My man and me are engaged and he likes to go online and talk to woman?

Question

i love him but am trying to trust him more but he is so secretive about talking on-line with woman says he wont meet them. I try to give him his space but it is hard cause i get so jealous cause i know they are not talking about the weather. I am cool with it as long as he don't talk on the phone or meet them am i being paranoid? help?

Answer 1

you r sooooo not paranoid...

wut he is doin is wrong. and u allowing it is jus as wrong...

he should not want to talk to any other women online. this is only goin to get worse. so he needs to choose you or the other women he talks to cuz sumday down the line he will meet up with them. end that now b4 it is too late.

good luck!

Answer 2

If your fiance is talking to these women about stuff he doesn't share with you or stuff of a romantic nature, then he is already emotionally cheating. You have to deal with this and you should not marry him until this is taken care of. If he has you, why does he need these other women?

I am not some crazy jealous fiancee and I have no problem with my fiance talking to women such as coworkers or friends, but I would have a huge problem with him talking to random women online for no reason, same as he would with me.

Answer 3

Honestly, he should not be talking to other women. It is hard to assume what he is really doing unless you have proof. But I understand your concerns. Next time he chooses to talk to these women, sit down next to him or watch him. If he tells you to get away, then there is a red flag right there. If something is going on now, it will not change after marriage. Just be cautious.

Answer 4

If it's something...personal.

Then I would be worried.

Answer 5

I don't have a problem if my husband talks to other woman online if they talk about everday stuff. My husband is a member of a bike club and I'm sure there are woman on there. If they talk bikes then fine. If I found out for even one second that they were talking dirty to each other, I'd walk in there and smack him right across the head. Are you kidding me. Honey, get a grip on him now before it is too late. How would he feel if you did that to him. You better find out now if this relationship is going to work before you get married. You and him need to set down and talk about your opinions on ceertain things to see where you stand. Tell him that you don't mind if he talks to other woman as long as it is just friend talk. Tell him that if he is talking dirty to woman, you don't like that and let him know how it makes you feel. If on his own he says that he will stop and that you don't have to worry about it, then chances are, he'll stop. If he argues with you about and feels like he is right or that it is ok, then put your foot down or move on. It is not worth being worried all the time or wondering if your man is being faithful or not. It will put you in a early grave.  

Answer 6

There's a program you can download called "Key Logger" (just look it up on google). It logs every thing you type, every site you visit, etc. Your fiance won't know it's even in the computer because you can't find it. Only you will be able to get into the program. My parents used to use it on me when I was younger lol.

I'd keep my eye on him. I would be pretty mad if it was my boyfriend doing that.

Answer 7

He is not ready for marriage and You should break this engagement and find someone else.

Answer 8

If you are engaged ! you got your man with you , he is  not going to leave you . but guys are always insecure , so he might be a little nervous that he is engaged now , and he likes to talk to girls online since he cant do it personally anymore ...

i know how you feel , but thats men nature , they always do something woman dont like .

Good Luck  

Answer 9

you have a right to be a little worried.  You never know for sure but it could be many things that are really nothing:

he could be talking to ANYONE and some of them just happen to be women.  No flirting or anything involved.

He could have lower self-esteem than he let's you know he has and is on there for more validation.  To give him an ego boost.

Quite honestly, I talk to guys online all the time. I hang out in this one chat room, I've flirted with them but then again, I flirt with guys right in front of my fiance. it's just who I am (I flirt with girls too. lol)  I never try to hide it from him but we are very open.  He comes home from work sometimes and goes "holy c**p you should've seen the a s s on this girl today".  Doesn't bug me.  He goes to strip clubs with his buddies, doesn't bug me.  I saw a quote earlier on another question that pretty much sums it up "he can go get his appetite wherever he wants as long as he comes home for dinner".  Kind of along the lines of "look don't touch".  I do get a little jealous sometimes but I never worry.

Maybe you should talk to him. I would never recommend spying on him or installing ANY program to help you do so.  If he finds out that will completely violate his trust in you, something you may never get back.  Talk to him honestly say "hey I get a little jealous and worried about this, I just want to know what's going on and what your intentions in talking with these girls are" If you say you are jealous and not mad he might be more open to talking about it. Very fey people admit when they are jealous so this may get him to open up a bit more.

and if he does take it to phone calls or meeting them. I'd have to say even if he says nothing happened, get out of that relationship. Now if he says "there's a really cool girl I know online and I'd like US to go meet her for dinner" that's different. If he includes you in it he really does just want the friendship and thinks you guys will get along well too.

Good luck hun!

EDIT: when I said I flirt with guys in front of him and online it is completely innocent flirting. nothing like "hey baby wanna go to bed with me?" I save those kind of sayings for my girls. lol.

Answer 10

No your not paranoid. I would be worried too. I am just teenager though, so I don't know much about this whole marriage thing. So i highly doubt my advice is meaningful to you.

sorry

Answer 11

I would ask him about it.  I've known a lot of guys who cheated on their fiance' until they figured out that they had a much better deal with someone alive and in their arms than someone on a computer.  But if you are feeling worried then trust those instincts and ask him about it.  If the two of you are engaged, then you should be able to talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you feel.  

Try "When you do this, I feel that" sort of statements.  "When you talk to a woman online, I feel like I'm not enough for you, like I'm not pretty enough or good enough somehow.  Why do you need them when you have me?"  And then try to be understanding and at the same time... not let him walk completely over you.

Honestly, when I got started dating my guy, he cut off any online girls that he was flirting with.  So yeah, by engagement time, it's time for him to cut off the online.

Answer 12

i don't think you are paranoid, because his behaviour is typically a precursor to cheating in the future, he should respect your feelings about this in stead trying to make it look you are just crazy. Good luck!

Answer 13

hmmm this could be a problem, first of all, if i were you, i wouldnt be engaged to him in the first place, sorry. if he constantly needs to talk to other women online, even if he says he won't meet them in person, you never know. and if you can't trust him, being married to him won't make things better.

i hope things work out.

Answer 14

This is a form of emotional adultery.  It seems you shouldn't trust him if he is being secretive to the point where it is causing you enough strife to need opinions.  My advice is to confront him about it, let him know how it affects you, and tell him you cannot deal with this.  It's not safe because this will likely extrapolate over time, not get better.  Do not marry a man hoping he will change.  You need to be content with him before you decide to say "I do."

You really shouldn't be okay with the situation, it is not healthy.  He needs to be honest, because if he is secretive here, he will be secretive elsewhere, and you have the right to know.