My mind keeps shutting down, whats wrong?

Question

kinda hard to make sense bear with me.

so last week i finally let all my anger out on my fam and cried a whole lot. After that, i basically shut down, in a very foggy state, ,walking around like a zombie. As 6 days passed, anger started building up again, and i just let it all out again by destroying the toaster, and now ive shut down again, whats going on? during this shut down its hard to function, all i can do is watch tv and laugh at the genius of stargate.

its not quite depression, i dont feel depressed and i dont feel manic... just "away". I have experienced major depressive episodes, and they are different.

Answer 1

your mind may just be going through a hard time, maybe try getting some good sleep? I am unsure what has caused you to be so annoyed at but you may just be lacking concentration. Try to focus, drink water and keep yourself refreshed =)

Answer 2

Your anger is pretty intense... you've probably been at the boiling point for some time now, and it's finally built up so much steam, your pot blew its top, so to speak.  That's a really intense experience, and it pretty much left you feeling exhausted, dizzy, vulnerable, maybe a little guilty, and just generally crappy.  

Now I'm sure you have plenty of good reasons to be so angry - I don't doubt that your anger is real and your frustrations are justified. But your brain does what it needs to do to recuperate:  it shuts down (emotionally), and you feel numb and totally out of it.  It's something like the way you'd feel after going to a really loud concert for 3 hours, and afterward everything sounds tinny & far away for the next couple of days.

So, this is normal - normal for your poor brain, that is, to shut down like it's been doing. The problem is, now you're not getting your feelings out at all because you're a toaster-zombie and you're not getting stuff off your chest any more.  That's not good, and it only lasts so long until the next Hiroshima happens, and you wind up exploding all over again.

The problem is that instead of taking each situation as its own and handling it right then and there, you let it build up until it has no other choice but to bust up the helpless kitchen appliances.  And afterwards you have no other choice but to heal your head & shut down.  What you might want to try doing is writing down some of the stuff that's going on in your family (the stuff that makes you angry) and then take one or two and tell them about it that night - whenever.  But do it before your list gets any bigger because you know where that will lead you. It takes courage and willpower to do this, I know, but it's the only way you're going to get out or your vicious cycle.

But before you do anything, just relax.  Give yourself a break - this is very very normal and you really don't need to worry that something bad is happening with you.  You just need to pace yourself and quit beating up that poor toaster :)

VL