My man is supporting 2 woman, help please?

Question

Im 18 and my boyfriend is 23. We are going to have a baby in january. We live in a 2 bedroom house and he is supporting me. Well recently, his aunt who is 31 got kicked out of her boyfriends house. She does not have a job, so her being family, she is now living with us. Im okay with her living with us for now, but when the baby comes around....I dont feel right her being here.In fact, if she stays that long, i dont feel like being with my boyfriend. I mean shes old enough to support herself and my boyfriend doesnt owe her anything. Am i wrong in feeling this way? And should I talk to my boyfriend about this, if so...how?I dont want to make him mad.

Answer 1

i think you're being a bit selfish. yes, she should get a job and support herself but you can't expect to kick her out even if she gets a job. where will she go? both of you should get jobs actually. my sister and mom worked until the day before they had their babies so thats no excuse. i feel sorry for your boyfriend.

Answer 2

I really would not have wanted anyone else living with me when I had my first baby.  Unless it was MY mom or MY sister.  They would have made it easier.  Anyone else would have made it awful.  I wouldn't have gotten to enjoy my baby (in between the craziness).  There would be no trying to relax during the short time the baby's asleep, etc.  If you are as close to her as a sister, mom, or even your own aunt, then it's different.  I don't get the feeling that you're that close to her though.  I would definitely rather move out if I were you.  

Answer 3

you might be surprised at how much you like having an older, wiser woman around when you have a baby and don't have 2 seconds to take a shower.

Answer 4

I completely agree with YOU! Seriously...my husband and I have paid enough for his sister and it really starts to drive a huge wedge into the relationship. It makes me so bitter. She is 25, and has a full time job...what the h**l is her problem, you ask? She is supporting her unemployed boyfriend, so we have to pick up all of the pieces. It freaking sucks. And believe me, with a baby on the way...there is going to be a lot of resentments when there isn't enough to go around.

This aunt needs to get a job. Its real easy to live off other people. h**l I would love to as well but I got a lot more pride then that. I was raised in a much different manner.

I am 29. No way in h**l would I ever want someone to support me. I may be on Paternity Leave, but I have money coming in from the governerment. And it makes me feel like I am contribuing to what it going on around here, when I have something coming in. And I go back to work in a week and a day.

January is quite some time from now....she needs to get a job. She needs to contribute. And you need to talk to your boyfriend. If this relationship is important to you, you need to be able to express your fears, concerns, worries and know that no matter if he gets pissed at you for it, at least you stood your ground.

His aunt is none of your concerns. Your concerns should be your relationship and this baby that is coming into this world.

Answer 5

You need to talk to him because you have a baby on the way and you two need to start your lives without others.  Its hard to not say anything because you will have pent up feelings and it will cause arguments.  If you feel like you have to leave then do so but make sure you tell him why. You child can't take care of itself and his aunt can.  He needs to give her a time limit on how long she should be able to stay with you two.  Or things will become ugly.

Good luck

Answer 6

Just be upfront with him and be honest with your self.

Ask your self why would it matter what she has to say?

It's your home and not your boyfriend Aunt beside is she disable and not able to get a job or is she  just plain lazy?

When your alone with him talk to him and let him know how your feeling and it's about time the so call Aunt to get a job and move out!

Answer 7

YOU NEED TO TELL HIM RIGHT AWAY ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL.

I can understand helping out a family member, but not adopting her.

She is down on her luck, but she in no way should take advantage of a young couple with a child on the way.

She needs to be understanding of the situation that she has put you in.

Just go to him and tell him that you are very happy that he is helping out his family, but you would not feel comfortable if she was still there when the baby was born.

Best wishes  

Answer 8

I'm not trying to be mean or anything but you said that your man is supporting you. My first qestion to you is why don't you have a job. I know that you said you are pregnant but like I said why don't you have a job as well? ( so she is just like you no job)

But as far as her staying there with you , let him know how you are feeling that you would like her out of his house befre that baby comes...but on the flip side if it's his home and he is bringing in the money he is the king of the castle and his word might be bond.

Answer 9

No, I think what you want is your own space for when you have the baby. I know what you mean. I had to live with Inlaws when I had the baby, and I just wanted to be left alone with my new daughter. I didnt enjoy half of what I should have because I had to constantly beat them off with a stick.

Answer 10

Wow do you not know what birth control is?

And quite honestly, it's possible that she put him up a time or two and he is just returning the favor.  Also you might consider that one day the tables will be turned and she might put you two up.

Yea she should be working, but eh, give it time.

Answer 11

Unless your in a less traditional three-way relationship in which you all agree to be partners in, that is not a man. He is a mess. Tell him your probably going to put the baby up for adoption (get some information to just to have laying around as well) and really really make him think that you are going to put the baby up for adoption. Why? This will bring the real man out if there is any. It will also give you a choice to put that baby up for adoption if you really really need to.  

Answer 12

Trust me, you're not wrong for feeling that way, you and your bf are very young, and need your time to yourself, to grow and become a man and a woman, with a kid on the way... she's not working, and the three of you are living off of one income, that take away from you...

Talk to your bf tell him you need time to yourself, and his Aunt needs to find another place to live, are get a job.