My mind is gone. HELP PLEASE. im sad! =[ ?

Question

Okay, So I do suffer from an eating disorder. Meaning I do go days on end just plainly eating a granola bar and water. I usually eat just one meal a week which is usually on friday. Im around 5'4 and 133pounds =[ im in this condition where if i eat i feel guilty and purge it but this past friday, i didnt purge it mainly because my throat was hurting. So today I kinda slipped and ate a lil too much. I start school on Monday. the day after tommaro, and because of my eating today, I gained a really low-self esteem all over again. I gained about 2pounds. I know i should go on a diet instead of this but it's not even that,it's when i eat i get this guilty feeling and don't want to go out. If i gain weight. So now im having 2nd thought about returning to school. Im scared, i might be judged or maybe not make friends, since its a new school. I need help! Please, give me advise, based on the school issue and the self esteem! Not on my eating habits please!

I have many dreams set for my future but im scared this might held me back! Help please.

Answer 1

    The first thing you need to do is get help from a therapist.   As far as not addressing the eating issue-  you only mention eating as a problem.   What you are doing is extremely dangerous-  purging and eating and then deprivation of food  can cause extreme electolyte imbalance, esophogeal bleeding,  acid wear on teeth, and poor nutrition.   Get with a doctor immediately .  I know you feel bad, but if you do not get help there are SERIOUS or deadly consequences of eating disorders.    

Answer 2

ok. you have a eating disorder (not to be disgust, fine) but along with eating disorders is low self esteem!!!!! The two go hand in hand. I would suggest talking to a councilor or Get Help outside of the school. This isn't only a question about advise based on school issues and gaining 2 pounds under normal conditions .. it's about your identity, and what your doing to your body. There's no other way it can be answered. Why do you think you purge?; that feeling you get after you ate! Now your AFRAID..what? that people won't like you? As far as that, just be who you are and if they don't like you ..you don't need them. I'm sure you'll make alot of friends. 2 pounds is NOTHING!!!