My mom's abusive boyfriend.?

Question

I'm 19 and well beyond this man's ability to get to me, and I've established very early on that he's a jerk and I don't like him, but this isn't about me.

I can move out whenever I feel like it, but my 12 year old brother can't. And today this guy Steven cussed my 12 year old brother David out. Steven and David got in an argument about whether or not people have memories of when they were 2, which was a stupid argument to begin with, but instead of just saying, "well I disagree, and I think you should look it up, you may be thinking of a different age, so on and so forth", he actually calls me little 12 year old brother a "son of a *****", AND uses a few other choice curses I will not mention here. The point is, this guy is in his 50's, and it is absolutely not necessary for a fifty year old man to cuss out a 12 year old at any time. But what do I do? My mother was there, and she did not even once say "please don't speak to my son like that" and now his confidence is in tatters because his mother is agreeing with the guy that called my brother a "son of a *****". In fact, he told me she blames David for it, as if he has any control over what a 50 something year old man says.

What do I do? I'm going to call some relatives and tell them this is getting out of hand all ready, but what if they can't do anything? She refuses to listen to me, I know that much, I've told her hundreds of times why she should leave him, and I don't think child services responds to calls of boyfriends cussing out kids. Any suggestions that I have not thought of?

Answer 1

Hold on hold on....1st really think...is your brother egging on the arguments? Cause he doesn't like him, I have this prob w/ my daughter and bro in law...I just keep them seperated and tell her to shhhh! If you really do NOT think this is the case. You need to go to your mom and her boyfriend at the same time, in front of him and tell him if HE cannot control hinself or choose a different tactic w/ your brother than he is forcing your hand to call child protective services. If your mom is being blind about it all, it's time for a wake up call...my bro ran away from home to come to me in PA from OK...got half way home hitchin. I called my mom and told her you either handle your man's mouth or I am filing for custody...I was 19....blood is thicker than water

Answer 2

I dont know but i hope everything works out for you. answer my question.  

Answer 3

I don't care if the 12 yr. old is pushing that man's buttons, he's an adult and should be acting like it.  Cursing out the 12 yr. old is verbally abusive and emotionally damaging.  Your mother doing nothing is as bad or worse on your brother, because who is going to protect him?  It's obviously you.  

CPS might resond to calls about him screaming and cursing if David is actually scared of the boyfriend.  It's worth a call to see if they can do anything.  Some things aren't abuse but are inappropriate parenting.  So David might be able to talk to CPS, and they might determine there is inappropriate parenting, even if there's not abuse, and they might be willing to step in, but I'm not sure.  It's worth calling and asking.  Another avenue would be church leaders if your family attends a church.  If not, perhaps you should find one for David and you to attend to help undo the damage of that man, and maybe you can get mom involved.  That could help change her perspective on this, too.  Yet another free resource is school counselors.  You can contact the counselor at David's school, express your concerns and ask them to meet with him.  They provide free counseling and can even testify in court if it ever came to that.  You would probably have to mention your mom's involvement.  

If you can't get mom to correct this situation, then David is going to have to learn to shut his trap and avoid confrontation.  He has to live with the consequences, so maybe it isn't bothering him as much as you.  However, it is an appalling example to set for a child.  I can't understand any parent allowing that language in their home, much less directed at their child.  It sounds like you are the voice of reason and maturity in that house, and I applaud you.  I agree with every observation you've made.  You speak like you're well beyond 19, and I'm glad David has you.    

Answer 4

You need to get your FOID. You should get a nice glok. You need to start cleaning the gun at the kitchen table, practise assembling and disassembling it, commenting on how easy it is to have an accident with the gun. After a month or so tell him you don't like the profanity, it makes you very upset, so upset you start to lose memory of what you are doing. Tell him you are worried about his safety.