My mom and I were in the basement talking while she was sewing?

Question

and my step-dad arrived home from work. He came up to me and asked me to move out of my chair so he could sit and asked him why. He then went on and said 'because I want to talk to your mother.' My mom then said 'i'm going outside anyway.' and he followed her outside. Later my mom said that she didn't know why he was acting like that and she apologized for it. She said she would expect that out of my younger brother, not him. Should I have gotten up and moved? She told me that she doesn't know why he is so short tempered with me. For example, I was standing in the kitchen and he walks in and says do the dishes, i asked him why, then he yells YOUR GROUNDED!!!!! My mom said that thats how she was treated when she was younger and thats not how she wants me to be raised. Then 2 days ago i made a bowl of tuna and left it on the counter while i went to the bathroom, when i came back it was gone and he was eating it. when he went back to work i told my mom and she again apologized. Why is he treating me this way? He treated my sister the same way and she ended up moving out. Hes been acting this way for a couple weeks now. BTW, I'm 13 & my sister was 17 when she moved out.

Should I have moved? Whats wrong with him?

Answer 1

he is a jerk.

your mom should realise this at some point.

you are way too young to move out, but if the situation doesnt change for the better, it will get worse, so you should consider living with other family, like grandparents or your father...

Answer 2

Bless your heart my young child. No you should not move out. You need (and your mom) to sit down with this man and ask him what the problem is with you and him, tell him how HE makes you feel, people can not read your mind, maybe hes had a bad day his self, but for  sure, he does not need to come home and take it out on you. I would then give it a little more time and then if things don't work out, i would have to talk to my mom about moving out. But you can not let him run you off until you give him the chance to change toward you.  

Answer 3

you shouldn't have moved, it sounds like he might resent having kids around, or maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with kids.This may have been how he was treated when he was younger, and he doesn't really know how to change his ways.

I would suggest talking to your mom more about it, and/or suggest that you all try family counseling to her if this keeps going on, and especially if it gets worse.

Just because your parent or guardian has authority over you does not mean they have the right to treat you badly. You deserve respect, too. You are not in the wrong.

If they've been married a while, and you are the only one he treats this way, you definitely need to talk to your mom about it.

Answer 4

being a step dad is not easy I just got married 4 months ago and have 5 step kids that all hate me its something that takes time for someone to get used to he might just not know how to handle being a dad how long have they been married? you might just have to give it time but if its been a long time then he might just have a lot of stress right now about something  

Answer 5

no u shuld have not moved. and 2nd probably ur step-dad was raised tht girlz ur age shud clean and work and stuff and is prob. taken by surprise tht u dnt do tht. and also, dont give up so easily. give him some time. he prob is still gettin to know u or sometin. and they best way is to talk to him about him; but do it in a nice and soft, quiet way. and just b nice to him; and mayb instead of saying y? wen he asks u stuff, just b like ok, i will, or b like ok, but after i finish something. so do tht and c if he changes after a while.

Answer 6

Been there, done that!  He treats you this way because he considers you a part of your mother's past whereas he is the present, and as far as he is concerned, you are an inconvenience and in his way because the selfish jerk cannot have your mother to himself.  Step parents usually act this way when they feel children are a financial burden to them because they feel as though their paying for things the other parent should be responsible for, causing a great deal of resentment.  School starts in about two weeks so you may should talk to a teacher you can trust or the school therapist, if you have one, who will talk this through with you and help you discover your options.  Your situation is stressful and help should not be turned down.  Obviously your mother is aware of the problem and she needs to confront your stepfather about his attituted towards you and your sister and brother in your defense.  Where is your father, is moving with him an option?  or another family member.  17 is too young to move so don't consider it.  Start with your mom for help and if she doesn't end it, you must go speak to either your teacher or school therapist or counselor, ASAP, otherwise it will cause you unnecessary stress that you don't need.  You're only 13 and should enjoy life while your young.  Good luck

Answer 7

I think the bigger question is whether or not your mom should stay with him. You didn't really tell us how well your stepdad treats your mom. But given he treats her very nice and doesn't yell at her all the time, your mom should have a chat with him about his attitude towards you guys. This man just hates all your mother's kids and there's nothing anyone can do about it. If you haven't move up from the chair, the situation could've gotten a lot worse. Just try to do as he pleases for the time being. And if he doesn't anything physically hurtful to any one of you, then your mom needs to leave him.

Answer 8

i say just ask him  

Answer 9

Your Dad probably wanted to have an adult conversation with your Mother.  He works he pays the rent he puts food on the table and yes he is the one along with you mother who gets to say what happens and what doesn't happen.  Yes you are wrong, even though you don't want to hear it because you are 13.  If your parents want you to do something, why not just do it?  Children under the age of 6 ask why, usually after 6 or 7 children stop asking why all the time and just realize that because your parents said so is reason enough.  

You are not an adult or have adult pressures and yes it would be extremely annoying to have a teenager ask why all the time.  Try just saying ok, and do what they ask and I bet their attitude towards you will change.  

In a few years when you go to work and your boss asks you to do something are you going to ask why?  You won't hold a job long and will live a miserable life.  Try being more cooperative and act your age and things will change.

this could be a valuable life lesson