My mom and dad just adopted two boys ages 4 and 7.?

Question

The 7 year old has adhd, and the 4 year old is just annoying. I have been an only child for 13 years and now its kinda to hard to get use to the noise they enjoy causing. My mom and dad say that i am being self centered, but i am not trying to.They get mad at me when the 7 or 4 year old do something stupid, saying that i should have been there but do i have to be there every single second they mess up. They both ask alot of questions and i dont like it when people ask questions for some reason, so that is kinda of hard to get use to. Is there away i can be able to feel less cranky about this whole situation.

Answer 1

Please try too give them love. These kids just want someone to love them. You were really lucky to have loving parents. Try too find out a little about them and you will be surprise how much they need your love. Imagine what they are going true.

Answer 2

well sooner or later u hv to learn to like them i mean they are realated to u even though they arent blooded to u sometime i felt poor for the adopted people i mean they dont hv a parent so i think u should try to be nice and kind and like them a  sister u r

Answer 3

you have a right to your own privacy , your folks should not expect you to look out for the little ones . talk to your parents they must respect your wishes too. good luck .

Answer 4

Congrats on being a big sister!  You sound like a completely normal teenager.  I will let you in on a little secret i've learned.  When your brothers are being their naughtiest bend down and give them a hug.  Watch the smiles on their faces.  Its called negative attention.  Now from here on in only reward them with hugs, compliments, or high fives when you catch them being good.  Try to ignore the bad behavior.  If you are consistent, they will catch on quick.

They just want your love and attention.  Good Luck.

Answer 5

I was the big sister.... two little brothers... annoying! Yep.... boy can they be!

It's nice now--we are old people--we have kids of our own, cousins...fun times when we get together and life is not boring.... We have each other to love our parents who are getting old, and will need help and will one day be gone...

We have things to remember, and each other now that we are old and that is kind of nice....  :)

***ETA: I am sure you were part of the process and that the adoption worker did talk with you about what was going on...  I would bet that your parents have talked with you about the Honeymoon...about Transition about the kids needing time....

I would even bet that there was some discussion and talk about what it was going to be like to go from Only Child to Instant big sister....  

I would bet you are just feeling stress and it isn't like what you Thought it was going to be--it isn't always fun....and little kids are annoying...

But....I also bet that you are a great sister...and you know that and it's okay to have feelings that every kid has when they have big changes--or go from only child to one of three.... No one said it would be easy and you knew that....but, it is different to know it and actually be living it....

Your parents would not have made this choice if they didn't think you would be able to handle it.... But it doesn't mean you don't have the hard times.... It's cool.... and it's really what being a family is all about... You are doing a Great Job.... you know are thinking about how you feel and you will make good choices... being a big sister is Awesome.... I love it....

Answer 6

Hiya!

I'm sure that going from only child to instant big brother/sister is quite an adjustment.  We adopted two older children and our biological teenager, who was involved and with us every step of the process, had some adjustment issues also, when the children finally arrived.  

I'm not going to minimize your feeings because I know how hard it was for my teenager to adjust.  Your entire family situation has changed and everyone (including your parents and your new younger brothers) are trying to figure out how to fit together as a new family.  Also, this comes at a time in your life (a young teenager) where you are going through some rough waters, just by being a teenager.  Take these two events together and it's a pretty dramatic change in your life!

Some of my son's frustration stemmed from the fact that being an only child, he didn't understand what younger siblings are supposed to do: squabbling, being annoying,wanting to do whatever you're doing, all of this is normal little sibling stuff.  I would suggest talking to some of your friends who have younger siblings and I'm sure they'll tell you the same thing.

However, I'm also going to suggest talking to a counselor.  It helps to have an adult to talk to, who isn't involved with your family.  Getting an outsider's perspective can help a good deal.

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 7

Curious, did your parents ask you how you felt about them adopting? If they didn't, they should have.

I don't think you are being self-centered.

Good luck, and hope you can find a quiet place to retreat to.

Answer 8

GO IN YOUR ROOMAND CUT THE MUSIC UP

Answer 9

You know, I think that was such a nice question you asked -- "Is there a way I can be able to feel less cranky?" I just think that shows you're a really considerate person, in the face of this really huge adjustment.

I agree with Elizabeth that I hope you can   find some quiet time away by yourself, maybe hang in your room when you feel the need to retreat.

Answer 10

your feelings are SO normal. They just did not adopt 2 kids..this involved you more then they realized. They brought 2 children who were going to demand thier attention 90% of the time.  I think maybe you all might benifit from counseling.if it is available at your church or community,

I dont think its fair for your folks to expect you to watch them..You havent bonded with them yet.

Color with the 4 yr old...for 10-20 min

read the 4 yr old a story

Whne the kids ask u a question say go ask mom

Take the 7 yr old for a run around the block.

ask the 7 yr old to read to you.

giving your self a few minutes around them and doing something might help.

Whne you need a break say to your folks " i played colored and read and now I'd like to go to a movie.