him some of the quick facts about Diabetes in overweight children and the address of a speech therapist.  The diabetes is no small thing either, who wants to give their kids insulin injections at 12!? Tell him if his ex won't take the boy to the speech therapist he needs to take the active role and deem it a necessity and take him himself.  

Also, when he is over I would suggest taking him out to the ball field or to an active place, taking walks, etc.  I would also suggest taking fattening foods out of the house when he's there.

His father should be the one dealing with the ex as it's their child at the moment.  That life-style is not conducive to a child's health.  It sounds like they give him what he wants because they feel guilty about the split.

Also, if he refuses to act on the information, you may want to think twice.

Answer 8

The problem isn't the boy the problem is his parents.  No it is not your place to talk to your boyfriend's ex wife, it's not even your place to talk to the boy.  The person you need to talk to is his father, you say his father agrees with you but nothing is ever done...well why isn't it?  Why hasn't HE cut out the junk food in HIS home?  Why hasn't HE signed the boy up for speech therapy IF the boy needs it.  This boy has TWO parents obviously BOTH of them are passing the buck and have no interest in their son.  So don't blame the boy or just his mother he has a father as well.

Answer 9

Is your man lazy? Or is he uneducated? He might think that this is something that can be pushed off. You need to make sure that he is aware of all the facts of obesity. If he knew all the risks, he might take this a little more seriously

Answer 10

you can suggest till you are blue in the face, that dosnt help the boy.

If your man, nor his ex wife seem to care about this little man, im not sure where you stand in the relationship to take the steps needed to do something about it yourself.

Are you willing to take him to speach thereapy, are you willing to make an appointment with a dietition to get this boy on a proper diet?

If you have exuses too, like you are too busy, then this boy is in trouble. Is there grandparents that you can talk to that may be able to get through there childrens head?

Take the kid to the park, take him for walks, do what you can to get him some exersize...if you care more then the rest, then do what you can to help him...before he gets sick.

EDIT: i say this is the time to overstep boundries. this childs health is at risk and that is what is important here. its not his fault his parents are not doing what it takes, so maybe you should...i would if i were you.

Answer 11

hey, i have over weight people in my family too.   So i know how you feel.   I think that you pull your man to the side and tell him.   Make sure that you let him know that you care for his children and that this is for the child and that you are worried about him and the issues that he can have over his weight.  Do not make any jokes, or seem like you do not care.   Do not over power the problem it is up to your man to change his kids diet but you say like why do we all just eat healthier.  Or only eat out two or three times a week.  You could also cook healthier foods, give him popcorn as a snack not chips.  Play fun outside games with the family that way the child is active and you are showing your man that you care about him and his son.

Answer 12

men are lazy in those areas. you can feed him healthier when he is at your house even schedule activities that  can keep him off the couch! can you offer to take him to speech classes:if the child is interested.

Answer 13

well you can do your part when he is at your house. Start buyig snacks in individual size cotainers (like those 100 calorie packs) just so if he dos go grab a snack, its not a pack of oreos. see if he would like to go on a walk, play soccer,just light excrcise, but defenatley make it fun playing and not "exercize" Maybe if you found something that he really liked, he would ask his mom if he could do it when with her. And you could ask your husband to talk to his ex. Just make sure he does it in a positive way. Not like, "you need to do this for him" but like " he sure loves riding his bike through the park to feed the ducks" Maybe she will get the hint. And yeah men are kinda lazy. Sign him up for the speech classes, and tell your man when they are. Then offer to drop him off and pick him up. Good luck, your a good mom to try to get him on trak before high school. I know how mean kids can be.